I don't think I've ever described Laura to y'all, but she's a freakin' knockout, no matter what she says: a cross between Cindy Crawford and Carly Simon, to be exact, only shorter and 8-3/4 pregnant. Now, before Laura married and spawned (she and her husband already have a beautiful little girl), she was basically boobs on a stick -- not grossly huge, but she was thin, making her look more chesty. Then Sarah came, and apparently the little one liked the right boob better than the other, because now? Laura's left one is freakishly large. No. Seriously. Most women already have the asymmetrical thing going -- myself included -- but this almost isn't to be believed. So she and I were talking today about how she's all ready to go on The Swan about this. She's even got the story all down about how her freakishly assymmetrical boobs have affected her marriage and how she would have her husband call and say, "Don't you call here until those things are the same size."

No, she wouldn't REALLY do it, but it would be funnier than hell if she did.
Oh, whatEVER.