Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Normal bitching

Wednesday, June 16, 2004
I’ll take a bottle of Pepto and glazed doughnut. To go.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this yet, but did I tell y'all that I bought a car? Yeah? Well, the reality of said purchase is sinking in, and anxiety sucks. I mean, I have a car payment again, for Chrissake. And my insurance went up by $100. And my excise tax I'm sure is going to suck, too. Oof. All this money thought is making me itch. At least the one story I wrote today that I freaked out about didn't suck as bad as I thought it would, compared with the competition's: I've already written about the high-speed rail coming to Northwest Indiana. There were some points I missed, but overall, I think I focused on the bigger part of the story, which is that lawmakers are slowly coming on board. Still, I hate stressing over my work, especially when I need it now more than ever. And if I haven't made it abundantly clear? Anxiety sucks.
Posted by Broad4:24 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, June 07, 2004
People like the damnedest things
Ok, so I got sidetracked by some porn today (don't ask), and I have to throw this out here: What's sexy about a woman sucking her own nipple?

PLEASE don't tell me it's because she can, because it doesn't fly. I mean, I don't care if a dude can fellate himself -- I'm STILL not going to find that appealing in any way. I'm just not. So, what am I missing, here? Ladies? Gentleman?
Posted by Broad9:25 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
But Julie Cooper likes that old time rock n’ roll
There are myriad reasons why I like only maybe two Bob Seeger songs, but one of them really makes me itch more than the rest: In the song "Rock n' Roll Never Forgets," Bob sings the line, "You used to shake 'em down/but now you're more concerned about your dignity/And now Sweet 16's turned 31 ..."

Wait, WHAT!?!?! 30-fucking-1!?!? When did 31 become a time of worrying about dignity, fer chrissakes!?!? I don't recall anything like that when I was 31. Most broads in their 30s, if they're not buying into the whole marriage/family thing, are having quite a lot of fun; they're still their looks, and they have the whole experience thing on their side, having gone through the "Terrible 20s" and all that.

Fifty-one, I could've bought, but 31? No way.
Posted by Broad1:26 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, May 27, 2004
No pressure or anything
Tonight was a colleague's going-away drinkfest -- it tends to go in waves, these mass exoduses (exodi?), but this chick's taking off to be close to family -- and I was chatting with one of my other colleagues/friends, who I make NO secret of adoring because she's cute and tenacious and so, SO knocked-up right now. But anyway, she tells me that she actually READS ME HERE. (Yeah, you KNOW I'm talking about you, grrrrrrrrl.)

No, of course it's not a problem; you know, blogging, putting your life in the either for everyone to see, hello? It's just sweet to think my colleagues/friends are checking me out here when they can hear me piss and moan on a regular basis. Encouraging, even. So thanks, you!
Posted by Broad3:09 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Driving along, doing ma thang, pt. 1
1. Why is that people who want to save the earth and hug a tree always smell REALLY BAD!?!? I mean, isn't it part of the point to make the world a better, less smelly place?

2. Why would someone name their dental practice "White Orchid Dental"? Is it because it's really a front for an Asian massage parlor?
Posted by Broad5:40 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, May 21, 2004
Fake bake? Check. Gut Sucker? Check …
When I was born, I inhertited quite a few things from my biological family, among them a big ass and legs, as well as a distinctive nose, smirk and shoe fetish. The one I didn't get, however, was the "permanent tan gene," which means that since I was, oh, 18, I've had that Eastern European yellow color but no ability to make it golden in the summer. (Which is why I keep my hair some shade of red -- makes me look less sallow). So every year, I attempt to remedy the situation with some form of sunless tanning lotion, and that lasts about a week or two before I completely screw it up and go back to my pasty sallowness. (Plus, sunless tanning looks really disgusting as it fades on someone with my skin tone.)

Well, it looks like I may have it down this year. Coppertone's Endless Summer in Fair/Medium has given me a fairly natural-looking hue without making me smell like ass. Granted, it's been so long that I've actually had a real tan, I don't exactly know what color it's really supposed to be, but still. I do need to clean it up a bit on my ankles, but I FINALLY got it perfect on my hands for once. Oh, and my chest and neck looks pretty good, too. I hope my sister appreciates the effort I'm putting in to looking better than she will, because this is a pain in the ass.
Posted by Broad8:17 PM • (0) Trackbacks
We’ll be dancin’ on the ceiling
Anybody catch Lionel and Nicole Richie on Oprah this morning? I'd forgotten how much I dig him and his music. Like, with The Commodores? Oh, HELL yeah. Even some of his solo stuff could be filed under "Guilty Pleasure Listening" for me. I could see myself getting a greatest hits album of his.

