Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Friday, November 24, 2006
What’s left of it, anyway

Happy Thanksgiving, yo.

Posted by Broad3:13 AM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Step awaaay from the glowing box, wackos

First, Snidgey has her nightmare, and now, someone’s gotten a hold of Mer’s passwords and started sending people she knows retarded e-mails. (Actually, it happened 10 days or so ago for her.)

Is Mercury out of retrograde yet? Because jeeez.

Posted by Broad10:14 PM
Saturday, November 18, 2006

Any of y’all who’ve been by Snidge’s lately may have noticed that you’re getting a 404.

That’s not an error, folks. I’m afraid that my dear friend has decided to go silent ... no, wait, that’s not entirely accurate. Let me be frank: The short version is, Snidge pulled her blog because of crazy pussy. Normally, crazy pussy is something we laugh about, because it’s funny in a tragic sort of way to watch grown women resort to subterfuge and all manners of bizarre behavior to get a man/job/whatever it is she wants. (And, as a recovering crazy pussy myself, it’s practically law for me to look and laugh, much like an alcoholic reminisces about past benders.) The long version of the story, however, has Snidgey afraid for her son’s and her well-being, and for that reason, I’m not going to repeat it here.

I will say this, though—and since I know the woman behind it is checking in on me now as well, I’ll direct my observations with her in mind: She needs to give it a rest. Not because it’s the right thing to do; that goes without saying. But I’ve been watching this whole thing unfold since she started it, and I gotta tell y’all, I’ve never seen such a sloppy campaign in my life. Seriously, it’s embarassing. True, she did have a couple interesting tech touches, so Ok, credit where it’s due and so on and so forth. But all the tech in the world isn’t going to help if you can’t keep your damn mouth shut. THAT only gets you busted, which she now has been (and y’all can take that however you like).

Outside of visiting the blogs she frequents, I doubt Snidge will be back online ever, and that’s a shame; aside from being one of my closest friends, she’s a voice I admire and got a lot out of, as I’m sure many of y’all did. Yeah, she and I call each other 12, 15 times a day, but you know what they say about the written word and its profound effects and stuff.

And you? You’re a two-bit hack. Don’t quit your day job.

Posted by Broad7:55 AM
Friday, November 17, 2006
Getting kinda good at this Corel Draw stuff

Below is the latest myspace add I created for BtL today; it took only a half hour this time. No, I’m not giving up my day job, but I think it’s kinda funny.

Posted by Broad11:59 PM
Not the kind I was hoping for

If someone’s stalking one of my girls on the Innerbunny, and then they come to my site, too, would y’all take that to mean that I’m getting stalked by default? Maybe osmosis?

Please say “Yes,” because I could have a LOT of fun with that. PleaseopleaseoPLEASE!

Posted by Broad2:37 AM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
You want women? I’ll GIVE you women

(Mothupi, left, and Marshoff, right)

I normally try not to post pictures of myself above the fold (so I’d appreciate y’all not staring at my massive double chin and cheesy, nerded-out smile), but I had to show you who’s now become my favorite VIP meeting ever, even surpassing Jesse Jackson Sr. and Roger Clyne. Surrounding me in this shot taken in the parking lot of my college alma mater are Frances Beatrice Marshoff and Gertrude Mothupi, the Premier of Free State, South Africa and the Executive Mayor of Mangaung. The two were here with a delegation from Free State that’s seeking to drum up business in the United States, and they stopped at the school for a reception and tour.

See those women there? You are looking at two of the most fearless, intelligent women I’ve ever met in my life, emphasis on FEARLESS; not only are they government leaders, but they’re WOMEN who’re government leaders 12 years after a centuries-old belief system was dismantled. Think about that for a sec—12 years after apartheid was abolished, there are women running parts of the country. After the 15th amendment, how long did it take for a woman to get into any sort of power position here? (That’s kinda rhetorical, but if you know the answer, feel free.) (UPDATE: Leave it to Kaffy to actually tell me: Lookit)

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that it’s a wonderous thing to see women who command such respect.

