below’s the picture I promised of me with my hair blown completely straight. I’ll never be able to get it this pretty again.

(Yes, hair God EWK and I have parted ways, but it was an amicable parting. And yes, I AM being intentionally cheesy in this shot.)

and roll back the date on this entry*, but it’s not like we hadn’t already determined that I was going to puss out. And after being up ass-early yesterday, it was an early night. Just for that, you’ll get two entries today—maybe even one with substance! Ooooooooo! And a picture of my hair, which the lovely Ann of Dynamite Hair fame (and my D-list celebrity BFF’s FIANCE, wooooo!) colored my bastard grays and blew it out completely straight.

and it was a strange one: Republicans getting a stronghold where you’d never think they would, and vice versa. Everybody’s especially freaked out that Gayle Van Sessen of Crown Point got beat by Democrat Dave Uran. Not that Uran wasn’t a good candidate, but Crown Point is seriously GOP. I blame outgoing mayor Dan Klein for that; if he hadn’t run such a dirty campaign during the primary, perhaps he wouldn’t have besmirched the Republicans’ good name so badly. But, as always, what do I know?

Tomorrow, I get to have breakfast with the Guvnr of our fair state. At the ass-crack of dawn. I’m sure I’ll be a joy to be around.

And the episode that’s on now? The dude, Ricky, is from NWI because they showed him and his derelict pals ripping off DVDs from Southlake Mall. He’s definitely from Porter County, and his school was the Indians, so I wonder where he’s from.

that I’m not going to make it through a whole 30 days of posting? Well, I signed up for it anyway, because I’m a sheep who has constant need for approval. Also, I coded the Nabloyomama button correctly, so I’ll take that as a sign.

Oh yeah, another thing: Some of you have noticed that I’ve been keeping comments open less and less. You would be right—that’s because the spammer nazis bombard my shit with their shit every chance they get. So, in order to keep them at bay, I’m now leaving stuff opened for about a day or two. Sorry, but they suck.

You know what I can’t discuss without wanting to get completely stabby on a bitch? Herpes. That’s right: herpes. Oral, genital, wrestler, zoster, shingles, you name it, and it will not fail that I’m going to want to kill someone. Know why? Because there are too many people who’re still completely retarded about it. Yes, I know it sucks. Yes, I know it can be very, very painful for some people. Yes, I know that people shouldn’t actively pursue getting it, and I know that infected people have a sworn duty to tell their partners that they’re infected (preferably beFORE sex ever transpires). But Jeezy Creezy, could y’all stop treating it like your sexual innards are going to fall out your bodies if you even get near someone with it!?? Because they won’t. Seriously.

And another thing while I’m on a tirade: Guys (and gals too), if you break up with someone, it does NOT become the dumpee’s responsibility to enforce the breakup. It’s YOURS, because the DUMPEE does not want to break up in the first place and therefore may allow you to take advantage of their feelings, which may be great for you and your sub-par ego but really sucks for them and also makes you a giant unworthy ASS. So I don’t want to hear “Well, I TOLD him (or her) that it was over, but they wouldn’t listen. What was I supposed to do?” Once you put it down, don’t pick it back up. ‘k!??


[No, I’m actually in a very FINE mood; work’s been busy, I’m kinda sorta interested in someone, I’ve been shopping ... aside from Mother, things are really good. I’m just spouting off about some things that stick in my craw, is all. And reading a LOT of Jezebel, which you should be, too, if you’re not.]

who thinks Forrest Gump is cloying and trite? So not impressed with this movie, though Gary Sinise? So hot.

who was not aware of the brilliance that is Squidbillies?



Early Cuyler is my new boyfriend.

Commentary after the fold, and special thanks to P-T vet Karen Snelling, who called all the brass and spent like an hour working on the rewrite with me; and photog Steph Dowell, who I’ve never seen rattled before yesterday. As always, emphasis mine in the story.

The parents of two Gary teenagers who died in an one-vehicle crash Saturday say their sons were left along a dark road for six hours because police refused to listen to two others who survived the accident.

Brandon Smith lost control of the truck he was driving and swerved across Chase Street into the southbound lanes, crashing through the metal fencing along the bridge and flipping numerous times before it landed in a vegetated area next to the road around 3 a.m. Saturday.

Smith and one of three passengers, Dominique Green, were thrown from the vehicle, according to relatives.

One of two remaining passengers managed to crawl out of the wrecked truck and get help. After police arrived, Darius Moore and DeAndre Anderson, both 18, were taken to the Methodist Hospital in Gary.

While en route the boys told police and emergency workers that two of their friends—Brandon and Dominique --were still at the crash site, said Darren Smith, a Gary firefighter and Brandon’s uncle.

“They kept telling them there were four, and the officer, J. Westerfield, told them, ‘We checked the scene,’ “ he said.

Brandon’s father, Arthur “Bud” Smith, became worried after not hearing from his son all night. So, he and Brandon’s mother, Samantha Epps, called friends’ parents to find him. They heard about the crash and that Moore and Anderson had been rushed to area hospitals, but nothing about their son.

Darren Smith said he and his brother, Bud, went to the scene of the accident after his shift at the fire department ended. Shortly after 9 a.m., the two men found Brandon’s body and that of his friend, Dominique, next to a tree about 10 to 15 feet from where the truck landed.

