Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death


Sunday, November 06, 2005
Have y’all tried that new stuff by Downy?
The fabric softener that smells like vanilla and lavender? Ohmigod, I'm in LOVE. Don't know how soft it makes my clothes, but it smells really good.

In the meantime, I should've realized the low-grade headache I had in my face the other day was a sign of things to come; my throat's sore and I'm sneezing like crazy. Crap. Because I needed to get some sort of creeping crud.

And for the curious, TOG is in fact alive and well, as is his libido, of which I REALLY hope to be taking advantage soonest ...
Posted by Broad11:19 PM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The elephants are coming
Someone in the paper either really hated me today, or else they decided to feed my sick sense of humor, because guess what my assignment is?

The first-ever Republican fucking convention in NWI.

You better beLIEVE I'm going during lunchtime so I can snag a good meal.
Posted by Broad1:54 PM
Friday, September 16, 2005
This ought to be good
I'm covering the freakin' AI tryouts at Soldier Field tomorrow, and my ride is picking me up at 5. a.m.

I'd rather poke my own eyes out.
Posted by Broad1:47 AM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Got the verdict from the IRS yesterday. The good news? I don't owe them the $700+ they figured I would if I didn't provide them with the other stuff they needed.

The bad news is that after providing them the stuff they needed, I owe them $395, or approximately half.


No, it's not a ton of money, and it's not $700+, so I should be relieved, of course. Except right now, I don't have money for my plates which are now past due, I've got creditors calling me 15, 20 times a day for these little niggling bills that I haven't had the money to pay off, and I need to scrape up the $25 I owe my doctor's office so I won't feel like a total dick asking him for free Cipro because I've been pissing fire for the past two weeks (yeah, Ok, too much info, and no, I have NOT contracted anything creepy; it's a run-of-the-mill UTI, is all, but it still hurts like a whore). And yeah, I'm acutely aware that my shit could be eleventy billion times worse like the people down south, so don't go there with me. I'm just frustrated.

Speaking of the hurricane, I started writing a post about it Friday night, but then I scratched it because it was a lot of blowhard ranting. Truth is, as much as I would love to blame Shrub and will still do out of principle, after talking with a Red Cross coordinator for the story I worked on yesterday, I'm not sure he can be blamed entirely. Yeah, Katrina is considered a Category 6 disaster, which I'm told requires the Fed to get involved from the get-go. And yeah, FEMA has been dismantled terribly, etc. etc. But the thing is, until the water receded, no one was getting in there at all. For example, the Astrodome wasn't flooded, but everything around it was. Also, why didn't Nagin force those people out? Well, he can't force anyone to do anything, naturally, but the coordinator was telling me that there was talk that they were going to go around and have people sign waivers saying that if they weren't going to leave, then the waiver would be used to identify their bodies. That never happened, so whether it would've done any good, I don't know. I do know that we should probably wait to play the blame game until after things are reasonably calm, though.
Posted by Broad2:22 PM
Monday, July 11, 2005
Tiiiiiiiin RIM … busted
Yeah, so the front passenger tire that had broken belts in it? Blew on the highway Friday night. (No, no catastrophic explosion or anything, just a car that couldn't pick up speed.) Well, that's not bad part. The bad part is, the rim that I thought could be pounded back into shape is literally torn apart where I hit the pothole (and thus breaking the bands in the first place), so now, the garage has to find me a new rim.


Granted, my disaster isn't quite the magnitude of hers, but still ...
Posted by Broad8:04 PM
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Bit o’ housekeeping
You might've noticed that the awesomely fabulous eyeball skin created for me by the awesomely fabulous Christina has mysteriously disappeared. Well, nothing mysterious about it: Some twatconcerned party with a hard-onconcerns toward the Bonafide girls ratted on us contacted the author about Snidgey's and my sites, and he asked us to take them down, which is fine, because neither of us asked him permission, and we should've. Still, I really dug that skin. But Chrissytina is going to whip me up another little sum'in sum'in, so look forward to that soon.
Posted by Broad4:59 PM
Friday, June 24, 2005
It's fucking 95 out there with, like, a heat index of eleventy billion degrees. I mean, if I'm wearing shorts? You KNOW it's bad, because I'm wearing shorts with my big ol' sallow yellow turkey legs.

Posted by Broad7:25 PM
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Knew it couldn’t last
The extreme sleepiness, the scratchy throat, the bloody sputum I hacked from my throat this morning, the welling up with tears during Griffith High School's rendition of "The Incredibles"* at commencement last night? Oh. Yeah. It's a fucking sinus infection, and I'm getting it as I need to be cleaning the crib and preparing for the lovely Snidge's arrival next weekend. And here, I was all excited that I'd gotten through most of the winter without succumbing to some mucous-laden travesty. Son of a bitch, man.
Posted by Broad2:00 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, May 09, 2005
Another butt-crack of dawn assignment …
This time, at a local hospital for a surgical procedure. Should be interesting.

Back later.
Posted by Broad9:34 AM
Friday, March 11, 2005
Good news, everyone …
I found the shirt I'm going to wear tomorrow night. Even better? It still fits without making me look like a freaking sausage. Highlights the boobs, plus it'll look great with jeans and my Frye boots. (I was thinking about breaking out the Manolos for this, but it's going to be ass cold and snowing again, plus this is down-home rock.)

However, my house is still not straight, I still have laundry to do, AND I have a story I need to work on. On very little sleep. Weh.
Posted by Broad3:38 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I’m going back to bed
But what better way to spend your time whenyou feel like you've been hit by a bus than Blacklisting family members?
Posted by Broad10:03 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, January 28, 2005
Vicks is the new tweek
You know, it's really hard to be social when your nose is packed full of crap (and not the pleasure-inducing kind -- not that I'm in to that kind of thing, but ...). Hey, just sayin'.
Posted by Broad1:47 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Waaah! I’m only 51 percent!
I'm going to have to work on this.
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Wait a second, isn't "Fuali" the name of that kid Mary Kay Letourneau nailed?
Posted by Broad2:26 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Drowning in a sea of something
The most fucked-up thing to me about the tsunami disaster? For some reason, don't ask me what, I've always equated tsunamis with hurricanes and ominous, horrifying skies. So I'm watching shots of it last night on Nightline, and everything's sunny and happy and whoa! Holy shit! That's a gi-normous wave! Eating the coast! In the sunshine! That ain't right.

So, my day turned out less crappy as it trudged on yesterday: I did talk to my one editor later and everything seems to be all right, and another editor was kind enough to let me include the two stories I worked on yesterday in my woefully pathetic requisition for this pay period so I won't starve. After all, it's a slow time of year. (Digression: Star Jonesreynolds just told Jessica Simpson that her voice is "on point." I'm not sure why I want to stick a fork in my ear more -- because she said "Your voice is ON POINT" or the fact that she's lying and blowing sunshine up Simpson's ass because I can't STAND her mush-mouthed voice. Shudder). The other stuff? Well, lemme tell you a story:
Posted by Broad2:23 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, December 27, 2004
Fucking day
What a shitty day, man -- first I get my ass handed to me by one of my editors (not that it wasn't uncalled for, exactly, but what unnerves me is she hasn't called me back after I apologized), and then Greta calls me to tell me that she's pretty sure she's losing her job tomorrow. And that's not all, but I'm in the midst of two stories, so I'll let y'all in on the rest later.

The only things that have saved this day are the fact that I'm just about to polish off my Hickory Farms Cajun Beef Stick and the following, which I wrote about a certain official who keeps doing really bad things in the town of Schererville:
Posted by Broad6:02 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 2 of 5 pages  <  1 2 3 4 >  Last »
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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