Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Monday, February 28, 2005
Holdin’ back the years
I know I ask this a lot, but is it just me, or is Hootie the star of the new Burger King Chicken Bacon Cheddar Ranch commercial!? You know, "Where the breasts they grow on treeeees ..."!?! Seriously, listen to it and look at him -- I swear it's Hootie, and oh! how the mighty have fallen, because that commercial is about as fucked-up as they come. Whoa.

Anyway, here's a little thing about Dad, since I haven't talked about him lately: Yesterday was Dad's sister's and brother-in-law's 50th (!) wedding anniversary, and Mother and I went to the festivities. Other than it being a completely charming affair, which it was, I got to see their wedding album and discovered that Dad stood up to their wedding. He couldn't have been more than 25 or so if he was even close to that, and there he was, all tall and jug-eared in a black tux. And the hair! Ohmigod, he had a full head of black hair that wasn't cut in a flat top, exactly, but it wasn't a ducktail, either. Almost didn't recognize him; then again, I never knew him when he was that young. It was nice to see, though.
Posted by Broad6:24 PM • (0) Trackbacks
1st and 59th
1st and 59th
1st and 59th,
originally uploaded by Region Broad.
Leaving to feed my one editor's cats as she's traipsing around in Mexico this week, I go to my mail box and find a giant, puffy envelope sitting atop it. It's from my pal Sammy, the one who lives in Cleveland now, and inside is my belated birthday present: two copies of a picture I took during my first trip to NYC in 2000, one of which she turned B&W and framed. I'd asked her for a copy awhile back (the three of us who went each took a bazillion photos each and made a set for the others) because I have yet to replace my copies of that trip.

Anyway, the picture was taken right after we landed in the city and parked the car for the weekend. We were staying in an apartment on E. 59th Ave., and the bridge was the first thing that caught my eye. That trip is still my favoritist trip to anywhere, ever. God, I love that picture, so thank you! thank you! thank you, Sammy! Now, I just have to figure out where in the crib it's going to go. It'll probably end up in the can over the toilet, because the space in there is best suited for it.

Posted by Broad3:28 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, February 27, 2005
I look like that, too … when I’m nekkid and alone
This is why Snidgey and I are going to get along famously when she's here in a couple weeks; I echo just about everything she says about the red carpet fashions. HATED Gwennie's hair, though.
Posted by Broad10:19 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Pr0n purveyors resist union advances
I was dying to tell y'all about this yesterday, but I couldn't since it didn't run until today. Living proof that I have the best job in the universe at times. (Since we didn't update the paper's Web site last night, the stuff in brackets are edits I suspect were made.)

No, I didn't get to see any of the, ahem, merchandise, but is it necessary for me to tell you that I basically choked on my own tongue trying not to laugh while I interviewed the GM?
Posted by Broad5:54 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, February 25, 2005
He’s joined the ranks, yo!
And he's already bitching, and it hasn't even been a whole day live yet.

Idn't he cuuuuuuute!?!?! Sigh. In my own image.

Anyway, before he has a hemorrhage, get him on your rolls, because I think he's a voice we need around here in the blogosphere. Plus, between the two of us, we've got some great stories about our college days.
Posted by Broad7:37 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, February 24, 2005
24,000 on 24
I checked earlier, and it's actually today that's my one-year, and I was also the 24,000 visitor to my site since ... March, I think is when I set up my stats counter. So with that, I give you ... my prom pictures! You know, since we were talking about prom and all.

Oh. Yeah.

The first one is Junior prom 1987 in the dress I loved, loved, loved! Bought it myself for $80-something from this store I can't remember the name of, but it was at River Oaks mall when River Oaks was cool and outdoors. Was dating the guy, and all was good except for the strep throat I got the next day at Great America.

The SECOND one, on the other hand, was Senior prom '88 at my date's high school. Should've worn the dress from Junior Prom again, but you know, that would be WRONG. So instead, I wore the bridesmaid's dress from Cousin the Rich One's wedding. Note those sexy donut thingies on the sleeves and the way the dress color clashes with the background. Niiiiiice.

Funny story about Senior prom that I'll tell y'all later.
Posted by Broad7:55 AM • (0) Trackbacks
I’m going back to bed
But what better way to spend your time whenyou feel like you've been hit by a bus than Blacklisting family members?
Posted by Broad2:03 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, February 21, 2005
Guck fucked up
Anyone been following the Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert/White House debacle? What I want to know is, how is this different from Bill and Monica in terms of hurting the country's credibility? When it comes down to it, all Bill and Monica ultimately did was hurt themselves (and, of course, Hillary and Chelsea). This jackass, on the other hand, put into question the White House's whole press set-up -- giving it an air of dishonesty worse than it already has -- PLUS he's gay, which, you know, we're not supposed to like. So lessee here, a oversexed lothario diddling some chippy just like many other politicos in all parts of the great US of A and the world, for that matter vs. a political plant in the press corps purposely allowed to pimp one side of the coin

So please, someone spell it out for me: How is it different, other than it's your candidate's policies getting scrutinized? Oh, and if you're going to tell me that Kos, Aravosis and their ranks violated this 'mo's privacy, stick it up your ass; nothing was done that the right wouldn't have if the tables were turned.
Posted by Broad6:36 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, February 20, 2005
All right, already! Jeez
[Note to Wad: Since you're having a hemorrhage, here's one -- guess who I'm likely going to run into March 19th at a formal event for a certain not-for-profit that deals with the handicapped? If you're thinking nitrate-processed lips and assholes on soggy white bread, you would not be wrong.]

