Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Monday, January 31, 2005
More memes on a Monday
I hate you so bad
you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Horked from the lovely Headcase, who better not give me shit for not pinging her, because I DID, thankyouverymuch.]
Posted by Broad1:45 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Snidge asked for it …
[Also seen at Headcase's and Joelle's]

1. 10 random consecutive tracks from iTunes:

Take Me Out -- Franz Ferdinand
Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe -- Whale
Big Brown Beaver -- Primus
Wonderland -- John Mayer
Mexican Radio -- Wall of Voodoo
Pussytown -- Machinegun Fellatio
Break It Down Again -- Tears for Fears
Silly Love Songs -- Wings
My Rival -- Steely Dan
Rebel Yell -- Billy Idol
Ain't No Sunshine -- Bill Withers
Come On Ride the Train -- Quad City DJs

2. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

A mere 477.8 MB, but remember, I just figured out how to use party shuffle, so I'm working on it.

3. The last CD you bought is:

Supertramp, Breakfast in America

4.What is the song you last listened to before this meme?

Theme from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

5. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.

In no particular order:
Just Another Nervous Wreck -- Supertramp
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic -- The Police
Last Goodbye -- Jeff Buckley
Why Georgia -- John Mayer
Turn it On Again -- Genesis

6. Who are you gonna pass this stick to: Kaffy, youse it. Oh, and Dix, you leave yours in the comments.
Posted by Broad2:45 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, January 28, 2005
Vicks is the new tweek
You know, it's really hard to be social when your nose is packed full of crap (and not the pleasure-inducing kind -- not that I'm in to that kind of thing, but ...). Hey, just sayin'.
Posted by Broad1:47 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Loves me some recognition, I do
Just got the loveliest call from one of my editors: I worked on a story yesterday about a woman who flipped out and tried to kill her neighbors as they protected her little boy from her, and I was able, after hitting the pavement in the neighborhood, to get a quote from one of the other neighbors attesting to the fact that the woman was fucked in the head right? Well, someone on the desk cut the whole quote out -- NOT because the story needed trimmage and it was at the end; bitch was line-edited right out. And she called me to tell me she's going to raise hell at the morning meeting "because (I) did good work."

That? Makes life worth living. Whee!
Posted by Broad2:05 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Dark days indeed
Back in my college days, I used to write a column called "Sayeth the Mighty One" (as in "The Mighty Quinn" -- yeah, we were pretty clever back in the day), and I wrote a column on abortion. And it was plum-full of references to middle-aged men making choices for us when they have no right to do so, but one of the things I tried to do was compare abortion to prostate cancer. I did this by saying that if there were an experimental drug that would cure prostate cancer, the male heads of guvmint would waste no time in passing it, but when it comes to women's health issues? Fuck that. (I'm paraphrasing, of course -- not by much, but I used to be a lot bigger a blowhard. A LOT.) It wasn't a great analogy, but then again, I'm not sure there is one.

This that I got this over at Mac's today is awful close, though. If you're a woman, you need to read it, and then you need to read it again. And again, and again until it sinks in this is what it's going to come to if we don't pay attention.
Posted by Broad6:46 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, January 24, 2005
Wow. This blows
I am going to die at 72. When are you? Click here to find out!
[Horked from Kaffy]
Posted by Broad10:44 PM • (2) Trackbacks
Drugs! Glorious drugs!
Just called the ol' PAP, and it seems my meds were sent out Jan. 17. So I? Should be back and medicated proper by tomorrow! Praise Jeebus. However, would somebody please tell me why, when I go on about something that pisses me off, some jackass thinks it's Ok to ask, "Are you out of your meds again!?!?" What the hell? I take them to keep me out from under the kitchen table with a joystick and a tin foil hat, not because of fucking anger management. They do not wipe out my ability to have an opinion, nor do they prevent me from going off about said opinion from time to time, even if I normally choose to not be a raving loon (100 percent of the time). Fer Chrissake.

Crazy Aunt set me off this time by defending the freakin' BFKAS. See, apparently and without rehashing the whole conversation she and I had, the past can't be changed, and if everyone's to make a new start, we (meaning I) can't keep rehashing it, lest I become bitter and no one will want to be around me anymore. And since BFKAS's idea of letting the past go means not acknowledging it ever happened in the first place ... well, that's the way it is.

Ok, sure, I can appreciate that my little snide comments might be tiresome, especially if her highness isn't throwing them back, which CA swears she's not. And yeah, I know what Dr. Phil says about forgiveness; I've got the books. It just irritates me to hear this when I know that when BFKAS pisses CA off again -- and she will, because she always has -- it'll be perfectly Ok to slag on her again.

But in happier news, besides my meds coming, my inaugural free subscrition of Allure, courtesy of Tara, came in today, and I loves me some beauty mags. Woo.
Posted by Broad11:31 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Well, THAT’S something I guess I won’t be trying again
I was trying to be blunt in a sexy kind of way, but I clearly blew it, because if you have to ask, then I must not be doing it right.

