Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
The Rev. Dr. Leon Finney Jr. is a big fat hypocrite
Do y'all remember when I was going on and on about Leon's Ribs a while back? I got an e-mail from Gwen, the woman who owned the one in Hammond about a week or so ago, and I must confess I didn't get around to reading it until today. And then when I read it, I wish I'd done it sooner, because then the workings of this nematode of the cloth could've been up much longer for the world to see.

Gwen sent this letter to several new outlets; I'm posting it in its entirety:
If there is a spiritual knowledge of earthly matters after death, I wonder how the much loved and respected state Representative Lovana "Lou" Jones' heavenly spirit is reacting to the knowledge that as the Reverend Doctor Leon D. Finney, Jr., was delivering her eulogy -- this “man of the cloth,” who proclaimed to be her friend, had set in motion a state court ordered, forcible eviction of his 65 year-old sister along with her disabled husband from a condominium owned by their father, Leon D. Finney, Sr., of Leon's BBQ fame.

His sister and brother-in-law were literally being set out on the street as “Lou” Jones’ earthly remains laid before him. There rested a woman whose very core -- above all else -- bespoke a deep devotion, respect, and caring for her family. Yet, the Reverend Doctor Finney simultaneously participated in the process of inflicting excruciating pain on his flesh and blood sister, allowing her to be thrown into the streets, thereby causing her and her husband to join the ranks of the “homeless” community of the Chicago South Side.

I find it eerily striking that the funeral celebration and homage paid to this extraordinary woman, "Lou" Jones, took place on the same day -- at or about the same time the Reverend Dr. Finney, Jr., brought to fruition one of the most horrific days of his sister's life; and, while his sister was suffering the sting of betrayal and pain of her brother's contempt -- he was officiating at a celebration of a woman's lifelong commitment to family, to her larger community, and to any and all persons less fortunate than herself. How bizarre!

But, this did indeed happen.

At or about 10 am, on Tuesday morning, May 16, 2006 -- there was a loud banging at the door to Gwen Finney-Wood and her husband, Jim Wood's, 18th Floor apartment located at 5201 S. Cornell Ave in Hyde Park.

Having just finished their morning coffee and about to begin packing to return to their home in Hawaii -- they were startled and terrified by the voices yelling, "open the door, Sheriffs’ department!" -- and were further traumatized when they opened the door to find four, armed, uniformed police officers from the Sheriff's Office standing menacingly at their door. The police officers barged in unceremoniously and demanded the Woods get dressed and get out of their apartment immediately!

With little less than two or three minutes to gather their thoughts, change from sleepwear to street clothing -- they were physically ejected from a place they'd called home for nearly 7 years.

Neighbors, friends, residents of the condominium -- administrative, security and maintenance staff of the Cornell Village Condominiums -- all of whom over the years had come to know the Woods personally -- watched in stunned disbelief as they witnessed the household furnishings and personal belongings of this elderly couple being set out on the sidewalk in front of their very stately building.

News spread fast that this indignity had been visited upon the daughter of longtime Cornell Village resident/owner, Leon D. Finney, Sr.; and, that her brother, the Reverend Dr. Leon D. Finney, Jr., was responsible for the forcible eviction. It was common knowledge among residents of the Cornell Village that Rev. Dr. Finney, Jr., had recently gained personal and financial guardianship of his father's estate after the senior Finney was adjudicated a disabled person due to an advance stage of Alzheimer's Disease.

The details of the Finney family saga pales in the face of the humiliation, hurt, and pain a purported “Man of God” chose to inflict on his own sister as he hides behind the guise of protecting his father's financial interests. However, this situation is perhaps all the more disgraceful because given the hypocrisy and demonstrated cruelty Rev. Dr. Finney, Jr., exhibited toward his own flesh and blood -- he exposed himself as an absolute antithesis of what the beloved “Lou” Jones represents to those who came together on May 16, 2006, at his historic, Metropolitan Apostolic Church, to honor and praise her.

