Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Thursday, June 09, 2005
No apologies
So of course now that I've decided I'll deal with DtR, I don't hear from him today at all.

I didn't have time to go through the whole exchange between us yesterday, but basically, he said he wanted to make amends and that he's become a different person and so on and so forth, and that while his recollection of the figure he owed me was different, he wasn't necessarily going to argue with me. So I asked "What's the catch?" because you KNOW there's always a catch within everything we do whether we want to admit it or not, but he swears there isn't one. Even gives me his cell digits and says I can post them wherever I want if I don't believe him (which leads ME to believe he's found ol' Chez Broad here, and that's ... fine, I guess, but the digits do pan out). I write back and tell him that he'd gotten my attention and that I wasn't about to wreak havoc with his wife and family because, as we all know, I have enough crap at any given time without having a hostile wife killing my buzz. And then today, I told him the rest of the week was problematic so could we perhaps do it next week at some point. That's where it's been left. Now, of course it's only been one day and there are a million legitimate reasons why he may not have responded, but I don't trust him.

And see, that's kind of the problem, here. It's like, I get forgiveness and have a rather large capacity for it, as some of y'all know, but I'm having a time with this one. I mean, like I said, this goes way beyond the stupid shit you deal with after you break up with someone when you're in your early 20s. There was abuse, both emotional and physical, although I'm still loathe to even call the latter "abuse" because when it happened, I honestly didn't realize that's what it was until I found out months later that he attempted the same thing on a friend of mine he was trying to bed, except she was strong enough to fend him off. (THERE'S an interesting one for all you analyzers out there. Emotional abuse is beautiful bitch, ain't it?) And believe you me, I realize I don't have to do a DAMN thing if I don't want to, and won't. It's just a really hard thing for me to get my head around.

Besides, I've already thought about all the things I need to do with the money, and if that's yanked out from under me, I'm going to be sorely pissed. Not surprised in any way, shape or form, but pissed.
Posted by Broad1:43 AM • (0) Trackbacks
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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