Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

I'm just a girl

Monday, September 22, 2008
What was that about “more training and education?”


Guess it’s a good thing I work in a crap-paying industry, or I’d REALLY be pissed about the money I’m getting screwed out of.

So lately I’ve been trying to determine which presidential candidate was responsible for the whole “I want to be able to have a beer with the common man” shtick. Was it Shrub? Clinton? As far back as Reagan (for me, anyway; I was only 10 when he took over)? Further than that? Whoever it was, he deserves a swift punch in the throat. If I wanted my leader to be so accessible that he or she would join me at G-Town for a couple beers, I’d run as a write-in, ferchrissake. I mean, I don’t know about y’all, but there isn’t one person with whom I have drunk beer in the last 20 years that I would want running this country, so how did that even become a consideration?

(And yes, I DID read the Salon-Paglia opus on Palin. To that I say unequivocally: Any woman who posits that rape is a biological male imperative does not and WILL NOT represent me EVER.)

Aaaaaaand ... let’s stop talking about this.

Instead, let’s talk about why I’m wide awake: For the first time in I don’t know how long, Poppy and I took the Peapod for a bike ride this evening. I KNOW, but it’s not like the 80-some collective pounds we gots to lose prior to our 20th in October ain’t gonna melt off by themselves. (Heh) Yep, Pop has agreed to go. She’s much more zen about it than I am—I’ve been going back and forth between, “Yeah, whatever,” and “Wow, do you think maybe they’ll think I’m cool now? Do you? Do you?” much to Poppy’s delight since she’s been making fun of me about it ever since I turned in my check. I’m annoyed, though, that the ensemble I planned to wear has already been seen by another classmate, but how was I supposed to know a former classmate was going to show up at the Bang-Bang grand opening, which was super-fantastic as only Ann and Ben can make it? I suppose it didn’t help that, upon walking in and seeing her chatting with Ben, I had to go up and hug him, as if she gives a shit that he and I are tight. Probably could’ve gotten around it unseen. Crap.

Posted by Broad5:55 AM
Monday, September 08, 2008
Using “nadir” wasn’t my idea

As always, I compared this version to my original, and something seems off in the editing, but I can’t put my finger on what, exactly.

Anyway, Mr. Nader was lovely to talk to and extremely gracious to me and everyone who interrupted us. And, believe it or not, there was only one woman who heckled him (and walked away before he could get in a word—to which he replied, “See the political bigotry? They don’t even want to discuss it. It’s a uniquely American phenomenon.") The rest were either fans or starfuckers, but whatever the case, it was a good interview, and love him or hate him, you have to give give him props for being a true believer.

HAMMOND—Shoring up Independent Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader’s resolve is never daunting, but it might not always be as easy as reading the newspaper.

Nader, who with his vice presidential candidate, Matt Gonzalez, stopped at the Cracker Barrel to talk exclusively with the Post-Tribune, pointed to the article before he even sat down. The two stopped in Indiana, then backpedaled to Lansing, Ill., as part of their weekend tour of the Midwest.

The article, which discussed leasing public assets, chills him to the core every time.

“This 75-to-99-year leasing turns colonialism on its head and is very bad for consumers; in this article, it says the tolls will rise to $25 by 2050,” he said. “It’s the corporate takeover of America. We’ve outsourced the military with Blackwater and Haliburton, and now the contract specialists who wrote those contracts are outsourcing their work to different countries.”

Working overtime

With seven states left to go in their quest to get on the ballot, Nader, 74, and Gonzalez are working overtime to get their platform to the masses. Supporters in Indiana will have to write-in their names as Nader-Gonzalez won’t be on the ballot.

Their platform includes items he says Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain have taken “off the table,” such as a 6-month, comprehensive negotiated military and corporate withdrawal from Iraq; single-payer, Canadian style free-choice health insurance; a living-wage and repeal of the anti-union Taft-Hartley Act; and a no-nuke, solar-based energy policy supported by renewable and sustainable energy sources.

Solar energy is a change he’s touted for years, and many utility executives to whom he’s spoken prefer wind power as the next energy source, he said.

Furthermore, once big companies have the same environmental standards, it removes the argument of one corporation getting preferential treatment over another.

In order to bring jobs back to Northwest Indiana and the rest of the country, for that matter, the fastest way to do that would be creating public works efficiency much like the “New Deal” did so many years ago.

More community policing

And instead of throwing more money toward law enforcement, he would rely more on community policing and rehabilitation instead of incarceration when it comes to many drug infractions.

