So, talked to Mer the other night (who, because of the current ass-expensive flying prices won’t be coming to visit over her spring break but still plans to make an appearance before summer’s out) and we start talking about the possibility of me going to visit her in Israel after she moves out there. I tell her what, are you kidding? Israel’s on my top 5 list of places to visit before I shuffle off the mortal coil—of COURSE I want to come out, except the IRS butt-raped me and stole my seed money, so I don’t know when that’s going to happen. So SHE says, “You know, as a journalist don’t you want to visit me? I mean, this is the highlight of journalism! We can hang out at the American Colony Hotel where aaaaaaaallllllllllllllll the journalists hang out. Then you can write a juicy story. Listen, if money is the only factor I’ll have a lot of it. Would you come if I spotted you the ticket?”
After wiping the drool off my chin, I tell her well YEAH, but I have no idea when I’d be able to pay you back, so then, bless her heart, she says, “I’m not asking you to pay me back. Dude, it’s 38,000 in my pocket. No rent, nothing. Tax free. (She’s taking a sabbatical from teaching so will be getting paid by both.) But would you come is the question—some people are ‘afraid!’ “ And I was like, “Sheeeeee-it! I told Randy Kapers he’d go blind if he kept masturbating in 8th grade History Class. Who YOU callin’ ‘scared?’ ”
And so, at the end of September, I’ll be spending Yom Kippur in Tel Aviv. How’s THAT for a fuckin’ vaykay!?? I’m so excited, I can’t even STAND it! But in the meantime, I will be spending the afternoon in good company at the Cubs game. 10-6, babies! It’s a good start!
Pee-pee Dance of Joy
Mother’s first two tests: Completely and utterly devoid of ANY.THING. No cancer, no ulcers, no NOTHIN’. Now, the duodenum is still narrow, which COULD mean there’s something on the outside obstructing it, but the doctor was confident enough to allow us to reschedule the colonoscopy for Feb. 13th, plus when we were there a week ago, he pressed on her lower gut and it didn’t feel hard or like there was anything out of the ordinary (and with as skinny as she is—89.8 pounds as of this morning—you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be able to feel something if it were there).
More later. Right now, I’m going to work and then to pass out.
Now, if I could just find a cho to po:
Thanks, SJ!
when you check your voicemail, and the last message you get is a little voice saying:
That word is “Squeeeeeeeeeeee!”
So the detailer guy calls me back today and tells me—get this—that even though Pimp (which, if it isn’t clear to y’all, is my car’s sanctioned nickname, as it has many secrets and doesn’t want to be identified by my tens of adoring fans) drives perfectly fine, the two inches of remaining standing water in it has the potential to ignite the electrical nonsense underneath the carpet. And I thought to myself, “Huh. That might’ve been helpful yesterday, when I was driving around the wasteland that is now my town identifying for the paper as many of the flooded areas as I could; they were the ones identified by cones set up by the Public Works Department to deter dumbasses from commanding their own U-boats.” Oh, and because the water not only got under the carpet, but was most likely sewer water to boot (ew), the detail is going to be waaaaaaay over the deductible; the whole interior is going to have to be completely removed and the padding completely replaced, and that’s before the mechanic gives it the once-over to make sure there’s no electrical damage.
But don’t cry for me, because lo! the detailer, he did redeem himself, as he secured for me a brand spankin’ new, 7-miles-off-the-lot, 2007 Corolla as my rental car for the next two weeks while Pimp detoxes. And? He did it at the cost my insurance would cover. And? The new Corolla is a HONEY of a car, with sweet pickup and smooth handling. Makes me really kind of want one NOW instead of in 16 years, when I’ll finally have Pimp paid off and will have likely driven him into the ground. Though, I’m not dissin’ on my car, because if it survived almost-submersion in Lake Woeisme without serious damage, it has to be a hearty vehicle worthy of respect. In any event, Farm Bureau’s getting its money first when I get paid tomorrow.
Speaking of respect, it seems that there are people out there who evidently either didn’t read my missive a month ago about why I blog and the rules to which I adhere when doing so, or they did but have no reading comprehension whatsoever, so Ima post a link to it again so those who need to can go back and read it, but more slowly this time, thanks:
Lookit.
If that isn’t clear enough, then I don’t know else what to say, except to not get yourself worked up by coming here. It’s really not healthy and makes you look kind of sad.
Could this Chicagoland area weather be any nicer than it was this weekend?
