Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Monday, January 02, 2006
A crossroads of sorts
The whole family somewhat-reconciliation thing has brought a new level of paranoia up in Chez Broad here, namely that the potential for them reading me and what I have to say has risen exponentially. And a lot of that stuff, especially when it comes to them, is not what one would call complimentary. (Yeah, I know. Shut-up.) Not that it has to be or even should be, because there was -- and still is -- a lot of hurt and anger on my end, and I don't forsee that changing anytime soon. The thing is, these people don't have the best track record with understanding things from my point of view, and I'm freaked the fuck outconcerned that if they were to see me calling BFKAS a fucking bitch (as I have several times) or even calling her "BFKAS," the wolf pack is going to turn on me yet again, and I'm just, like, (shudders). Of course, my panic could all be for nothing because they could conceivably know about Chez Broad already, and that wouldn't necessarily surprise me, though what would is that they haven't said anything about it. Seriously, I just don't see them getting what this is all about. Maybe B-Dubs would, and CA knows about it, but that's about it.

Last week when I was chatting with Julie about getting my vanity site back up, I asked her to upgrade me to MT 3.2, which has a password-protection script for it so if I decide to put one on some of the F-ed up Family entries, I could. I haven't decided if I'm going to yet. I mean, if I do, am I censoring myself? Would I scare off potential readers? Or would I be making an already paranoid bunch even moreso (after all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)? I don't know. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

The bullshit has started already, though: The other night when I was talking to CA, she asked me if TOG has said anything about my brother-in-law lately, as if I didn't know that if he had and I told her, she wouldn't go back to BFKAS. No, he hasn't said anything, but if he had, the only things he tells me are things that anyone off the street could (i.e. any one of the colorful fights my sister and BiL have had, because they usually happen around at least five other people that could just as easily tell me). When it comes to the scandalous, though, like if my BiL was having an affair or changing his gender or any other personal thing that boys talk about, he's NOT going to tell me; he values his friends' privacy. More to the point, he also knows I wouldn't be able to keep it quiet. So no, I'm not a secret conduit here, and frankly, it's better that way, because again, wolf pack.

Speaking of, TOG was over last week. He's doing all right; he talked a little bit about Mikiko, but I tried to steer him away from it because it didn't feel to me like he was ready to go there.
Posted by Broad6:22 PM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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