Getting states to back off on abatements for new businesses may be a tough battle, but the public should know abatements are really just “icing on the cake” for corporations; corporations choose a site based on labor and location, not abatement.

Nader said he argued with Gov. Mitch Daniels over the Indiana Toll Road leasing, to no avail. Daniels did, however, listen to Nader when he suggested that all contracts forged with the state of Indiana be put online for the public to see. Indiana’s the first state in the country to do that, he said.

Mostly, Nader and Gonzalez want to see the country stop the speculation using the country’s capital.

“Betting on bets upon bets,” he said, produces nothing when the capital can be redirected to where it needs to go, such as infrastructure.

As for the other two candidates, Nader declined to discuss them outside of their issues. Gonzalez did, however, speak to his own credentials as the vice presidential candidate.

“I was President of San Francisco’s City Council, which has twice the budget and population of Alaska and Delaware,” he said.

Posted by Broad10:33 PM
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Wait’ll you see

who *I* just interviewed. Steph’s going to send me a pic, so I’ll post it, good or bad.

In the meantime, I found this really funny:


Posted by Broad3:43 PM
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Dual purpose for not shaving my legs

Would somebody like to explain to me how it is that, barring external factors like absence, if a man and a woman of the same intelligence level take the exact same classes in college; or take the exact same training program for their companies, the WOMAN is the one who needs “more training?” And if the problem is “Well, the women have FAMILIES to raise, so they can’t be there for all the classes,” wouldn’t the more effective (read: fair) solution be “provide better affordable child/elder care so women can complete the tasks with which they are given?” Just curious.

And I wish I could take credit for this question, but I shall post it here in case, by some twist of fate, someone with any means to get it to the proper channels sees it:

I personally would like someone to ask Sarah Palin during the VP debate why she feels if their ticket wins, she doesn’t deserve as much money as Joe Biden would get.

Fortunately for Ms. Palin, it’s a non-issue since, if she gets elected, the VP’s pay is federally established. Wonder if she’d support the party line if it weren’t.

Posted by Broad5:14 PM
Monday, August 11, 2008

Still here; STILL without cable/neenernet. Hope to regale y’all with all my complaints later this eve.

Posted by Broad6:07 PM
Friday, July 25, 2008
Good CHRIST will you shutUP already!?? Gad!

It’s now, oh, midnight-ish up here in Chez Broad, and I’ve been following with morbid fascination two posts on Jez (SHOCKING!) that my favie Moe wrote about condom-less sex. The original post was about an NPR segment calling said sex “the new engagement!”—an interesting premise, if you ask me—and the second an APOLOGY post for the first post because people read it as Moe singing the virtues of unprotected sex, and we’re not supposed to do that in this day and age. Only, the people didn’t like her apology, either, because of its flip tone.

The first thing I gotta say is to all the commenters who let everyone know—AGAIN—that this time was the LAST time they’d ever read Jez: We KNOW you don’t like Moe’s writing, and we KNOW you have your reasons because you tell us every damn time she posts something. If you’re going to go, KEEP YOUR DAMN WORD AND JUST FUCKING GO. Y’all are like the spurned party in a rotten relationship who keeps threatening to leave but NO ONE takes seriously because you keep coming back and repeating yourself (not that *I* have any experience with that whatsover, but ... (cough) ... and I mean the rotten relationship, not making dramatic pronouncements on Jez. I reFUSE to do that).

The other thing is this, and it’s in reference to the particular commenters who insist that Moe’s a role model via her position on a well-known Web site: A role model, by its definition, is something to which one aspires, but what if Moe doesn’t WANT anyone aspiring to be her and just wants to tell her truth? To me, “role model” signifies a lofty position that should be filled only by a specific type of person who I would say is almost beyond reproach, and that ain’t Moe, nor is it many people I know. So why should she have to be someone she’s not or doesn’t want to be? I know I sure as hell don’t want to be a role model; poster child’s more my speed, anyway, and I’m good at that.

And they’re STILL at it over there. Talk about a mob mentality. Man.

Posted by Broad4:46 AM
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Halp! She’s making me do it again!

My downstairs neighbor once again went to get her colored and has once again asked me to help her “fix it.” Yes, there will be beer and food for my trouble, but one of these days, her hair is going to plum fall out of her head, and then I’m going to feel responsible. How it HASN’T happened yet, I’ve no clue.

But at least there will be beer. 

Posted by Broad12:38 AM
Friday, July 18, 2008
Why can’t I be deep like this!??