Shame on you my brother, Leon, Jr., for your heresy and disrespect of a life that deserved far more than you brought to the pulpit.

Gwendolyn Finney-Wood


I called Gwen a little bit ago, and amazingly, she and her husband are in fantastic spirits. The sheriff who came to evict them, upon hearing the circumstances under which the eviction was happening, said, "You guys take as much time as you need to pack your stuff. It's cool." So, they're packing their valuables and memorables and moving back to Hawaii, where Gwen's family is, and they'll start a barbecue joint out there. Sure hope they can ship, because I will NEVER, EVER, go to Leon's Barbecue in Chicago EVER, and I would ask that y'all do the same.
Posted by Broad1:21 PM
The new ‘do
Why do I always look like such a tard when I take pictures of myself?
Posted by Broad9:23 AM
Friday, May 26, 2006
How come no one told me Mike Patton still does stuff!?
You know, from Faith No More? I LOVE that guy. I've loved him ever since staring at Wad's Faith No More poster -- the one where they're all in their boxers -- and realizing hey! ol' boy's packing some HEAT, yo!The Real Thing! And now, he's Peeping Tom, and the debut is really good. (Listen to it here; he put the whole damn album up.) Methinks I'll be feeding it to the iPod once it hits May 30.

In other business, guess what I purchased Wednesday? A plunger. I've lived almost eight years in the crib, and I never bought one. Not sure what that says. But it's a nice, discreet plunger with a cover and everything, although the handle kinda looks like a sex toy, all clear plastic and knobby. Not sure what that says, either.
Posted by Broad4:44 PM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
“SOOOULLLL PATROOOOL”!?? Are you kidding me!??
Tonight, as a follow-up to my American Idol story from last year, I was forcedassigned to watch the finale and then talk to some of the people I interviewed for it to get their reactions on the winner, and wouldn't you know that the one bitch I was able to get a hold of who told me she'd be home watching it conveniently wasn't home, therefore making me suffer through that crap.

(Based on her iciness when I talked to her this afternoon, though, I'm not entirely surprised. She probably thought my story last year was going to be all about HER and it wasn't. But it's not like the paper cared about Idol that much, anyway -- not when there's murder and mayhem afoot -- so joke's on you, beeyotch.)

Yeah, so Poppy called it that Taylor "thank-God-they-put-tight-pants-on-him-tonight-so-he-couldn't-jump- around-like-Snidge's-nefew-doing-his-poop-dance" Hicks would be the next sucker, based on the fact that the winners so far have been 1) a lithesome brunette, 2) an overweight black male, 3) an illiterate black woman and 4) a blonde who pretended to be a pop star but who really is a country star, and that with all the money the AI people have invested in the show and its hype it would have to be staged, but c'mon, people! He BLEW! Couldn't sing a note all damn night. Not even Toni Braxton could help him out, but then again, she sounded like ass, too. And I would've completely loved the Clay Aiken segment, were it not for ol' Clay sidling around like this one gay theater major I used to hang with in college when he was trying to channel Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Longer hair becomes ol' Gay ... I mean, Clay.* But Prince is now dead to me.

Anyway, when it's not ass-humid out and my hair isn't all frizzed up, remind me to post a picture of my awesome new haircut. Picture a cross between Louise Brooks and Emo Phillips, and you're close.
Posted by Broad7:29 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
Drippy and oh, SO miserable
Going to go drown in my own snot now. Good night.

Stupid allegies
Posted by Broad7:24 PM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Life’s Sweet Sound
Over at Greta's waiting for a load of laundry to dry (gotta have some fresh towels on hand for my grrrl upon her arrival tomorrow, after all), but when I was trolling around MySpace earlier (I know, I know, I said MySpace is for the young, but that doesn't mean I can't look. It could be research. You don't know) I totally came across a couple of guys with whom I went to high school way back in the day. Now, I know them as Goran and Dejan, two of the hottest and most popular guys in school, but y'all might know them as indie band extraordinaire THE GUFS!

