Hey, everybody! Guess who landed in jail on a prior felony theft warrant after she was busted driving on a suspended license with a dude carrying a nonpermitted gun stolen from Texas!?? Anyone?

Awwww, c'mon now. This is easy!

Yeah. Crazy Aunt called me tonight with the news. Imagine my surprise (yawn). So I called the detective to let him know what's what. We'll see if anything happens.

So tonight before covering a muni meeting, the Gary Bureau editor called and asked if I wanted to cover the NAACP's annual dinner, with Dick Gregory as its keynote speaker. Well, the editor gave me the wrong time for the event -- he said it started at 6 when it really started at 7 -- so I didn't get to hear his speech. I did accost him while he was heading to the can "to go pee" (his words), though, and he made some interesting points about landowners in the states hit by the hurricane. Whoever they are, how're they going to prove they own the land when all the paperwork and/or computer archives have been effectively destroyed? And because of that, who's to say that the gubmintbig business isn't going to go on a massive land grab? Not that I necessarily think something like that is going to happen, but it certainly could, and I guess it wouldn't surprise me if it did. Anyway, about the time we ended our chat, the group was singing the Black National Anthem, and so we stood arm-in-arm and swayed as they sang.

I stood arm-in-arm with a major celebrity. How you like me now?

Then I ran into this idiot on my way out of the casino. He was going in to gamble because apparently, he's gotten off the sauce again.

Lessee, what, if anything, is there to tell y'all about what's going on up in Chez Broad lately? I mean, since I haven't written a real post in eleventy billion years?

Well.

Hmph.

Seriously, there's notta lotta going on these days. I was excited to find a pair of jeans AND a pair of pants that actually fit at Old Navy today (necessities, not splurges, believe me) ... got my hair cut and redyed on Saturday ... found that I have F/X in my cable package and can now watch Nip/Tuck when it isn't directly competing with Boston Legal -- oooo! ooooo! Did y'all see my actor boyfriend on The View this morning? You know, when he was talking about how a man needs to find out what his woman needs in the sack and then set the mood for her? Yum yum yum.

See? Nothing really going on.

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Jessica Simpson

Flirty, feminine, and fun.

[Ganked from who else]

Once again, I'm going to ride on my homegirl's coattails for her stellar job of describing the Saturday main event. But since I promised photographic evidence, here t'is:

or at least as clean as it's going to be with me doing all the cleaning by myself today for the imminent arrival of der Snidgen. You might recall, this is Bus demolition weekend, so some of the gang be representin' at the Speedway tomorrow night, followed by the afterparty at JB's granparents' cottage in the dunes. Pictures will be forthcoming*.

My little Kate's all grown up.

Congratulations, youse two! Lots of joy and love!

At my meeting tonight, I was talking to one of my sources, a guy that I see once every couple months, if that. And as we were talking, he says

I think I love him.

In other news, one of my ex-boyfriends is getting indicted for embezzlement. I'm so proud.

and spouted off about this again?

Eeeeeeyeah. Another one of my not finer moments.

This is an open apology to the Moxie women; I was entirely wrong to say they had anything to do with anything. And based on what I know now about shit? They never did. Christ. And no, I'm not trying to curry favor or anything. I'm just saying I was wrong and I'm sorry.

Carry on.

If she hasn't already posted it, Snidge is in the process of preparing the long, sordid tale of why she and I don't have our new skins.

Yep, more big, scary blogdrama, y'all -- but hopefully, it's the end of this particular drama for real this time. No, seriously! I swear!

I'm going to let her lay the foundation, because 1) she's the one who finally came out swinging, and 2) the whole ordeal just astounds me, especially since I'd considered Christina a friend. Maybe not in the way I love these fine homies, but the potential was there. Instead, she used our burgeoning friendship to get out of any urgency I might've had about wanting my new skin, and then, when the price of poker went up (to use my favorite Dr. Phil phrase), she made it personal, and that's when it all went from frustration to unadulterated ugly. 0-60, just like that.

Yes, I know there are quite a few people who have had skins done by her, and they're gorgeous. This has nothing to do with her talent, and it sure as hell has nothing to do with the rest of the group, because the rest of them were more than willing to do what they could to avert the trainwreck. But this is the way she did business with Snidge and me. If you want to take your chances, have at it -- I can't stop you. I'll just say that there are a million other designers out there who're just as good if not better, and with them, you'll have a better chance of actually GETTING your stuff without getting ignored outright or lied to.

The good news in all of this -- because there's always good news, you know -- is that I'm going to be Headcase's first skin-uea pig. We've got a theme and everything, so I'm gazzed, man. It's going to be fun. And not a violation of major copyright laws.