Not much to report up in Chez Broad over the weekend. Turns out Cousin Nancy and I are supposed to shop tomorrow for dresses -- except if I get an assignment, which I undoubtedly will, we won't be going to the place I want to take her. But the prom isn't until May, so we do have some time. Of course, she also dropped it on me that she and the new boyfriend are MOVING IN TOGETHER in May as well, about which I'm not happy at all. I mean, Ok, she's 18 now and there's not a whole lot I can say about it, and I don't necessarily think it would be a colossally bad idea for her to see what paying an assload of bills is like on little more than minimum wage. But you guessed it -- she's doing it for all the wrong reasons. Sigh. I'm just hoping she and the new guy are using condoms.

In other news, I told you guys about the show on the 12th, right? Well, did I mention that I was supposed to interview headliner Brian Blush, too? For a Friday Lifestyle cover? Yeah. I've been calling the motherfucker all week, and he hasn't returned any of my calls. Oh, and my deadline is Tuesday noon. I haven't told Tara yet, as she and fiance Sean have been basking in the Florida sun all weekend, and I'm sure I can pull something together. But that's not the point. The point is, a story without the headliner kind of misses the whole point, not to mention puts everyone in a really bad position. Jerk. Will it ruin the show for me? Hell no, because my homies will be representin'. But depending on the amount of woo! juice I gots in me, Brian might get booed.

Actually, here's a nice little story courtesy of Snidge about the woo! girl. Enjoy.
Posted by Broad6:20 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Candy everyone wants (but can’t afford)
Would someone like to tell me when in the HELL a Snickers bar ended up being 94 CENTS with tax!? That just ain't right. Good thing I don't jones for candy bars often, although this month, I just might. (You know, the whole weird craving thing we women of menstruating age get when it becomes that time. Must. have. CANDY. Or rye bread smothered in Ragu. Hey, hormones ain't pretty.)

Speaking of pretty, Cousin Nancy is going to the prom, so I've been enlisted to take her dress hunting this weekend, which is cool, because Nancy and I have a good thing going when it comes to picking out her clothes: She doesn't pick out slutty things, and I don't pick out dorky things. It works. I was a bit concerned when she started talking about getting something in lime green -- her first date wanted a lime green tux with a top hat and shit like a big tool -- but now that she's going with her new boyfriend (huzzah! And he doesn't seem to be an asshat), I think she'll stick with something a little less Britney. (Yeah, if y'all haven't read the interview in Details yet, please do, especially if you're a fan of hillbillies.)

And speaking of hillbillies (I know, transitions suck), part of my VD was spent at a local jeweler watching young, withchild couples in love getting married. (Region rats will know what I'm talking about, and yes, it's as cheesy as you think.) The other part? At the courthouse watching couples get marriage licenses. Woo.
Posted by Broad6:04 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzzzzzzz
Hey Kaffy, the honey and almond/milk and honey soap you got me for my birfday? The one with the giant bee in the middle? Is the SHIT DIGGETY! Ohmigod, -- the can reeks of honey now, and it's not drying. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Kaffy got me lots of cool stuff for the big day, including some lilac and peach eyeshadow, summer blush, lipstick, face scrubby stuff and moisturizer all from Mary Kay (for which she is a consultant, so go buy stuff from her) as well as the awesome soap. And Tara? Well, she knows what she did and knows I got nothing but the love for her.

Between them, Headcase and Ogger, I gots me the best crew in the universe.
Posted by Broad9:31 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Anything to get some attention
Is it just me, or does Maya Keyes' coming-out speech sound disingenuous?
My parents don't approve of what I'm doing at the moment.

I mean, sure, I admit I might've heard that out of context, but it just sounded to me like the polite version of, "Ok, I'm really not sure if I like box or dick, but box sure is fun, and look how MAD it makes my dad! And I STILL get my Ivy League college for free! Look at me! Woo!" And honey, if that's your shtick, you're NOT HELPING. Again, I'm all about it if she's gay. I'm just saying if she's not, this is a shitty thing to be doing to the rest of the community.

While I'm on my social soapbox, did y'all see this? Got it over at Mac's. Someone please enlighten me, because that? Is bullshit.
Posted by Broad7:40 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Sleepytime blews
For those who have no compunction about their proclivities to diddle, a question, s'il tu plait: Keeping in mind that all things are possible when it comes to rubbing the magic lamp, have you ever tossed one off while sleeping (of which you're aware)? Now, taking it one step further, has a partner ever tossed one off while sleeping with you in close proximity*? Did it squick you out?

No particular reason for asking -- just pandering to Wad's assertion that things are getting boring up in here. And also? Traumatizing the parents of children who're looking up "Aladdin" on the worldwideinternetwebbunny: "Mommy? What's a 'diddle'?"
Posted by Broad8:38 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Just when I thought I was out …
Ok, so get this: Crazy Aunt talks to BFKAS this morning, and BFKAS tells her that she went to a Lake Station fish fry and runs into the mayor, right? And the mayor and she make small talk when the mayor says to her that in the latest story I wrote, I misquoted her (the mayor, which is just retarded because nothing I quoted her as saying made her look bad). Well, supposedly BFKAS, knowing the mayor is aware that we're related, says to the mayor, "Excuse me!?!?! I happen to know the reporter personally, and I sincerely doubt she would've misquoted you," to which the mayor promptly shut up.

Now, part of me is like she's making the shit up, but worse? The other part of me is touched, and that was waaaaaaay too easy.
Posted by Broad9:53 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, February 11, 2005
Oh, Groovy Girl Sniiiiiiidge …
rockscissorpaper_1827_5360074.gif

Iss yo birfday!

[Another fine image from Rockscissorpaper]
Posted by Broad9:00 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 >
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

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