I KNOW! How could I forget that!??

Well, it's easy when they're too cool for NWI and play places like The Double Door and Milwaukee Summerfest instead of McCool's and Rosie's, but even though Dejan and I were in college together, it's not like we were super super close or anything, so you know, you lose track of people and whatnot.

So anyway, I thought for fun I'd add Dejan to my buddy list to see if he might remember me, and whaddya know? He totally does! And -- AND -- he still has a review I wrote about The Gufs from, like, '92 when they played at the Elbo Room! That was the night I picked up this John Cusack lookalike (with Larry, my date, standing right there); "London Calling" was playing in the background, and I was wearing a black mock turtle and put black eyeliner only on the top lid for dramatic effect. How fucking funny. Of course, thinking about how twee and unrefined my writing was back then, I'm kind of weirded out that he still has it, but still. I'm going to have to look in my old portfolio, because I'm sure I still have it in there.

Jooools, you must pick up on this band as well as Goran's solo efforts! I'll bet you would love them.
Posted by Broad6:22 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
And it was …
a letdown. I wouldn't say I wasted two hours of my life on it bad, but seriously, the Grey's Anatomy finale was not all I'd hoped it was. Totally contrived, total pandering. About the best thing that happened was Denny finally died, and they handled it well, and there were some excellent acting moments. But a prom? And the cliffhanger being Meredith having to chose between Derek and Fin? Weak.

Unlike Kalisah, however, I didn't see anything disturbing about Callie's bangs.
Posted by Broad7:22 PM
Nobody call me between 8-10 p.m. tonight (and I mean NOBODY)
It's the Grey's Anatomy season finale, and I WILL NOT ANSWER. So don't even think about it.
Posted by Broad2:06 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Happy day of the mommas
To all of you who've let scamps like me spring forth from your loins, make sure to enjoy your day in whatever way you see fit.
Posted by Broad6:24 AM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Fucking cancer
Popped over to Zoot's and found this: Lookit

I read Jessica only a few times through various and sundry surfing, but reading this made my heart sink. Thirty-three years old, folks. Jesus Christ.
Posted by Broad10:03 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Not to mention
that not only do I have hillbillies and an overabundance of screaming brats pollutingpulating the cul-de-sac, I forgot about the Cougher, who spends his nights coughing and hacking up his lungs as well as the lungs of everyone within a square mile of Chez Broad. It's really unpleasant, I have to say.
Posted by Broad10:45 AM
Bad blogger. Bad, bad, bad!
Yeah yeah, I know I've gotten out of the blogging groove. It's not intentional, exactly -- part of it is boredom, sort of, and another small part has to do with what The Universe sent me today:
While it's often fashionable to dwell upon what might have been, [Broad], what's usually overlooked, is that really and truly, it couldn't have.

Because, invariably, any romanticized versions of how things "might have been," are based upon fictionalized versions of the past.


So yeah, I'm kind of in mourning, sort of. Not like the-curled-up- on-the-couch-unshowered-and-convinced-that-my-house-is-bugged kind of mourning I'm prone to. It's more like the horrible dread you feel when something or someone you've loved and respected for so long disappoints you for the last time, and with that final action you can't go back to the way it was no matter what. You're not sure what's worse -- the hurt over the action, or the anger over thinking that you had something to do with it even though it wasn't your fault and never was, but yet you've still got this feeling inside your head that maybe if you just did something different, it wouldn't be like this. Doesn't make for real interesting conversation, that, as Snidge can attest.

