Crazy Aunt finally went to see her today. She said it seems very much like she's learned some sort of lesson, but what that lesson is, Crazy Aunt doesn't know, because Nancy still doesn't understand what it is she did wrong; she thinks she was just defending herself. The problem I seem to be having here, meanwhile, is how to be empathetic and cool while telling her how badly she fucked up. That? ain't easy, especially when I'm guilty of enjoying the occasional unprescribed downer myself. Speaking of which, her drug test? They found benzo-whatever-the-family-of-pharmaceuticals-that-encompasses-Xanies-is, and she told her dad she and her friend took Klonopin. And I was like, "Wait ... what!?!?!? Klonopin!?!? Isn't that, like, trying to get high off Prozac or something? That's just retarded, man. Retarded and wrong."

Back to the drawing board. I want her to get it before she's potentially released next week.
Oh, whatEVER.

You are the the Hierophant card. The Hierophant,
called The Pope in some decks, is the preserver
of cultural traditions. After entering The
Emperor's society, The Hierophant teaches us
its wisdom. The Hierophant learns and teaches
our cultural traditions. The discoveries our
ancestors have made influence the present.
Without forces such as The Hierophant who are
able to interpret and communicate traditional
lore, each generation would have to begin to
learn anew. As a force that is concentrated on
our past and our culture, The Hierophant can
sometimes be stubborn and set in his ways. This
is a negative trait he shares with his zodiac
sign, Taurus. But like Taurus he is productive.
His traditional lore can provide a source of
inspiration for the creatively inclined, and
his knowledge provides an excellent foundation
for those who come into their own in the
business world. Image from: Morgan E.
Cauthers-Knox.
http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/loth/m/o/morganc/morganc.html

Which Tarot Card Are You?
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Oh, whatEVER.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins. 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid. 06. Held a tarantula. 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said 'I love you' and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights 16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby's diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run (Does kickball count?) 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job for all accounts 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them 66. Visited Japan 67. Benchpressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records cds/mp3s 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theater 80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (One word: "defenestration") 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn't have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 95. Gotten divorced 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live (Lollapalooza '91, man. Got the t-shirt to prove it.) 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read - and understood - your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. ...more than once? - More than thrice? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived. 140. Wrote articles for a large publication (uh ... duh) 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone's heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being 151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery (I had part of my cervix removed, and I was awake for it. Does that count?) 159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions (This is unfair. I haven't had a school reunion yet.) 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair (oh, PLEASE) 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested
Oh, whatEVER.

You're Brigitte Bardot!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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Oh, whatEVER.

So, the Nancy update -- as in "Sid and ..." since this situation channels those crazy kids moreso than the innocent star-crossed lovers shtick: She's in juvie for at least 3 weeks, complete with anger management and a drug test, which she'll no doubt fail (pot at least, but we suspect there's much harder things caught up in her hair, not the least of which could be meth. She's not tweaked out or anything, though, so if she's doing meth, it's a recent phenomena). Then, it's off to rehab for at least 60 days, taking her to shortly before the holidays. Then early next year, she turns 18, at which point there's probably not a whole lot Crazy Aunt can do to keep her away from her loser boyfriend. However, the loser boyfriend is about to head back to the pokey himself right quick, so that may not even be an issue by time she gets out. Crazy Aunt also plans to get the family the hell out of dodge before she's out, so even though she'll never be able to stop Nancy completely, it'll probably be much harder for Nancy to get in trouble. And anyways, if my Spidey sense is right, my guess is that her loser friends won't be so interested in her life that they'll be clamoring to see her -- particularly if she straightens up, but if she moves far enough out of town, too. After all, drug buddies are like that, right? I have to say, I'm still giving Crazy Aunt mad props, because she didn't back down. She said that Nancy was unresponsive and looked pretty pathetic, like she was ashamed of what she'd done (and she done dood it, too -- Crazy Aunt's got the lip to prove it), but again, my Spidey sense says she was probably just to numb and pissed to react. Not that there isn't some guilt swiming in her head, but I don't think she's ready to deal with it yet. There was some levity to the day, though. As I've mentioned before, because of my relationship with BFKAS and the Crones, the joke is that everything in the world is my fault, such as war, famine and global warming. Well, I posited that everything is no longer MY fault, but that of loser boyfriend's, so when one of the younger crazies went to get a pop, he dropped it. His response? "I dropped my pop, and it's all (loser boyfriend's) fault." I thought it was pretty funny, at any rate.
Oh, whatEVER.

I'm sure my concern over it comes from guilt, because I was an absolute cunt when I finally did pick her up. That being said, one of the things I'm retrying to learn (in a much less psychotic way) is expressing what I feel when I feel it, and if I'm pissed, it has to come out in some way. When I was in my early 20s? That would've been a glass of red cream soda flying across the room at someone. Not real productive, especially when it hit the computer in the newspaper office, but ... So, why not talk to Mother about how she drives me insane? Because we're both too old and too entrenched now to try to change the dynamic in any sort of meaningful way, and there are just some battles that you're better off not fighting. (Read: I beat my head against the concrete about too many other things to add that to the list.) Here, however, I pay for my bandwidth, so if I feel like saying my mother is a pain in the ass, I'm going to be honest, and if that offends some, the "Back" button is right there at the top. Use it and don't let my crappy attitude and foul mouth hit you on the ass as you go looking for dancing beavers or whatever the fuck bluemountain's spoonfeeding the mildly retarded these days.

Anyway, she's my mother, and I love her dearly despite our what I guess you would call "complicated" relationship -- you know, like 99.9999 percent of all mother-daughter relationships. No one says I have to like her all the time, though. And no one better not say I'm not entitled to have an ass-foul mood every so often, because that's just unrealistic.
Oh, whatEVER.