Six hours had passed since the crash.

Investigators from the Lake County coroner’s office were called to the site at 9:27 a.m. Both 18-year-olds had suffered blunt force injuries and were pronounced dead at the scene, a spokesman for the coroner’s office said.

Gary Police Department Cmdr. Samuel Roberts said the officer who responded to the accident did not deviate from departmental procedures.

He could not explain why the two teens were left along the roadside.

“I don’t know if the officer was told there were four people in the vehicle or if the occupant said he had dropped off the other people,” Roberts said. “Right now, what I do know is that the police department responded and an accident report was taken,” Roberts said.

But the police commander said he had not read the report as of late Saturday and did not know the details of the accident.

Darren Smith wants to know why the fire department was not called to the scene of his nephew’s accident as it is for most other crashes. Smith also wants to know why police did not locate his nephew when Brandon and Dominique were lying so close the truck.

“A search consists of flood lights and fire equipment, and when we’re not on a scene, that means it wasn’t dispatched,” he said. “We respond to fender benders.

“All they needed was a flashlight to find them, but no lights, and that’s a search? Come on, man. That’s pathetic.”

Brandon’s mother, Epps, wants to know why Brandon’s father and uncle had to be the ones to find her son and his friend. She paced the scene as classmates and onlookers congregated along Chase Street, her emotions whipping between anger and despair.

“It should’ve never taken the father to find them,” Epps said, struggling to hold back tears. “Any other questions I have, that’s between me and God.”

LaTrice Long, Brandon’s cousin, wants to know why emergency workers didn’t listen to the surviving boys.

Anderson told police he and three others were involved in the accident,” Long said. “How could anyone ignore that?”

Mayor Rudy Clay, who walked in the Gary Back-to-School Parade on Saturday morning, stopped by the crash scene to offer condolences. He referred all inquiries to Gary Police Chief Thomas Houston.

Bud Smith remembered his son as “the perfect kid.”

“He played basketball last year,” he said. “These were school buddies, and he wasn’t involved in anything bad. He was just a normal 18-year-old kid.”

Long said Brandon always had a smile on his face and was close to their giant family, especially Epps and his brothers, Roderick Denham and Tyler Smith.

“You know how boys sometimes only talk to their dads? Not Brandon. He always told his mother everything because he wanted her point of view,” she said.

Dangerous drive

The road the two died on has a reputation for being bumpy and causing crashes. In December 2002, a Hobart teen was killed while “riding the bumps” driving on Chase Street. In September 2004, a Gary man was saved by medics and passersby from a crash on Chase that sent his car upside down in the Little Calumet River.

that I can rock a headband kinda righteously, I would’ve spent a lot less time bitching about my hair when it was ass-hot and humid last month. Guess you learn something new every day.

Ok, it’s really late, and I’m still kinda drunk and freaked out at tonight’s turn of events, but guys? The title says it all, and I’m a little stunned at my cheekiness, but ... yeah. Wow. Yikes, even.

Had to put the smackdown on an idiot over at my new favoritist Gawker Media creation: Lookit.

I mean, seriously. It boggles the mind.

Mother called this morning in Defcon 5 panic because after the wicked storm we had last night, the power’s out in much of the town, and she has no air conditioning. She’s now staying at Chez Broad.

Please send either help or extra prayers that I don’t end up popping a cap in this woman’s ass.

and miserable about a boy, so I could use some positive reinforcement, por favor.

Could someone explain to me why Star Jones had to “come clean” about the fact that she had gastric bypass? Like, no one could figure out that with the amount of weight she lost, that’s what “medical intervention” meant? I mean, right?

Had some broadband issues this week so I couldn’t fill y’all in about BUS DEMOLITION! weekend, but as always, it was a great time; only thing that bummed me out worth talking about is that my D-List celebrity BFF and his entourage never found us. But one daring soul in our group, Will, actually signed up to race in the amateur turn—until his roommate, Jeff, discovered that the car Will would be racing was HIS 2006 PORSCHE. Yeah, that got nixed pretty quickly, but it certainly would’ve been the classiest vehicle to ever have set foot on the track had it gone down. They made it from Boys Town to the track in 30 minutes, so there was no one that was going to beat that—not even the factory Mustang that took the win.  The afterparty, meanwhile, was 20+ strong, so even though the JB family compound is massive and set up like a barracks upstairs, that was still a lot of people. I swear, JB and his fam are the best hosts ever, and I can’t say it enough: It was so nice to be among people who appreciate and value my contributions to their universe. I don’t get that nearly as much as I should.

But! Things might be changing on that front, because you’ll never guess what Mother did! Ready? She signed up for Meals on Wheels ALL BY HERSELF! Without me even suggesting it! I KNOW! You have no idea how exciting this is for me; that’s least three days out of the week where I don’t have to worry about whether she’s got something to eat. [BACKSTORY: Because she doesn’t drive, one of the ways Mother makes sure to have human interaction is not having a lot of food in the house so that people will take her out. This is dangerous because a) she’s diabetic, and b) when her depression isn’t under control, she doesn’t eat and has dropped to 90 pounds more than once.] Even better, she did it before her shrink switched up her meds. So now, she’s getting back on track (at least for the moment; we have to see whether the new one works, but so far, she’s sleeping at night) AND took a step to be self-sufficient. I may just get me a life yet.