Ok, so long before I realized I was supposed to write, I worked for IEG, a Chicago-based publishing company that specializes in the sponsorship industry. (For our purposes here, my position wasn't important, but it was customer service wonk/fulfillment wonk, if you're interested.) And each year, they held a 3-1/2 day conference about sponsorship and would bring in all these huge names in the industry to keynote. It was, like, the total bomb-diggity, held at the Chicago Hilton & Towers, which is totally swank -- so swank that, because it's a gi-normous event each year, the hotel throws in the Conrad Hilton suite gratis for the company owners to crash. Nothing like partying in a two-story hotel suite with a butler, lemme tell YOU.

But that's not the point. The point is, one of the keynote speakers this year is none other than Perry Farrell -- you know, leader of Jane's Addiction? -- and THEY'RE ISSUING ME A PRESS PASS TO SEE HIM! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Now, he's not granting interviews so far, but I've already been told that if I happen to catch him as he's walking from the ballroom, I won't be precluded from trying to pin him down (provided, of course, that I don't literally pin him down and try to hump his leg while muttering "I love you!" over and over. But I can't make any promises, because IT'S PERRY FUCKIN' FARRELL! OH. MY. GOD.)

You wish you were me now, doncha!?!?