Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Face to face, sleep back-to-back
Right now, the boys are lounging on the office bed in somewhat of a '96' position: on the pillows, backs to each other. No, that does NOT make them gay, so stop it! (And y'all know who you are.)

So, can just I tell you I'm now addicted to ring tones? At $2.50 a pop, I probably shouldn't be, but "Brass Monkey," y'all! You can't turn down the "Brass Monkey"! Right now, I have it set on "Song2" by Blur -- you know, the one that goes "WOO-hoo!" I can't wait for it to go off during a big serious meeting. That'll be cool, huhuhhuhuhuhuh. (Beavis.) Next up? The Grand Master Flash version of "White Lines." ("Don't you get too high, baby.")

Won't be covering the debates tonight after all, but I will hunker down and watch them. Not like I'll have a choice, because Fox is broadcasting them, too. Should be interesting.
Posted by Broad6:39 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Broads and their toys
I swear, I'm such a dude sometimes: The battery on my piece-of-shit cell phone was starting to go, so instead of being pratical and getting a new battery, what I do? I go out and spend $50 for a teenie-weenie little flip phone that's just so. damn. CUTE. Well, that and I upped my plan to Cingular's special 1000 minutes with rollover for $39.99, which is 400 more than I had, but I ended up relinquishing my unlimited nights and weekends. Honestly, though, I do most of my cell talking during the day, so 1000 miuntes equals out to, what, 6 hours or something? That could be enough, so I guess I was being sort of practical after all. Huh.

So, for the past few days, I've been sitting in front of a blank sheet of paper, trying to write Cousin Nancy a letter, and although Kaffy and I talked about what it should say, it hasn't been going as smoothly as I'd like.
Posted by Broad12:52 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
I had a Twix last night. Does that count?
This was bizarre: This morning, I dreamt that me, Mother and other people who I can't remember right now were living in a hotel (real similar to hotels that I seem to dream about all the time), but this time, it was more like a dorm than an actual hotel, if that makes any sense (and it shouldn't because it's a dream, and dreams aren't necessarily supposed to make sense.) So Dad walks in with his new mistress and her mom (!). He was talking to me about how this new woman was right for him, etc. etc., and I remember just not wanting to hear any of it.

Yeah, I don't know, either.
Posted by Broad2:21 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
When quizzes aren’t right
Wow. This couldn't be more unlike me if the BFKAS did it. [Courtesy of the lovely Whitters]
Posted by Broad1:14 PM • (1) Trackbacks
Memeing the night away
All right, I'm phoning it in tonight, but it's a good meme. [Courtesy of Natalie]
Posted by Broad2:30 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, September 27, 2004
Sing it, Mary J.
Anyone catch that "Fashion Rocks" show on Fox tonight? Tell you what, I'd have never thunk to have Mary J. Blige sing Janis Joplin, but she did a bang up job on it -- got the right amount of sassy without all the ubbawubba emotion.

Lessee, what have I been doing the past few days ... well, I have a new friend-crush in a huge way: Her name's Jill, and she works at Customs in Miller, where I spent more money this weekend (but not a lot of money, since I don't HAVE a lot of money right now). I ended up picking up the thing I wanted about noonish, and I bascially stayed with her until closing time, drinking champagne and talking about EVERY. THING. It was really very cool. She thinks I have good morals. Heh, sucker ... no, actually, she's probably right, at least on a lot of stuff. Other than that, except for taking Mother out to lunch and picking up her acid-reflux medicine earlier, I took advantage of not working and spent most of the time in the crib, either sleeping, watching TV or talking to Mer, who's doing just fine. Of course, now that I've had a little taste o' solitude, I need MORE, dammit. But that? will not happen since tomorrow, I hit the ground running by talking to Joe Oberweis, the dude who owns Oberweis Dairies (and Illinois UBER Republican, but I'm not talking to him about his political shtick.)

Speaking of political, I'm probably going to be covering a focus group watching the debates on Thursday. In the microcosm of NWI, that ought to be a treat.
Posted by Broad1:54 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Lost another local to the savages of war
From the DoD's Web site:

Pfc. Nathan E. Stahl, 20, of Highland, Ind., died Sept. 21 in Iraq, when his vehicle was struck with an improvised explosive device. Stahl was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment from Fort Lewis, Wash.

I spent the majority of my evening doing some back-up for JB [UPDATE: John Grant Emeigh, aka JG EEEEEE-MAAAAAAY in Broad lingo, was the lead for the story, and JB and I were backup, just giving props where they're due] on this, mostly trying to come up with a yearbook picture of the kid. When I located the last one on file of him, I said to the guy from whom I got it, "Wow, he looks so young." And the guy says, "These are young kids fighting over there." And I was like, "Yup. Sigh." I mean, what the hell do you say, right?

Mother always tells the story of when she was a kid during WWII, Navy officers came to her parents' home to let them know that Mother's oldest brother was taken captive (by the Japanese, if I'm not mistaken). She was about 10 or 11 when it happened, and my uncle came out of it all right and everything. But when my folks went to adopt, Mother swore on all that was right and holy to her that she would NOT adopt a boy, because she didn't want to have those soldiers coming to her door like that.

My sincere sympathies to the Stahl/Nightingale families. God bless you for giving us your son, and God bless him for trying to keep our freedom.
Posted by Broad2:06 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Oh NO! Mr. BUSH!
Cat Stevens is trying to get into the country! To spread his message of hatefully bad ...

