So Anthony won Shear Genius, beating our intrepid hero by thatmuch, and I have to say, I’m kinda feeling meh about it. I suspected as much when, as I was doing some research for the story I wrote about it today, I noticed Anthony was pictured with Vidal Sassoon doing haircuts for Sassoon’s charity and no one else was, but I was as unsure as anyone and really kinda thought Daisy had it in the bag. Sure, Anthony was good overall, but I think Ben rose to the final challenge beautifully.

Of course, I’ve turned into this total spazz because I know a bonafide D-lister. I swear, I must’ve thrown his name around a thousand times since getting addicted to the show as if knowing him makes me cooler somehow. “Ben this!” and “Ben that!”  

MADE THE TOP THREE ON SHEAR GENIUS!!! HUZZAH, HUZZAH!

You know, I really don’t give a flying fart who’s doing it—the war, the conservatives, the liberals, the Al-Quesadillas, Big Oil, whatever. You CAN STOP ANY TIME NOW.

Seems like whatever got into Mr. Allen’s wheaties over the weekend has either infected mine, or mine have infected his, or SOMEthing, because I gots me some Neenernet drama, and on freakin’ MYSPACE, no less.

Oh YEAH.

Even better is it’s not even MY drama; it’s Mer’s. See, she works with these crazy people who’ve never left Brooklyn—not even for, like, a Six Flags vacation in Sandusky, for God’s sake—so because she’s well traveled and not indigenous to the island, she’s suspect. To WHAT is anyone’s guess with these nutjobs, but she is. Anyway, so these people WERE constantly watching her Myspace page, but since she put it on private, they’re now watching MY page. Why? Because in order to practice my Serbian, she leaves me retarded little messages that have nothing to do with anything. But these people think we’re talking about them.



And once again, these are all people over 30.

One of them is freaked out by my existence, even though I live some 700+ miles away from Brooklyn. Nope, never met the woman in my life, but she seems to think I’m capable of all sorts of hooliganism. Apparently, I have nothing better to do.

Here’s something from my pal Mr. Allen that carries some poignancy in today’s times:

Remember the OJ thing where he [allegedly] murdered his ex and her friend?  You know, the thing where he’d [allegedly] show up at Nicole’s house, [allegedly] threaten her, [allegedly] stalk her, and try to seem like a great guy to everyone in his inner circle?

I believe the facts of the case are he is accused of stalking Nicole, accused of stalking her friends and being just a general dick to her friends and family, and then we all know what he did after that.

There are things you should just let go, like someone making fun of some stupid shit you’ve done, or someone saying to another, unrelated party, that you’re a jerk or an ass or whatever applies.

Like, what if OJ actually followed someone into a grocery store and threaten them in front of say, oh, I don’t know, 5 confirmed witnesses?  He probably just hasn’t thought out his shit very much, has he?  I mean, surely he’d never have been captured on some sort of video doing what he’d probably deny ever doing should his wife somehow find out what he’s done, right?  He’s not that stupid is he?

You’d think a rational, mature adult would know that’s how you’re supposed to act.

You’d think ...

Yo.

Hats off to P-T reporter Piet Levy: A story he wrote on a lousy con man who bilked people out of a lot of money—Lookit—has gotten him a death threat:

Indiana State Police are investigating threats con man David Sroge allegedly made against a Post-Tribune reporter who exposed his history of theft, fraud and home repair scams.

Sroge, 50, attempted to recruit a gang member to kill a local police officer, a Lake County judge and reporter Piet Levy, state police detective Rick Bonesteel said Thursday.

“Normally we don’t comment on these types of investigations. But since a Post-Tribune employee was one of the targets, we contacted the newspaper,” Bonesteel said.

Sroge’s attorney Richard Maroc refused to comment on the police probe.

His client’s criminal record was documented in an investigative report in the Post-Tribune on Sunday.

Three days later, Sroge was arrested on a new felony theft charge. He is being held without bond at the Lake County Jail.

The Munster businessman will remain in jail until May 22 when Magistrate Kathleen Sullivan is scheduled to hold a hearing to decide if Sroge returns to a state work-release program or remains behind bars.

Before his arrest Wednesday, Sroge was serving time at the Kimbrough Work Program, a state work-release center in Crown Point.

My first cold since maybe last year, and I get it from a 5-month old. I can’t kill a 5-month old!

Anybody got a long-handled spork so I can stop the infernal itching in my head!??

From my morning journalism newsletter:

The Scripps Howard News Service has, over the last month, been probing how veterans are compensated for injuries and illnesses. In the process of plowing through the databases, Scripps learned something nobody expected—that since the 1970s, possibly thousands of veterans have received millions of dollars in disability checks for venereal diseases they got while in military service. For example, the story tells about a Columbia, S.C., veteran who served from 1955 to 1958 and said he had caught gonorrhea about 10 times during and after his service, which caused arthritis in his left knee. A VA appeals board in 2005 evaluated him as 20-percent disabled and, therefore, eligible for about $200 a month. The Scripps story explains:

Scores of veterans across the country are getting lifetime checks from the government for gonorrhea, genital herpes and other venereal diseases they caught while in the ranks.

The disability payments are made under a little-known provision from three decades ago that entitles vets to monthly benefits for sexually transmitted diseases they contracted, or simply aggravated, while in the service—even if they became infected on their own time years ago.

Under the rule Congress created at the end of the Vietnam War, even genital warts are considered a “service-connected” condition entitling a vet to the same $100 or more a month for the rest of his or her life that those who suffer wounds or battle injuries can receive.

This enrages some veterans of combat in Iraq, particularly those who have had to battle the backlogged Department of Veterans Affairs bureaucracy to be deemed worthy of benefits for clearly war-related disabilities. For them, the fact that the VA’s resources and taxpayers’ wallets are being tapped for such claims is hard to stomach.

“It’s a crock,” said Jerry Yarbrough, a former volunteer fire fighter in Gibson County, Tenn., who suffered major systemic damage from heatstroke as an Army fueling specialist in the early days of the Iraq invasion and continues to fight for full benefits now that he’s “a virtual prisoner in my own home.”

The number of veterans getting benefits for sexually transmitted diseases is unclear. Repeated requests to the Department of Veterans Affairs for that information went unanswered.

But a review by Scripps Howard News Service of more than 60,000 cases under the purview of the VA’s Veterans Benefits Administration reveals that there likely have been thousands of vets since 1972 who, collectively, have drawn millions of dollars in payments for conditions they readily acknowledge came from illicit sexual activity.

Here’s what the rest of Indiana chose for our new plates next year:



 

I realize that what I’m about to do is the nerdiest thing ever and will likely get me banned from ever commenting again, but y’all, I made the Gold Star Motel at Gawker!: Lookit

... jewelry-polishing cloth that I paid a butt-ton of money for? I just had the damn thing out, like, two weeks ago to shine up one of my necklaces, and now I want to do a big giant ring I have because they’re all the rage right now.

Dammit.