Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
No asses were popped with caps

So Mother was supposed to hunker down at Chez Broad after the storm last week, right? It was against every sane bone in my body, but she’s my mother, so one makes sacrifices. Anyway, she arrives, and I tell her that she can crash in my room since I have a queen and I’m used to crashing on the couch. Well, she can’t crash in there because my boys will want to sleep in there with her, she said, even though you can SHUT my door to keep them out and really? They might pester her, but they sleep with their momma (aka me). Okaaaaaaaay, so I hand her a sheet and make up the couch for her, and she sits down while I go over to my D-List celebrity BFF’s so his lovely woman can teach me to prune my own head when it gets too unwieldy.

I get back to the crib, and Mother tells me that I need to take her to my uncle’s because she’s going to spend the night there. Annoyed, I ask why, and she tells me that my eldest was harassing her. “I told you he hangs out on the back of the couch and he’ll leave you alone if you leave him alone,” I reminded her once again. But then no sooner did I walk out of the can when I looked, and there was Rube crouched on the cushion with his paws on her pillow, looking at her like, “Yeah? What’re you going to do, old crazy lady?” I guess he did that to her several times while I was gone, and she freaked out.

Hey, worked for me.

Posted by Broad6:29 AM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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