Posted by Broad12:10 AM
Monday, November 13, 2006
I can never tell what I sound like

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: Philadelphia

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak!  If you’re not from Philadelphia, then you’re from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington.  if you’ve ever journeyed to some far off place where people don’t know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn’t have a clue what accent it was they heard.

The Midland
The South
The Inland North
The Northeast
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

[Ganked from Ogger]
Posted by Broad7:11 AM
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Muffins

I’ve added another pretend celebrity boyfriend to my menagerie, and his name is Liam. Observe:


Add to My Profile | More Videos

Discover more about him @ here.

Posted by Broad5:56 PM
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I got a better way to spend my ‘mo’

Now, if I could just find a cho to po:


Thanks, SJ!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Poppy, on her 15th (!) month of pregnancy
You know, someone should write a book about ignorant, unsolicited advice that people give you during pregnancy. That and a guide to public bathrooms. Someone would pay money for that.

[NOTE: Pops has not actually been pregnant for 15 months. She IS, however, 10 days overdue. And ready to kill someone.]
Posted by Broad3:39 PM
Brit, K-Fed splitsville

and it’s all Karl Rove’s fault.

Posted by Broad12:38 AM
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Assignment vignettes from the last few days (also, my 12th level of Hell)

Tonight’s assignment: 300 screaming elementary kids watching a Steve Irwin-wannabe handle animals indigenous to the rain forest. I was waiting for the alligator with the rubber bands (!!) roped around its mouth to just go apeshit and start munching on the little twerps for touching it, but apparently, they’re cool with the touching, according to the guy. Since reptiles aren’t real bright on the evolutionary scale, it doesn’t occur to them to get all indignant about being poked and prodded; in fact, they kinda dig the heat, being reptilian and all. The bigger the brain, the bigger the propensity for wanting people to back the hell off and STOP. TOUCHING.

Who knew?

And did you also know that snakes don’t crush their food, but suffocate it? They wait for the poor bastard to exhale, and then they squeeze them, essentially cutting off their air supply. There you go.

Zoological lessons aside, that assignment wasn’t nearly as interesting as one I had last week. One of our local campuses hosts two of Great Britain’s young master debaters (DERRRR NARF!) and teams them up with two of its students in a parliamentary-style tag-team. The point of discussion: “This house belives the war on terrorism cannot be won.”

I covered this event last year, and the topic debated had to do with truth in advertising or something equally innocuous, so I was intrigued that the professor chose a topic for which the majority of the audience had their minds made up (and you’re not going to convince me of that otherwise). But what I would’ve liked to have seen debated? “This house has evidence that people who live outside of the United States are better versed in everything in the universe than its own natives,” because make no mistake, y’all: The Britons wiped their limey butts with the college kids. Seriously. Yeah, I understand that these were the No. 1 ranked orators for 2005 and 2006. Do you know what one of OUR geniuses did? After they heard one of the Britons mention the Irish Republican Army in reference to terrorism, they said—and I quote: “Take, for example, the IRA, who wants to take over the world ...” My “D’OH!” was audible.

We’re not a bright bunch here in NWI.

Posted by Broad5:47 AM
Monday, November 06, 2006
More about TV

Any of y’all watch Flip This House? Did you see tonight’s where Armando buys this house that should be leveled but then takes his vacation and leaves his brother David (who I LOVE) to pick up the pieces? And he’s all cocky and shit? Seriously, what a dick.

Posted by Broad4:47 AM
Friday, November 03, 2006
Looking at my stats

for the first two days of this month, and not a one of my referrers is a legitimate site. So, like, do all y’all come from pr0n sites?

Posted by Broad4:43 AM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

/> Wanna make a bunch of money doing what you're doing right now?

Hey Webmasters! - Make $$$
The Affiliates Program is a great way to make money with your website. All you have to do is place links on your site to When your site visitors click on your links and make purchases at, you earn 25%-30% of the sale. Sign up today!

Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

powered by
EE Core

script assistance by

hosted by

This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


<< chicago blogs >>

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Support Bloggers' Rights!
Support Bloggers' Rights!