So Mother was supposed to hunker down at Chez Broad after the storm last week, right? It was against every sane bone in my body, but she’s my mother, so one makes sacrifices. Anyway, she arrives, and I tell her that she can crash in my room since I have a queen and I’m used to crashing on the couch. Well, she can’t crash in there because my boys will want to sleep in there with her, she said, even though you can SHUT my door to keep them out and really? They might pester her, but they sleep with their momma (aka me). Okaaaaaaaay, so I hand her a sheet and make up the couch for her, and she sits down while I go over to my D-List celebrity BFF’s so his lovely woman can teach me to prune my own head when it gets too unwieldy.

I get back to the crib, and Mother tells me that I need to take her to my uncle’s because she’s going to spend the night there. Annoyed, I ask why, and she tells me that my eldest was harassing her. “I told you he hangs out on the back of the couch and he’ll leave you alone if you leave him alone,” I reminded her once again. But then no sooner did I walk out of the can when I looked, and there was Rube crouched on the cushion with his paws on her pillow, looking at her like, “Yeah? What’re you going to do, old crazy lady?” I guess he did that to her several times while I was gone, and she freaked out.

Hey, worked for me.