Lunch today? A Whopper with everything, a whole Ghiardelli chocolate caramel bar and a Pepsi. Holy shit.
Posted by Broad4:58 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Keeping up with the Joneses
Finally, my 100 things [UPDATED 11/13/07]:

Posted by Broad2:05 AM
Friday, May 14, 2004
Whoa, too accurate, except about the stoned part
I TOTALLY had one of these when I was a kid, too!
Posted by Broad6:39 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Heebin’ my head off
You'd think the boys would do a little more about earning their keep besides being the most beautiful boys on earth: I'm watching a "Cops" marathon (hey, shut-UP, man; we ain't got no stinkin' cable in Chez Broad) and the Little Guy gets all squirrelly and starts stalking the lamp on the end table. I look at what he's looking at, and it seems one of the big, creepy spiders that was crawling around the ceiling this afternoon had made its big creepy way into my lamp. Well, before I know it, he knocks the lamp over trying to get the beast, only to run away after the lamp comes crashing down. (Rube, meanwhile, is laying on the preferred spot of the couch, looking at us both like we're high on crack.) Long story short, I Raided the fucker and put him in an empty Gatorade bottle, but now I've got a serious case of the crawlies. Bleagh.
Posted by Broad11:44 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Free drugs. Boo.
The thing about the three-day flavored nuclear grade antibiotics that I probably should've taken into consideration? They're nondiscriminate against the bacteria they target. Meemees are screaming loud and clear, yo.

[ED NOTE: I just spent a lot of time with a post continuing about BFKAS and the Crones, but then I decided I wasn't in the mood to whine about them anymore, so I deleted it. It was a shite pile, anyway, so I don't feel bad about using my editorial license to chuck it. Really, it's best to catch me on a tear after something good and juicy happens with them, which it inevitably will. Or maybe I've just grown tired of their ridiculousness. One can only hope, anyway, but I doubt it, because when it comes down to it? There's something to be said about nature, and try as I might, I haven't escaped it yet. But something I will piss and moan about? The one guy's slacking something fierce, and we don't like it.]
Posted by Broad2:33 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, May 10, 2004
Free drugs! Woo!
Nothing like going to your doctor to pick up your free meds and have him hand me not just a Z-Pak, but a THREE-DAY Z-PAK. I didn't even know they made them in the three-day flavor! Excellent! Now maybe I can get rid of this stupid lethargy/whininess kicking my ass.

So today after I covered this thing at the nursing home one of my pals works at and drove off the two-beer buzz I acquired at lunch, I started flipping out about Hannah's baby shower in a couple weeks. See, I'm really not looking forward to seeing the BFKAS and her minions (aka my brother and sister, as well as my sister's two kids, I'm sure). No, seriously.
Posted by Broad8:08 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Still feh-ful, yo
Man, this old isn't letting up. I can breathe and all, but damn! I'm still coughing and all that. Feh.

But check out my assignment tonight:
Trump Casino > Hotel to host Steve Dahl Celebrity Poker Tournament with WCKG-FM, > Saturday, May 8 at 7 p.m. in the Trump Poker room where celebrities > will compete in a No Limit Texas Hold'em tournament for a $10,000 pot > to be donated to their favorite charity.
Celebrity participants include Bill Rancic, recent winner from The Apprentice; Don Novello (Father Guido Sarducci) from Saturday Night Live; Frederico Castelluchio (Furio Giunta) from The Sopranos; Tony Darrow who starred in Goodfellas, Analyze This, > Small Time Crooks and Mickey Blue Eyes; Jeff Garlin from Curb Your > Enthusiasm; Chicago Bears Hall of Famer, Gale Sayers; long-time > television and radio personalities Bob Sirott and Steve Dahl.

Fuckin' Furio, man. Sweeeeeeeet.
Posted by Broad2:56 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, May 07, 2004
Prayer for the annoyeded
So yeah, I went to that National Day of Prayer thing this evening, and to my credit, I made sure I was facing away from the crowd as I let fly with the snarky comments to the photog who was there. But also being the total shit that I can be sometimes, I made sure to ask one of the pastors taking part that why was there no representation of any non-Christian denominations. Of course, I didn't blast him for it in print, because that wasn't the point of the story, but still, it made me feel kinda mean, which is always cool.

My crazy aunt got to see little Hannah today -- the message on my machine said she was beautiful, which duh, of course she is, especially if she looks like me, which, since this is my bio-fam, I'm convinced that every new critter to the family DOES look like me in some way. (There's some strong-ass genes in this pool, I tells ya.) If I don't get out there prior, I'll get to meet her in a couple weeks. Which means I'll also probably run into the BFKAS and my brother and sister, and that has the potential for extreme. ugliness.
Posted by Broad2:39 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Can you feel the feh!?
Feeling a bit introspective and lethargic over in Chez Broad; it's warm out (finally!), but even though I have the windows open and there's a breeze, it's still stuffy and moist up in here. And yet, I refuse to put on the air condition until it's at least 85 degrees out, and it wasn't 85 degrees.

Anyway, I'm off to cover a National Night of Prayer event, (yeah, I just cover the stuff; I don't have to agree with it) and then a "Friends" going-away party. More later maybe.
Posted by Broad7:31 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 4 of 7 pages « First  <  2 3 4 5 6 >  Last »
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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