Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Never underestimate the power of Dad
The news is in, y'all: Dangdiggity's Pops be IN THE CLEAR! No non-Hodgkins for him! Hi-OOOHHHHH! So go congratulate her. NOW! Not later, like y'all probably did LAST TIME when I told you to go give her happy thoughts. Sheesh.

Btw, when did she and her family get the good news? Dad's birthday, natch.
Posted by Broad9:36 PM
Before I forget (as if I ever could)
Dad would've been 71 today. Happy Birthday, wherever you be. I love you.
Posted by Broad5:46 PM
Time caves to government pressure, hangs all reporters out to dry
Lookit

[Via Gawker]

Pussies.

[UPDATE: And for censorship hatas, here's one for the college books from Romenesko: Lookit]
Posted by Broad6:01 AM
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
I think I may have a new boyfriend
because I just got off the phone with a boy named Turtle, and ohmiGOD, the CUTENESS. For anyone who's ever heard his momma talk, y'all know how cute that is. But coming from a 5 year-old, and an articulate one at that!?! Holy shit. He told me he's taking care of Newbie now and that tomorrow morning, he has karate and that he's really good. And since I know his momma's going to raise him right. I think I could wait the, oh, 14, 15 years it's going to take for him to cook. Because guys dating older broads is the in thing, after all.

S'anyway, back to the thing I posted about blog rules the other night: Zoot also talked about people she knows are reading her but don't tell her. You know, because she can't figure it out or anything. I get some of that, too. (I especially love the ones who come to me through anonymizer; it's like, "Dude, what do you think I'm going to do to you if I know who you are? Come to your house and shit on your porch? Although there are some people (cocks eyebrown and scratches chin mischievously) ...") Seriously, though, like Zoot, I have stats, and I may not know who all of y'all are by looking at you, but I can sure figure it out, so why not just lemeno you're there? It'll make you look a lot less creepy and weird.
Posted by Broad5:34 PM
Closest I’ll ever get to attending MIT
Take the MIT Weblog Survey

[Horked from the foxy Headcase]
Posted by Broad6:57 AM
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Because I’m a retard and have no idea how this works
The latest installment of the DtR chronicles has us trying to set up a second meeting. For the past few days, he's been quiet, saying he's up to his eyeballs in "personal issues." And then this afternoon, he drops it on me: He's asking his wife for a divorce and moving into his own crib this weekend. But don't tell anyone, because only his sister and boss know what's going on.

For anyone taking bets out there as to how long THAT was going to take, it was two weeks -- actually, not even. Sigh.

I mean, how stupid do you think I am!?! Do you honestly think I don't KNOW that guys tend to look up their old flames when the shit hits the fan with their current old ladies!?! Like you're the first dude that ever came up with this? Puh-LEEEZE. I may have been born in the morning, but it wasn't YESTERDAY MORNING. How much more contrived* can you BE, fer chrissakes.

$750 to go ... $750 to go ...
Posted by Broad10:49 AM
But I like them
Why oh why is it that every time Daily Candy sends me a link to a Web site with pretty shoes, all the shoes are out of my price range right now?
Posted by Broad6:25 AM
Monday, June 27, 2005
Blog rules 101
Found this over at this dude Uncle Bob's, who I'd never read but apparently got dooced. I really, really dig it, so read it and learn.

[Via the lovely Zoot, whose husband really didn't shave off all his body hair.]
Posted by Broad9:33 PM
Kids these days
Got an e-mail from my little friend Kate; we were talking about purses when she hit me with the news that she's getting married. In September.

To a guy she met in April.

The first thing I did when I saw this e-mail? Called her and said, "You're WHAT!?!?!?" to which she replied with a laugh, "Why did I know I was going to get a quick response from you on that?" And I growled my usual "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm" that I do when I've been hit with dubious news.

(She knows I'm blogging about this, btw, so I'm not talking out of school or anything. And no, she's not knocked-up.)