70s schmaltz music.

For the love of God, people.
Posted by Broad2:23 PM • (0) Trackbacks
I guess it got the cat thing right
Um ... not quite accurate, but I can deal:
Posted by Broad2:57 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Open letter to a jackass (and you know who you are)
I sincerely hope you're taking advantage of the psychiatric help you said your family hooked you up with, because you desperately need it. Seriously.

The end.

P.S. When you take the rubber sheet off your bed -- and I have it on excellent authority that you have one -- you can say all you want about the condition of my crib. Until then, shut your Goddamned gob.
Posted by Broad4:42 PM • (0) Trackbacks
It’s all Tara’s fault
I hab a code again, everyone, and although Tara says she started her 3-day flavored Z-Pak long before she and I hung out Saturday, I'm still blaming her, because I told her I would. In print. (Loveyoumeanit! wink

Family drama after the jump, since Kaffy, Tara and Greta got their updates live:
Posted by Broad1:42 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, September 20, 2004
Why are there little bugs flying out of my toilet?
Seriously, I've got these little gnat-like things surrounding my commode, and I can't figure out why, because if there's anything consistently clean in the crib? It's the can. Ew.

Got the news today that my 17 year-old cousin got arrested and put in juvie; seems she and my crazy aunt were arguing because Cousin (for our purposes, we'll call her Juliet) lied to her yet again, and when Crazy Aunt told Juliet she would be going to therapy and liking it, fisticuffs ensued and Juliet jacked Crazy Aunt in the mouth (which is, like, the dumbest thing in the world since Crazy Aunt? Is a kickboxer with a blackbelt. I mean, she may be overweight and out of shape now, but she's still 5'11, and I don't think kickboxing is a skill you just unlearn). And Crazy Aunt is pressing charges, and I say, "You're damn RIGHT you better be pressing charges." Girl's got to learn that there are consequences to your actions (a trait that seems to be lost on the bio-fam sometimes), and if this is the way it has to be, well, I think she made a real unfortunate choice for a lesson. What scares me, though, is that the next choice she makes will be to become a balls-out thug instead of getting the shit scared out of her; I have absolutely no gauge as to which one it's going to be, either.

Anyway, I'm taking Crazy Aunt to the court appearance tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have news at some point afterward.
Posted by Broad4:21 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Just chewy Christ now
Another crazy day yesterday, trying to find where my biz assignment was happening, plus catching up on a story I accidentally blew off Thursday night. But I must tell y'all that I'm positively THRILLED to see that I'm not getting raked over the coals about my little Mother outburst.
Posted by Broad4:59 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Crispity Christ
3:45, or 15 minutes before I'm supposed to pick Mother up to run her errands, I get this phone call:
Her: Are you there? Or did you leave yet? Pick up if you're there, because I was wondering ...
Me (sighing resignedly): Yes, Mother, I got my mail.
Her: Oh. Did you get the picture of the baby?
Me: Yeee-es, and I don't know why everyone's freaking out about how small he is, because he looks like a normal baby to me.
Her:Don't yell, because that's what (another aunt who agrees with me) did. Anyway, wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk ... Are you ready to pick me up? (Keep in mind, we've just spent five minutes talking about something we could've just as easily talked about when I pick her up.)
Me: Well, I was going to jump in the shower ...
Her: We won't have time to go, and I just want to go through the drive thru for a grilled cheese sandwich ...
Me (Looking at the phone like she's high on crack): What drive-thru has a grilled cheese sandwich, Mother?
Her: No, I meant Schoop's (a local burger place).
Me: I just told you I had Wendy's for lunch -- a HAMBURGER.
Her: Well, what else can you get there? (Have you forgotten that this is 15 minutes before I'm supposed to pick her up?)
Me: Well, let me jump in the shower, and I'll call you when I'm down there.
Her: But that'll take an hour (!) and ...
Me (Growling at this point): Fine. I won't take a shower, then.

Instead, I will blog about how you can be INSUFFERABLE PAIN IN MY ASS! GAH!
Posted by Broad7:09 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Cranky sings the blues (with love to getupgrrl)
This whole "responsible adult" thing is killing my buzz -- I've had three fucking phone calls before 9 a.m., and it's feeling like EVERYONE wants a piece of me, and I HATE that. So what's my solution? Blasting "Just One Fix" by Ministry really loud and thrashing around in my chair. What rebellion. And this? is why I'm quite sure I would make a terrible wife. (My aversion to responsibility, not thrashing around to Ministry -- that's actually pretty cool, if I do say so myself.)

But seriously, I've felt like that for the past few weeks, like eveyone's got designs on my time when all I really want to do is what I want to do, even if that's juts sit on my couch in my jammies and watch TV. (Oh, goody, "Du Hast" is on now, another good thrash-yourself-around song, even though Ramstein ruins it with the little wimpy synthesizer. Still, if it doesn't get you thrashing, you at least have to giggle at the imperious-sounding German guy.)

However, I would be remiss in my crabbiness (waith, that ain't right -- how about gratitude?) if I didn't shout out a YUUUUUUGE thanks to the Og family -- Og himself for changing my oil last night, and his lovely wife for letting me stay past normal visiting hours to get my stories done. Shooting may be in order very soon, my friend.
Posted by Broad2:10 PM • (0) Trackbacks
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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