So the detailer guy calls me back today and tells me—get this—that even though Pimp (which, if it isn’t clear to y’all, is my car’s sanctioned nickname, as it has many secrets and doesn’t want to be identified by my tens of adoring fans) drives perfectly fine, the two inches of remaining standing water in it has the potential to ignite the electrical nonsense underneath the carpet. And I thought to myself, “Huh. That might’ve been helpful yesterday, when I was driving around the wasteland that is now my town identifying for the paper as many of the flooded areas as I could; they were the ones identified by cones set up by the Public Works Department to deter dumbasses from commanding their own U-boats.” Oh, and because the water not only got under the carpet, but was most likely sewer water to boot (ew), the detail is going to be waaaaaaay over the deductible; the whole interior is going to have to be completely removed and the padding completely replaced, and that’s before the mechanic gives it the once-over to make sure there’s no electrical damage.

But don’t cry for me, because lo! the detailer, he did redeem himself, as he secured for me a brand spankin’ new, 7-miles-off-the-lot, 2007 Corolla as my rental car for the next two weeks while Pimp detoxes. And? He did it at the cost my insurance would cover. And? The new Corolla is a HONEY of a car, with sweet pickup and smooth handling. Makes me really kind of want one NOW instead of in 16 years, when I’ll finally have Pimp paid off and will have likely driven him into the ground. Though, I’m not dissin’ on my car, because if it survived almost-submersion in Lake Woeisme without serious damage, it has to be a hearty vehicle worthy of respect. In any event, Farm Bureau’s getting its money first when I get paid tomorrow.

Speaking of respect, it seems that there are people out there who evidently either didn’t read my missive a month ago about why I blog and the rules to which I adhere when doing so, or they did but have no reading comprehension whatsoever, so Ima post a link to it again so those who need to can go back and read it, but more slowly this time, thanks:

Lookit.

If that isn’t clear enough, then I don’t know else what to say, except to not get yourself worked up by coming here. It’s really not healthy and makes you look kind of sad.