But I AM having fun feeding my iPod -- just gave it some Barenaked Ladies and The Police.
Posted by Broad7:11 AM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I told y’all I’m now on MySpace too, right?
Prolly not, but here it is if you're interested: Lookit

Other than checking it, I won't blogging there or anything because I have this blog, and there's no sense in reinventing the wheel. Truth be told, I'm not even really a fan of MySpace because I think the format is uglier than shit. I got on there, though, for two reasons: 1) I slapped together a basic page for my band pals Bite the Lime, and 2) my baby sister said I should because that's where her social life is. And I have other NWI band friends who I wanted to support, so I guess that means I now have three reasons to be on there. Anyway, there it is. It's not pretty at all, but it works.
Posted by Broad7:07 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I love getting e-mails from The Universe
In my e-mail today:
For you, [Broad], it's never really been all about the cottage at the beach, a multimillion dollar bank account and the adoration of fans, has it?

Ok, a teeny, tiny bit.

Instead, it's been about having a life that allows for the expression of your creativity and exchanging your rare and special gifts with the world. To be yourself, no matter the cost, laughing often, and knowing to your core the meaning of love, friendship and sleeping in.

Just wanted you to know that I know this about you. And that I think it's just great how you're imagining the latter when you visualize these days...

Pretty much got you pegged, huh?
The Universe

Posted by Broad5:26 AM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Leave it to Lake County to screw up election returns (also, I now have hillbillies in my ‘hood)
The new machines apparently don't interface well with the old machines, so all the totals need to be hand-tallied is the word coming out of the guvmint center. And all I can think to myself is, "Y'all couldn't have tested this shit BEFORE THE PRIMARY, MAYBE!?? Just a thought." Dumbasses. So now, the paper will have to spend another entire issue devoted to results, which is, like, whatever.

All I covered tonight was school board stuff, which was fine because it was my last official story on the one school board I covered with regularity. And since I refuse tono longer cover them, I feel no compunction in saying that today was a sad, sad day in Highland, because the town just reelected the man who was in no small part responsible for running the district into the ground. No small wonder since he spent the last 3 1/2 years bad-mouthing all the efforts of the current board, of course, but that's how they roll over there. This is not to say that the current board was puppies and sunshine; it handled things very badly, especially in the beginning of its tenure -- the proverbial bulls in a china shop, if you will. And I'll be the first to admit that bought into the hype put forth by the old guard. But then I saw the financials of the board on which the guy who was reelected sat -- the shoddy record-keeping, the allowing the assistant superintendent to take off for ISBA business that just happened to coincide with her daughter's college basketball games, the way he and his former board members fought so hard for LIFETIME INSURANCE BENEFITS from the school town for elected positions that they don't even pay into, the insane attorney fees with an attorney that didn't have a contract with the school board -- and I learned real quick that thpugh the new board might not be the most charismatic and touchy-feely, it had a lot of cleaning up to do. And anyways, I'm sure the old guard would've been crabby, too, if every one of THEIR meetings turned into an ugly spectacle like they made the the current board's for 3 1/2 years. Point is, I will continue to tell all my friends with school-age kidlets that they need to get the hell out of dodge before the kidlets get to middle school.

[And as a sidenote to Mr. Jackass Attorney who accused me of impartiality when covering the board debates and most likely the board as a whole over the last 3 1/2 years a couple weeks ago, I have this to say: Contrary to popular belief, reporters unequivocally do have opinions about the things they cover; if they say they don't, they're lying, myself included. The true craft of being a reporter, however, is to be able to report the facts no matter how infuriating, nauseating and offensive those facts may be to you, and I will be happy to sit down with you to go over every single story I've ever written on the School Board and compare them to every single minute of meeting tape to show you just how impartial I was. Name the date and time, and I'll be there, though I don't expect you really would because I know you were just lashing out after I asked you if you were bankrolling the one candidate. But the offer stands, my friend.]

Anyway.

My 'hood is now infested with stupid people who yell and scream like morons all the time. Most of the time, it's celebratory yelling and screaming, but I expect the "You done me wrong, Cletus, and now I'm going to throw the toaster at yew" yelling and screaming to commence at any time.
Posted by Broad7:24 PM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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