I share with you now a quote from a commenter on Gawker re: a 20 year-old girl who goes to a party filled with a bunch of high-profile NYC bloggers and gets her idealist cherry popped:

The job of a writer is to write. He pastes together an experience out of language, like any other craftsman. The same as a plumber pastes together the water system of a house. If you think the purpose of asking questions and communicating experience is to get “answers” to “questions”, well you’re bound for a life of sore disappointment. Just ask about four thousand years of recorded philosophy and poetry what they think of the “answers” to great questions.

It is the job of a GOOD person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of WRITER and GOOD PERSON coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more WRITERS in the world than there are GOOD PEOPLE.—Pope John Peeps II

Ladies, am I lying when I say that’s freakin’ HOT!??

Posted by Broad5:39 AM
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The advantages(?) of living in a red state

In today’s news (written by my homie, Piet):

By Piet Levy Post-Tribune
Staff writer

MERRILLVILLE—Some people strictly associate Planned Parenthood with abortion and a pro-choice agenda. So it may come as a surprise that the Planned Parenthood at 8645 Connecticut St. offers free services promoting adoption.

The Merrillville center is only the third Planned Parenthood in the state to feature on-site counselors from a local adoption agency, said Liz Carroll, vice president of patient services for Planned Parenthood of Indiana. Carroll said only a handful of centers across the country are offering such services.

“Our mission is to provide women with options, to give them information so they can make good decisions for themselves and their families,” Carroll said. “Having the adoption service available if they want to talk to somebody about it just seems to fit so well with our philosophy of providing women with choice.”

A Planned Parenthood clinic in Indianapolis was the first in the state to feature a partnership with an adoption agency, beginning in the summer of 2006. Carroll said two adoptions have been secured at that location thanks to the partnership.

Carroll said the staff at the Merrillville clinic was clamoring to follow in the Indianapolis clinic’s footsteps.

As a result, the Merrillville Planned Parenthood teamed up with The Adoption Center for Family Building in April, prompting the regional branch of the Skokie-based Center to move from Munster and relocate inside the actual clinic.

Carroll said the Merrillville clinic—one of the region’s largest and most visited, with both abortion and family planning facilities—had enough space to accommodate the Center’s staff.

She said the organization will keep an eye on the partnership’s success rate in Merrillville, and that Planned Parenthood in general would be open to such partnerships in the future, depending on individual relationships with adoption agencies and available space at clinics.

Tobi Ehrenpreis, the Center’s founder, said they have provided other Planned Parenthood clinics in the area with fliers and brochures, and are hoping to offer some outreach at local schools and organizations.

“I think the more people know about what’s available, the better,” Ehrenpreis said. “Adoption is one of the choices, a good one, for some people.”

Ehrenpreis said counselors can visit with Planned Parenthood patients on Wednesdays and Fridays between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. Otherwise, women can make an appointment by calling 795-9900.

More information is at

Contact Piet Levy at 648-3102 or Comment

You’d think as an adoptee I’d be all about this, and I’m not not about it, I guess, but. I mean, why now when this partnership could’ve been conceived (hah! pun) from the very start of PP? Is this something PP has to do to keep whatever paltry funding it gets? Is it a countrywide trend? And there’s a zillion different adoption agencies out there, so why would PP want to get into the fray?

Again, it’s not that it’s a bad idea at all—PP needs to continue to be the leader in reproductive services, and that means ALL services. I ... just have questions.

As is the rule, tread lightly if you’re going to comment.

[EDITED TO ADD: Check it out, y’all! Jez picked up my tip: Lookit! And it was even written by Moe! Cool beans!]
Posted by Broad2:19 PM
Thursday, July 03, 2008
It got so hot in here (I took off all my clothes)

And I’m sure there’s still a bit of wang emanating from my person, too, but you know what? The rain washed away the heat, and now my windows are wide open with a cool, cool breeze.

Going to see Cracker tonight at NWI’s “premiere rock festival,” but not before hitting T’s for some of her town’s twilight parade. Has the potential for interesting. We’ll see.

Posted by Broad6:50 PM
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Not leaving on my account, are you?

Though I suppose I wouldn’t blame my downstairs neighbor for taking off, seeing that I opened my windows and just added THE FREAKING SMITHS to my iPod. Yeah, I don’t know either because I normally can’t stand Morrissey and his haughty, insipid being-British shtick. But if she’da just waited, “Dance Hall Days” by Wang Chung was next in the lineup (followed by Fugazi’s “Smallpox Champion,” which I don’t picture her trucking with— oh, but here’s Bobby Brown’s “Every Little Step.” It’s even an extended remix, I think).