Before I go into my holiday weekend and how glorious it actually was, how ‘bout that nip/tuck season opener? Alotta questions here, folks—first up, is Christian gay? A tough one, considering what Brooke Shields (aka Dr. Wolper) threw out in their first session about him being in love with Sean and Sean acting like a jealous wife for most of the episode, but based on that info alone, I got the impression that maybe Sean has some repression for Christian. HowEVER, the character writeups on the show’s official site reveal that later in the season, Christian gets it on in the shower with none other than
A.C. Slater, everyone! All riiiiiiiiiight!
Been up since freakin’ 6 ayem this morning to cover an informational picket out in Porter County, so I kinda got nothin’ tonight. But his gives me a chance to post more pictures from the gig, these being of the newlywedded Mr. and Mrs. Opie, aka the cutest couple in the universe (and remember, you heard it hear hear heer HERE first) (See? I’m so tired I can’t even spell.):
Waiting for Mother while she had her semi-annual doctor check-up, I was totally rockin’ out with the ol’ iPod, and have you ever had that thing where you think you know the lyrics to a song that you’ve heard a zillion times on the radio, only to find out that you really didn’t and wow! that’s a really good song? I had that moment today with “Brian Wilson” by the Barenaked Ladies. And it’s not like I haven’t heard the song a zillion times; I do have their excellent first album, Gordon. But I guess having ear pods crammed in your ears and blasting the music straight into your brain puts a whole new perspective on things, because that’s a really good song. It did occur to me, however, that BNL does sing a lot about mental health. As proof, I give you the lyrics to “Brian Wilson,” because I’m sure you didn’t actually listen to them and commit them to memory long before I did:
My heart is a-twitter with anticipation. Oh, the hijinks we will have. And the alcohol we will drink.
That nightmare, of course, meant that I caught only about two songs of our intrepid heroes' set, but what I heard -- "Life in the Fast Lane" and a U2 song my muddled brain can't remember at the moment -- done did us proud. As I told Lenny last night (Lenny being the sole original member left of BtL), he's finally got a group together that reigns him in and is serious about playing music and not just the whole rockstar aspect. Good stuff. The guys also made sure I had access to the VIP area since I didn't get a VIP bracelet which, love them.
Steely Dan, meanwhile, played none of their new stuff, only the best of the best: They started with "Bhodisattva" then right into "Time Out of Mind," my favoritist Steely Dan song EVER. I was in heaven. Michael McDonald was even good, though he did only his well-know stuff from the Doobies. Eh. And dude's got some white, white hair. But I got the cutest concert shirt; just hope it fits.
Steely Dan!
My head just exploded.
LOLLAPALOOZA
I'm likely going to be the oldest person there, but I don't care. It's going to be righteous.
Like I told y'all yesterday, I really didn't have high hopes for the money I spent; I was waiting to be thoroughly whapped over the head with whatever rhetoric Madonna's selling these days or whatever. (Not that I don't agree with her, but sticking it all in a pointy bra doesn't really resonate, ya dig.) But she was just amazing -- looked great, sounded great, danced great, the whole package. And the lighting and images were divine. If you can, pay the money and go see her when she comes to town.
As added icing, BFKAS, B-Dubs and I had a really good time, though I must admit it was more than a little disconcerting to hear my 56 year-old birth mother singing "Like a Virgin." Yes, I know she would've been only 35 when the song came out (to my 15). Doesn't matter.
100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.
Give it to me, baby.
Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...
The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:
/> Wanna make a bunch of money doing what you're doing right now?
Hey Webmasters! - Make $$$
The AllPosters.com Affiliates Program is a great way to make money with your website. All you have to do is place links on your site to AllPosters.com. When your site visitors click on your links and make purchases at AllPosters.com, you earn 25%-30% of the sale. Sign up today!
Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].
Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].
Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving? The frigging church. My church and my mom’s… ...[go].
Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know. I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].
Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment! I have… ...[go].
- June 2013
- October 2012
- June 2012
- April 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- August 2010
- May 2010
- March 2010
- January 2010
- September 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
- December 2004
- November 2004
- October 2004
- September 2004
- August 2004
- July 2004
- June 2004
- May 2004
- April 2004
- March 2004
- February 2004
EE Core
script assistance by
scriptygoddess
hosted by
wiredhub
This explains that large bit of type at the top.
Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.
<< chicago blogs >>
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
online