Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Alone again … thank GOD
Did I tell y'all that Cousin Nancy and her boyfriend had been crashing at Chez Broad since Tuesday night? Yeah, some huge drama involving her boyfriend's brother going to jail for stealing Nancy's wallet and a whole bunch of other stuff, and the boyfriend's mother got all pissed off at Nancy for having him put in jail, so she kicked them out, so on and so forth. Anyway, so they were here, and I have to say, they were perfectly lovely guests. And the new boyfriend is totally in love with Nancy and treats her like a queen, but I must admit that I'm a little concerned that Nancy, who has inherited her mother's temper to the letter, may end up stomping him into submission. More importanttly, though, I just want the two of them to get their heads out of their asses and a) finish school (Nancy) and b) get the hell out of dodge, because neither has a real stable homelife, and they need to get somewhere away from all the crap.
Posted by Broad6:15 AM
Saturday, July 30, 2005
In the interest of clarity …
TOG is NOT the sociopath to which I referred. I mean, we might be upset with each other, but he isn't capable -- nor would he or could he ever be -- of the type of crazy I was talking about.

You know, in case y'all were wondering.

That is all.
Posted by Broad7:46 AM
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
How’d they know?
Posted by Broad6:13 PM
I’m guessing no one’s going to disagree
You Are 50% Weird
Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!


[Horked from the lovely Snidget]
Posted by Broad9:42 AM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Caught in the game, caught in the gaaaaa-aame
You know what I think? I think there are entirely too many people in this world who underestimate me.
Posted by Broad3:55 PM
Monday, July 25, 2005
Where was I?
I need a new bathroom.

No no, the condition is fine; I've just had the same shower curtain and accessories ever since I moved in, and even though they're cool, I want something different. I added a bunch to my wish list, so if you see anything you like, buy it for me. Heh.

So back to the whole introspection business, Poppy and I waxed philosophical by the pool yesterday, wondering how it was that her former beau (whose Sims name, incidentally, is Seth Cotis, who we've come to learn is a YOOGE icon out there on the Interbunny) got to where he did. We always knew he was a brittle diabetic, and we also knew that he didn't take care of himself like he should've, especially when it came to the drink. Always the life of the party, that one, but often at the expense of himself, clearly. Anyway, we got to talking about what would've happened if they'd have stayed together or even if he'd have ended up with someone else without his partying proclivities -- would he have slowed down? Would he have accepted his illness and taken better care of himself? You know, like the Gwenyth Paltrow movie with the glass doors: How would one different move, one different phrase, one different thought change the landscape? Is the universe predetermined or free will? Personally, I'm of the opinion that we all have the free will to do whatever and then the universe takes care of the rest exactly how it's supposed to be. Don't know if there's a fancy name for the philosophy, but there you go.

Anyone else have a thought about this?
Posted by Broad8:30 PM
I know, I know. But Dogdamn it …
So.

Guess who's decided she's not coming back from Kansas City? No, seriously. You get three, and the first two don't count.

When I told her about it, she said I sounded surprised, and I s'pose on one hand, I am, if for nothing else than because she's leaving behind a four year-old daughter. Otherwise, she's worthless, and the family's better off without her.

Meanwhile, the ol' Butterball must have some heavy dream-inducing qualities -- or else I'm just hornier than hell -- because check out THIS dream from this morning: The part that I remember picks up during a party where I'm apparently back together with DtR, and we're both wearing lime green shirts and black pants (in respective gender type, of course, but still, ew, matching). So then, fast forward to the, um, group scene (ahem) with me, DtR and ANOTHER former ex and his ex-wife involving a strap-0n (!?), and then me and him lying in my bed in my old room at my parents house (NO, nothing weird was going on), when ANOTHER ex walks into the room with a magazine and points out a classified ad that hinted around at my involvement in the group scene. At the bottom of the ad was the e-mail and IP for yet ANOTHER ex. And? I was worried that Mother was going to find out about it.
Posted by Broad8:04 AM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Wanna be my best friend forever?
Then buy me a buttload of Butterball Bath Bombs.

Oh.

My.

GOD.

I spent the day over at Poppy's folks' pool, and I decided to use it to get the chlorine smell off. It is truly the best thing since sliced bread; with my dry skin, I'm now all good-smelling, soft and sikky smoooooooove.

Now, if only a certain someone would get over shit so we could enjoy this ...
Posted by Broad7:29 PM
“Indiana is, like, Illinois’s duty-free shop.”
Last night and today have been a bit introspective for me since talking to Poppy last night, who called to tell me her ex-boyfriend of, like, 10 years ago died from diabetes-related complications; he was 35.

Before I get into it, though, lemme just tell you how AWEsome Bus demolition is: FREAKing. And the buses weren't even the best part; the best part is the TRAILER demolition, where the drivers hitch various items, such as campers, boats, motorcycles or effigies, to their cars and race around the track until they start smashing into each other. It's fucking great. And is if THAT weren't awesome enough, try viewing it with JB and his bunch of drunk, rowdy, Chicago-Irish knuckleheads (who, btw, were freaking HOT ... SNIDGE). In fact, for the race in September, a bunch of JB's Bellwood Firemen friends are getting a bus together, and he and I are going to try to talk our publisher into letting the Post sponsor it and then put slogans like "Pastrick for Prez in 2008" and "Stiglich Knew" on it. For that race, we're DEFINITELY going back to JB & Fam's cottage for the afterparty. ("We got 75 cases of BEER, man!") Oh, WE'LL help you drink it, all right ...