So I heard her out about why she feels the need to this, and she said that ultimately when it comes down to it, if she described why it felt so right, it would lose all meaning. She also said that they were thinking about doing it in March, but that fiance's sister's getting married in April, and she had an aneurysm that she was going to get upstaged, so then I said, "So you can't wait until AFTER APRIL!?!?" and she said "Well, yeeeeah." There was also stuff about why should they pay $900 apiece for their cribs when they're already living together practically (reasonable), but that his parents wouldn't let them live together without being married (not their business since he's, like, 26) and that his parents got married quickly and have been married happily for 38 years. So then I told her that there are at least three marriages I know of right now that happened just as quickly that are either on the verge of petering out or already have, and are you SURE you REALLY want to do this, because odds like that? Not promising. But she swears this is what she wants. So I told her that she was 21 and that once I get over the initial shock, I'll be supportive and wonderful. And she said she understood my concerns and everything. It was fine.

But man! Three months!?!?!
Posted by Broad1:02 PM
Today, my job just became a lot scarier
Here it is, folks -- the end of a free press as we know it: Lookit.
Posted by Broad7:59 AM
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Is it wrong for a broad …
to buy a new purse when rent is due in a week? Probably not? Well, would it help y'all to know that I got it off eBay for, like, a little less than half retail? And that it's blue like Snidgey's!?! (She lives 700 miles away, so that doesn't count!)

Still not convinced?

Ok, would telling you that that the Louis fake I'm using right now is sooo two years ago, and everyone in NWI has it or something like it make the new bag more palletablepalatable?

No?

(sigh) Tough crowd.
Posted by Broad9:24 AM
Friday, June 24, 2005
OHMIGOD, the HOTNESS
It's fucking 95 out there with, like, a heat index of eleventy billion degrees. I mean, if I'm wearing shorts? You KNOW it's bad, because I'm wearing shorts with my big ol' sallow yellow turkey legs.

Waaaaaaaaaaaah.
Posted by Broad12:25 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
(Re)mission (notatall)impossible
After a teeny hiatus, my girl over at Bitchbook has made the announcement that her dad is about to have his first biopsy after getting remission status for, if I remember correctly since we haven't talked about it in awhile, non-Hodgkins like Dad. So to you I say run! and give that girl some lovin' and good thoughts.

Well, don't just sit there -- GO already! Jeez ...
Posted by Broad10:37 PM
Death and taxes (working title: “It sucks to be me")
So, the die is cast, and the appointment of doom has been set for 1 p.m. July 19. She asked if I wanted 8:30 a.m., and I was like, "Oh, honey that'd be waaaaaaaaay to early to deal." Surprisingly, she had a sense of humor about it. Now, my accountant is going to go through my files and see what we need, and then at some point we're going to meet and do a "mini-audit" so I know what to expect. But again, I'm really not that freaked out about it. I mean, I usually never have a reason to go rooting around in the files once my taxes are done for the year, so other than a few things, I don't think it's going to be a mad dash for anything. Laugh if you want, but having Greta organize my shit for me is the best thing I ever do for myself. Seriously, girl should pimp that shit out as a business.

Meanwhile, not much is going on here in Chez Broad, other than catching up on sleep. Tuesday was a big nightmare on several fronts, among them Mother hunting me down at the paper to make sure I remembered that I had to take her to pick up her eyebrow pencil. (!) Lemme tell you, nothing like feeling like you've got a noosetether tied to your neck. I mean, good Christ, I had people at the crib last weekend, and the woman had no food in her house so I had to send Snidgey to run errands for her. It's like, when do I get to have a little peace and quiet, huh!?!? A life? Shit. And so what does she do when I go off because of frustration? Pulls out the ol' "When I'm gone/I wish I were dead" drama, to which I tell her then why not just do it already? I'm sure I've told y'all that before, so don't be all freaked out or anything, but seriously, what are you supposed to say to that? Yeah, I KNOW she's depressed. Yeah, I KNOW she probably needs a change in medication. Yeah, I KNOW she needs to spend more time with her psychiatrist than just a 15-minute med check every three months. I KNOW she should be in a widow support group. I KNOW all that. But I can do only so much before she has to take some of the responsibility, and she won't.

I know she needs me, and it's not that I don't want to help, because I do, but boundaries, people!
Posted by Broad10:18 AM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Oh-so-quiet
Not sure if there's going to be posting at all today; got a buttload of assignments to finish, plus I'm still sick and really, REALLY angry about some stuff that I hope will be worked out. (And no, it's not for public consumption, so don't ask. I'll probably chew off your head and shit down your neck if you do, anyway.)
Posted by Broad10:02 PM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

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