That doesn't hurt the ego. Much.
Posted by Broad3:45 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, January 20, 2005
At least I ain’t the only dweller in this bitch
Get this shit: Cousin the Rich One calls me this morning at 9:15 and starts out with something about she didn't buy everyone at the party a gift and wonkwonkwonkwoooooon ... (I stopped listening at that point, because I wasn't sure if it was going to a be a "Let's-bury-the-hatchet-that-doesn't-necessarily-need-to-be-buried-in-the-first-place-because-this-was-all-blown-waaaaaaay-out-of-proportion" type message, and I didn't feel like dealing with that as I was getting out of bed in the morning if it wasn't).

Good thing I didn't, because according to Mother, she called her right before she called me, complaining about how she told her husband about it finally and he was FURIOUS at me and how it was her party and if she had known that spending so little money on a gift for Mother was going to cause this wonkwonkwonkwoooooon ...

If you think I took the opportunity to remind Mother how badly she stuck it up my ass, you would be right.*

But if I deigned this conversation to be worthy of pursuit with her -- and I don't -- here's my question: If you're sooooo sure you're right -- and you ALWAYS ARE, you know -- why are you just getting around to unloading!?!? My guess? She asked someone, and whoever told her she was wrong, so now she's all, "oh HELL NO!" Nevertheless, it happened in December -- get the hell over it. I did, and I'm the one that was pissed in the first place.
Posted by Broad9:23 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Not a good way to pick up dudes
Do you suppose it's a bad thing that a story I wrote on a sex offender program has now been posted on a sex offender bulletin board!?!?! WITH MY E-MAIL ATTACHED!?!?!?

Just curious.
Posted by Broad8:12 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Lovely way to start off the birthday season
Because he's cool like dat, my oil and wiper blades were changed free-of-charge as a late Christmas/early birthday gift courtesy of Og. But the even better thing? Og showed me a thing that got me posted on SCREENHEAD, YO! SCREENHEAD! You know, the site where my super-seekrit boyfriend dong works? Don't believe me? Lookit.

(Notice the way dong referred to me by my God-given name. Oh. yeah. He wants me.)
Posted by Broad9:32 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, January 17, 2005
Name that tune
Horked from mikey, I've always wanted to try this one: I've given you a line of lyrics from 10 songs randomly party shuffled on my computer. See how many you name.

1. I have no where to go/I don't know what to do/I don't know the time of day/ I guess it doesn't matter anyway.
2. Score one more for me/I forget momma said, "Think before speaking."
3. But there's someone who's torn it apart/And he's taken just all that I have.
4. But now the scales have fallen and I can really see/And I say "Go to hell" because that's where you took me.
5. So I'm sitting in a bar in Guadalajara/In walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes.
6. There's a time when every girl learns to use her head/Tears will be saved 'til they're better spent.
7. Kiss me, please kiss me/Kiss me out of desire, not consolation.
8. It's perfection and grace/It's the smile on my face.
9. Sell all the living/For we're all safer dead.
10. Well you step inside, but you don't see too many faces/Coming out of the rain, you hear the jazz go down.

Answer in the comments, por favor. Oh, and that would be artist AND title.

[UPDATE 1/18: If there were Bozo buttons to give, Myllissann would be the winner; she got the most right. So, without further ado, the answers:]
Posted by Broad11:14 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Republic of Deh
EWK is so good to me: Last night, he fixed us a toona noona with -- how scintillating! -- artichoke hearts and a dollop of sour cream mixed in for good measure, and then we hunkered down and watched Desperate Housewives and Boston Legal. Yum yum.

So, I've spent the better part of the weekend trying to mull over how I was going to tell y'all about this, but I've been rather uninspired and, more to the point, embarassed; in fact, I've already been taken to task by EWK and Tara over the whole deal. But what's that thing they say about recovery? The first step is admitting your shit? Horror after the jump:
Posted by Broad3:16 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, January 15, 2005
The love of my life
Karl's visit and other things
The Rube,
originally uploaded by Region Broad.
This is what I found as I was walking out the door to get to my assignment today. Kinda not hard to see why it's hard for me to work sometimes, yes?

And I get to make out* with him on a regular basis. I know you wish you were me.

*When I say make out, I mean he sits in my lap or cuddles in the crook of my arm and licks my face. Nothing weird about it, you big pervs.

Posted by Broad6:45 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Breathing a bit easier
Now that Snidge is safely tucked away at an undisclosed location for the weekend, I'm confident in letting y'all know that she seems to have gotten over the drama into which she got sucked (and not in a good way). Not that she -- or anyone, for that matter -- won't be welcome any time she -- or anyone -- needs to vent but can't do it at their own crib because of the neighbors. I'm just saying all's good in the 'hood for now. In fact, y'all can catch me over at her crib at some point this weekend, because she's having guests fill in while she's boogieoogieoogie-ing her way through her mini vaykay.

In the meantime, you know how I was bitching about this douchenozzle the other day? Following is the deal:
Posted by Broad1:40 AM • (0) Trackbacks
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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