When I was born, I inhertited quite a few things from my biological family, among them a big ass and legs, as well as a distinctive nose, smirk and shoe fetish. The one I didn't get, however, was the "permanent tan gene," which means that since I was, oh, 18, I've had that Eastern European yellow color but no ability to make it golden in the summer. (Which is why I keep my hair some shade of red -- makes me look less sallow). So every year, I attempt to remedy the situation with some form of sunless tanning lotion, and that lasts about a week or two before I completely screw it up and go back to my pasty sallowness. (Plus, sunless tanning looks really disgusting as it fades on someone with my skin tone.)

Well, it looks like I may have it down this year. Coppertone's Endless Summer in Fair/Medium has given me a fairly natural-looking hue without making me smell like ass. Granted, it's been so long that I've actually had a real tan, I don't exactly know what color it's really supposed to be, but still. I do need to clean it up a bit on my ankles, but I FINALLY got it perfect on my hands for once. Oh, and my chest and neck looks pretty good, too. I hope my sister appreciates the effort I'm putting in to looking better than she will, because this is a pain in the ass.