So youda thunk there'd have been more goons during the first round of AI auditions, but in a sea of 10,000+, there was only one that I physically saw: a dude who showed up in a Dorothy costume with a blonde Pippi Longstocking wig, a 5:00 shadow and combat boots. He compared his look and tactic to that of William Hung, and I was like, "All right there, pal. You go," when I was really thinking, "Yeah, but see, the difference between you and William Hung is that he was at least sincere. You, on the other hand, are a fucking fruitbat." Nevertheless, if you see a dude in a Dorothy costume with a blonde Pippi Longstocking wig, a 5:00 shadow and combat boots during the initial AI shows, you'll know I met him and that he's an insincere, fucking fruitbat. Otherwise, there was a chick who channeled her inner Tina Turner -- right down to the crazy hair and a white fringed mini dress -- that everyone seemed be amused by. Here I thought the whole point of AI was to be original, at least while you could before they suck your soul out of your assholemake you into a STAR, but what do I know, right!?? Anyway, although I'm sure there was a dearth of colossally bad singers, I didn't hear 'em. Wish there was more to tell, Mac. I keep trying to publish the story, but I seem to be having trouble with my extended entry.

Wonder how that happened? Because I wasn't having trouble with it Friday. Curious.

Today was the cool stuff, however; I covered IndiaFest, which I was totally hoping I would because everyone there is super nice and would give me the world if I were allowed to take it (reporter's rules and shit). So they had me volunteer for the sari-wrapping deomnstration, right? Yeah, they ended up GIVING me the sari to keep. It's freaking GOR-jus, a light brown with gold trim and black fringe with a black petticoat. I'm SO going to find an excuse to wear it. Pictures tomorrow (if I can figure out what the hell's wrong with my MT.)

Oh, and yeah, I would be remiss in not mentioning that I hooked up and had a lovely time with him, his lovely wife and another friend at OktoberFest downtown Friday evening after I finished with the AI stuff. I also came to the realization that 1) I'm getting too old for that thing they call distance walking, and 2) I've become a total slob since I left Chicago. Going to have to work on that a bit.

but I need to jump in the shower, lest I fall victim to freakin' tetanus from walking in puddles near port-o-cans.

Very, VERY long day.

I'm covering the freakin' AI tryouts at Soldier Field tomorrow, and my ride is picking me up at 5. a.m.

I'd rather poke my own eyes out.

Copy this entire list into your blog/journal. Bold everything that is true about you; leave alone anything that is false about you; or place an asterisk by anything that you would like to be true about you. I have had sex while wearing a blindfold. I have blindfolded someone during sex. I have had sex while watching porn. I have had sex while surfing porn on the internet.(... with MYSELF.) I sleep better after sex. There are some nights when I can�t sleep without sex or masturbating. The bed is Not my favorite place to have sex. I get turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate. I have masturbated for someone over a webcam. I have had sex over a webcam. I will have sex with someone I just met if he/she turns me on. I have been tied up during sex. I have had sex with someone who was tied up. I have dripped hot wax on a lover�s body. I have had a lover drip hot wax on my body. I have a foot fetish. I have a leather fetish. I have a tickle fetish. I like being choked during sex. (I have a friend who swears by this.) I have had sex in a burning building. I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence. I enjoy nudie magazines. (Especially during that one time in college, when we were reading the Penthouse Forum out loud. That was cool.] Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget. (Shutup, you.) I think Playboy is tame, maybe even boring. I have clicked on porn links in my email. I know the difference between girl/girl and lesbian sex in porn. I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn film. Much of what I know about sex comes from porn. Interracial sex turns me on. (Not moreso than any other, anyway.) I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex. (What's to understand? Seriously.) I would participate in sex research if given the opportunity. My current lover does not meet my sexual needs. (Yeeeeah. Like I'd go THERE in public ever if that were true.) I currently have a crush on someone of the same sex. I have had sex at my place of employment. (Who HASN'T?) I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships. Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac. I am difficult to live with if I�m not having sex on a regular basis. (Name me someone who isn't.) I sleep better with someone curled up next to me. I have had sex underwater. I have had sex in the snow. I am in a polyamorous relationship. (Um ... next question) I have to have like music playing during sex. I have had more than 10 orgasms in one night.* I have flashed strangers. (Does having sex in the school parking lot with the rent-a-cops watching count?) I have given sex as a gift. (Every night of sex with me is a gift. What are YOU talking about?) I have set-up a three-way for my lover. I stopped during this list to have sex.

[Horked from Pants de la Maison]

Do you know why? Two words:

COMEDY. CHANNEL.

That is all.

You know, formerly of Soul Coughing? Listen to him here at his myspace profile: Lookit. Good stuff.

In other news, our local Humane Society just brought in 16 dogs and pups from Mississippi -- all healthy and whole, but with skin conditions from being in the Katrina soup. I of course get to cover it. Must remember that I canNOT have puppies in my crib ...Must remember that I canNOT have puppies in my crib ...Must remember that I canNOT have puppies in my crib ...