Fun fact: I can now pull my hair back into two teeny little hipster ponies, which’ll be perfect for when it’s hot and gross out again.

Posted by Broad7:50 PM
Friday, June 27, 2008
Swimsuit shopping (See: God’s cruel, cruel joke)

So my seester and her fam have rented a beach house next week for the High Holiday, and she invited me to come out and hang with her and the spawn. “Awesome,” I said. “I’m not a big swimmer (especially when not surrounded by vinyl or concrete), but it’ll be fun to watch the spawn frolic among the waves and sand, and maybe we’ll grill out and shit.” My seester, however, reminded me of how big a dork I would look like trying to get sun in a pair of capris and a tie-dye, so it was somewhat decided that I should have a new swimsuit. Ok, like I said, I’m not a good swimmer, and I’ve mentioned here before that when the genes were parsed among my sibs and me, I, as the only full-blooded Eastern European, got the sallow-yellow-doesn’t-tan-for-crap gene (I take that back—I’m pretty sure the youngest doesn’t tan, either, but she’s not sallow yellow, so if/when SHE stays out of the sun, it looks like she’s supposed to, whereas *I* look like a ‘net porn addict who rarely experiences daylight). Therefore, I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this swimsuit, so I decided to hit Kohl’s—you know, decently made, mid-range stuff that’s on hella sale this week. Got to Kohl’s around 11:30-ish and proceeded to find three tankini tops, two bottoms and one full tankini in what I figure my size is around.

Now when I hit the dressing room, I knew right off the bat the bottom half was going to be a trainwreck. I mean, let’s face it: I’m 5’3 with squatty legs, I’ve gained 50+ since the LAST time I shopped for a swimsuit and there’s that thing about my ass being flat. Heidi I’m not, and I’ve reached that point where I can deal with the fact that short of starving myself, I’ll never hit my high school weight again. But y’all, why they gotta make my cans look flat? I mean, there were cups where the tatters go—in the right places, even—but they were purely decoration, because ain’t no WAY a chick my size was going to look hot in any of the three I tried on. Not even store-bought t*ts could’ve held up under the mockingly blatant non-support. And it’s not like I want people being all like, “Guh, look at the rack on THAT one!” but dammit, there has to be something better out there for chicks like me who don’t want to spend a shit-ton of money on something I might wear once or twice a season. Jeez.

Posted by Broad2:20 AM
Saturday, June 21, 2008
More bacon than the pan can handle

Last night Girlie and I trekked on up to Martyr’s in Chicago to catch this band called 27 Jennifers. Maybe you’ve heard of them:


This is ubergroovy bassist Andrew Livingston, who used to provide the bassline with his big ol’ cello before Homeland Security made it an asspain to travel with such an instrument. He’s a pretty popular musician, but perhaps you know his band leader:

Posted by Broad1:09 AM
Saturday, June 07, 2008
In case you were wondering what’s on the upper DISH channels

and because we’re nothing if not service-y over here at Chez Broad, there’s Classic Tractors, Training Mules and Donkeys, Big Joe Polka Show, Forge and Anvil, Animal Makeover TV, Cowboy Flavor (now now, it’s a cooking show) and Making it Grow (whatever that means). And all of this high-brow fare is kicked off by Imus in the Morning, of all things. Oh, and you can get a 10-carat yellow sapphire and diamond ring for the low, low price of $30,500 and an Air Climber and a laptop on the Shop Latino network (because like Girlie says, them Latinos sure do like their gadgets).

We’re indulging in a quiet weekend over here—Girlie’s over here laughing hysterically at the Gem Network, where they have a “treasure chest mix” for $199.99 ("It’s rocks around the clock!") and I keep trying to yank my hair back into ponytail. It’s much more sedate than last weekend, when I broke into a rather, um, spirited performance (or, as Girlie calls it, a “cry for help") when these three skanky bar whores walked into the G-Town after our boyz played a blisteringly good show. Sorry, but grinding up on each other after last call at G-Town is NOT APPROPRIATE. No. It isn’t. That behavior is more appropriate at the Serbian bar a town over.

Posted by Broad3:04 AM
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Screw Condi posing with KISS

THAT’S Paul Stanley, y’all:


I’ll take Gene—plastic surgery or not—because that poor bastard looks like Jackie Mason in a cheap Cher wig.

Posted by Broad3:30 AM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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