So I've been kinda quiet with the feeeeeelings and shit lately, mostly because we're coming up on that time again, and it's just not a good time for the obvious reason. Also? I've been worried about money much more than I usually am. I mean, we know I don't make a lot doing what I do, and that's fine, but I'm not usually THIS broke. It's like, I've started having dreams involving car repossession and shit, and I've NEVER had dreams like that before. Decapitation, yeah (not my own, oddly enough -- used to dream about Dad being decapitated when I was really young, and then Mike, my 21 year-old boyfriend when I was 15. And they weren't, like, getting decapitated or anything; with my dad, his head was dangling on a string from the light in the kitchen, and Mike was in my bedroom without his head), but never money.

Anyway, DtR was supposed to have gotten his "divorce settlement" (snerk), so you'd think he'd want to pay me the $550 he still owes me, which would take care of just about all the niggling little bills, but that would mean he would have had to get divorced in the first place, which we know hasn't happened. As if THAT weren't bad enough, you know how he was uber-coming on to me a week or two ago? Well, now that I kind of indulged him*, he goes all silent. I'm sorry, but excuse me, who the fuck does he think he is!?! This isn't college when I was despondent and on the rebound.

So, how am I going to combat this awful feeling? By changing my hair tomorrow. Don't know how yet, but I told EWK that I need to be shocked.