And now, back to our regular whining ...
Posted by Broad9:21 AM
Friday, July 22, 2005
More victories for the taking
Is there nothing more gratifying than seeing your ex-boyfriend from college -- the boyfriend who cheated on you constantly yet freaked the hell out whenever you got a li'l sum'in on the side; the one who gave you crabs and never told you but accused you of giving him a recurring STD -- all squinty and bloated and driving a navy blue minivan? I don't think there is. I rather enjoyed it, in fact.

Ok, since I haven't made it much of a secret anymore (plus the fact that Crackhead's mom/my aunt already knows and is all for it), here's the deal: The detective called me Wednesday to let me know that he had talked to my uncle, who proceeded to tell him that just that morning, six squads surrounded and searched his crib looking for Crackhead. Why? Because she has a warrant out on her for skipping court -- quite possibly Fed, because she was supposed to be a federal witness against a doctor-cum-candy man who was dishing out the Xanies, Vikes and Somas like Charlie. But whatever, my uncle told the detective that it has been nothing but sheer hell for him and his family since Crackhead started on this shit and that he's had enough. So Saturday night when he goes to pick her up from the airport? It's do not pass go, do not collect $200 for ol' Crackhead; he's taking her straight to the pokey and turning her in. And I have no doubt that he'll do it, too. He still contends that he saw her around the time that I called them that night and is going to make a statement to that effect, but the detective thinks that he's more than likely just confused about the time.

At any rate, the detective is going to pay her a little visit when she's settled in the pokey and approach her with the "Ok, look, you're already in here, why don't you just get it out in the open and make life easier for yourself?" tack. I mean, at this point, I just want to hear her say she did it, fuck everything else. The likelihood of that is slim to none, but you know, her ass is going to be in JAIL, so it could happen.

In the meantime, guess where I'm going tonight? No idea? I be doin' the bus demolition at the Sppedway tonight. Pictures at 11 (or whenever I get back.)
Posted by Broad8:55 AM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
She gone to Kansas City/Kansas City, here she come
That's where Crackhead is this week. With her boyfriend. Flew out there on Monday -- you know, the day she was supposed to go talk to the detective.

I told my girl over at Bitchbook that if she has any wild drug busts at her place of employ to tell Crackhead I said "Hi!" Whore*.

[UPDATE: Talked to the detective tonight, and he talked to my uncle. I was going to tell y'all the news, but since it hasn't happened yet, let's just say something is fixin' to, and it could possibly be good for my case. I fill y'all in when it happens.]
Posted by Broad1:17 PM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Hi-ho, hi-ho
It's off to audit I go (at 1 p.m.)...

Wish me luck, yo. I'll let y'all know how it goes when it's done
Posted by Broad6:43 AM
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Showdown drama at the RB latrine
Wake up this morning and head to can for my bladder's morning constitutional when my oldest jumps up on my lap for his morning cuddle. We settle in, and the little guy saunters up an starts swatting at his brother's tail. Well, Rube wasn't having any of that, so he jumps down between my feet to find the Ween hunkered down, neck extended and staring. That puts Rube on the defensive, so the two of them glared at each other for what must have seemed like an eternity when finally, the great trucemaker arrived:
Posted by Broad5:08 AM
Friday, July 15, 2005
Well done, Yinglybert Slappedyback and Fishy Bob
[NOTE TO OGGER: Ze tire, it is done.]

Spent time at casa del Wad this eve, where we scarfed down Lincoln's carryout (a local chain that has the best sandwich-y type grub, and for cheap cheap cheap), drank beer and then trekked to the video game place for games that could possibly eliminate SoW's Godzilla obsession and Target for plants (for HIM, not me), then came back to scarf down Oreos and watch "Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill," of which I NEVER get tired. My God, the facial expressions! I was laughing hysterically, and Wad was like, "What is your problem?" Then he passed out asleep and I came home. The end.

As we were traipsing through Target looking at plants (and wireless phone connectors for me -- $60, man! The hell?), I filled him in on the rest of the great TOG debacle.
Posted by Broad8:45 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Can I just tell you …
how much I love the cable guy? Not only did he give me a new modem so my broadband won't act retarded, but he fixed my Thunderbird so that I can now receive message from both my accounts! Wheeee! Life as we know it is soooooo much easier! (And yes, darling, I know I could make folders in Webmail, but I have a system! A system, I tell you! And it's all fixed! Wheeeee! No more merely longing to hear Homestar Runner deliver my "eee-maaaaaaaaail!")

So tonight, I covered the Gary Centennial kick-off party at the Genesis Center, and you know, I always think that I should probably dress like a grown-up to these things, but I never do and end up feeling like a big schmuck. Tonight's ensemble? My PDP shirt, cropped jeans and Birks. No no, no drooling, por favor. I'm sure you could've handled the hotness. But anyway, nothing like getting called out in front of eleventy billion people by the Mayor of Gary when you look like you've just got done gardening. Hope that doesn't make the cable show. (He was making sure the Post was there.)
Posted by Broad8:23 PM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

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