Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Blog! Blog! Blog! Blog!
(said as a chant, like in "Requiem for a Dream" during the ass-to-ass scene where all those dudes were yelling, "Cum!")

Ok, so I think my pal Kaffy needs to get herself a blog. She and I were talking about this last night. I mean, for Chrissakes, she's freakin' MENSA-geek smart, she's lost 66 pounds (and counting!) off WW over the past year, she's a cancer survivor (thyroid, if you must know -- she's got this wicked scar on her neck that we spent many an hour thinking up creative comebacks for the smacked asses who ask her "What happened to your neck?"), AND she gives her cat wood. That's blogging GOLD right there. But she's not listening to me. So, it's up to y'all to start putting the heat on Ms. Kaffy to get thee to a blog template and start SHARING.

Speaking of sharing, the big article will be posted before I leave for an assignment later. I couldn't write it exactly the way I wanted to, but it's STILL big. I'm pretty psyched about it.

With that, I leave you with reason #15 on why Kaffy needs to blog: Her poetry!
Posted by Broad8:24 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Septugenarians rule
Today would've been Dad's 70th birthday, so in honor of that, I'm going to post something by someone who wrote about HIS dad and got it right. Thank you, Porny Boy.
Posted by Broad8:47 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Note to Cat …
Color me flumoxed: A former friend from long ago just sent condolences about Dad. Seriously -- check the comments. Wow. I don't quite know what to say. Well, all right, I kinda do, but ... wow. That's cool. Unexpected, and I'm shocked as hell, but cool. However, she didn't leave me an e-mail to respond, so if y'all will pardon the indulgence for a moment, I'm going to on the off-chance she'll check back.
Posted by Broad4:49 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Love FEST! Baby, love FEST!
Gots more people to welcome up here in Chez Broad: Chris in D.C. who's been chased up the Potomac by cows and Sheri over in K.C., who lists me as "kick ass." Woo! And note to Sheri: I happen to know personally one of K.C.'s most famous personalities: Lurlene, the Trailer Court Queen. She's excellent friends withmy former boss, and she's cool. as. hell. We've drank together on several occasions. It's a beautiful thing.
Posted by Broad9:02 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, June 28, 2004
Wasn’t me
Here I was, all excited about the new sandals I impulse-bought today, and what happens? Their insides are squishy, and they make a farting noise as I walk. Nice.
Posted by Broad7:11 PM • (0) Trackbacks
I be back, my peeps
Rough weekend, and not in a fun, drunken way. Longer post to come later, after I head down to the ol' County Courthouse to do me a little investigative work. Can't divulge what right now, but I'll post the story when it runs. If it pans out -- and with the proof I got, it's going to be a hot one either way -- it's going to be HUUUUUUUGE. HUUUUUUUUGE, I tell you.

I love my job better than most some days.
Posted by Broad6:30 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, June 25, 2004
What was and what should never be
Going through the ATM this morning, ahead of me was this woman. Not an unattractive woman by any means, mind you, but she would've been a lot more attractive if the following had been true:

1) That her perfectly abundant, perfectly permed hair wasn't held back by a banana clip, circa 1987;
2) that she wasn't wearing a hot pink shirt with sparkles and things hanging off under the arms, circa 1992;
3) That she wasn't driving in a late-model, black Trans-Am with the license plate "4Mikey" (no offense, mikey), circa 1985, and -- AND
4) that she wasn't wearing HEAD GEAR, circa 6th grade.

Aren't there laws about that stuff? I mean, wow.
Posted by Broad5:21 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Zoot LURVES me
'cuz I gots me a GMAIL account. Neener neener neeeeeeee-neeeeeerrrrrr. Yay!
Posted by Broad9:46 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Since we’re on the subject …
The purse incident isn't the only time I thought Dad came to visit. For awhile after he died, for example, my TV, which has hit-or-miss reception anyway, would get these clearly electrical diagonal lines in it, but the picture would be perfectly clear otherwise, and while that was happening, the light would flicker, or if I was talking to Kaffy, I would get this huge electrical charge through the phone. (She remembers, because I would tell her about it as we were talking.) And sure, it could be coincidence, but my one best friend Laura, who lost her mom a little more than a year before Dad, used to talk about the same types of things happening to her and her sisters. In fact, it was Laura who pointed out that when I was giving my eulogy at Dad's funeral, the lights dimmed considerably. I didn't notice, of course, but I was hysterical at the time. And sometimes, he shows up in my dreams, but it's never a cathartic gesture as happens with some people -- at least not that I can remember, anyway. Maybe that's because we made our peace before he died.

I'm SURE he's around when I'm in the car, because of my idiot driving habits. A couple months after he died, my friend Poppy (not her real name) and I went out for the first time in, like, five years, and the short version? Two or three beers and three or four Flaming Dr Peppers later -- you know, the one where you set a shot of I-forget-what on fire and then drop it into a beer, which makes it taste like Dr Pepper -- I was FUCKED. UP. I mean, as in BAD fucked-up, like it was a miracle that I didn't kill myself/someone else/a telephone pole or tree/get pulled over for DWI. And the only way that could've happened was if Dad was co-piloting. I'm sure of it. But not one to ever miss out on teaching me a lesson in the process, the next day while I was driving Mother to get lunch, I had to pull over on the side of the road from the wave of nausea that coursed through my body, and then explain to Mother why I had to pull over. It was a toss-up as to which one was worse.
Posted by Broad7:56 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Stop talking about me
Again, I haven't been blowing the Dad thing off; what I wanted to do was scan in the picture of Dad for Father's Day on Sunday and post that as my tribute. I don't have a scanner, however, and neither do any of my friends. So anyway, to the dads in the hizzie, happy happy, yo. (Pete, Og, Rock's dad, etc.)

Not sure how y'all feel about the afterlife and God and whatnot, but since I haven't talked about belief system -- or maybe I have and I just can't remember -- I'll tell you: Nonpracticing Catholic who believes in God but doesn't really buy into the whole organized religion thing. I'm also a huge believer in ghosts and spirits. Case in point? The Sunday after Dad died.
Posted by Broad7:57 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Just because … nuthin’!
You know how I was all geeked up about seeing Perry Farrell and then finding out he was going to answer my questions? Well, I get around to doing the article I promised the magazine I used to work for on it, and guess what? Lollapalooza 2004? CANCELLED AS OF THIS MORNING, to which my former boss says, "Wow. That's just wacky."

I'm pretty sure we'll just take a new angle, but ... crap. And that was, like, the pinnacle of my career.
Posted by Broad7:46 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, June 21, 2004
Making the WRONG decision
More stuff to cheer Kaffy up, because she's still having a craptastic week: Lookit
Posted by Broad8:12 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, June 19, 2004
I remember when …
So I e-mailed the one guy last night, asking him why we don't talk much anymore. Because we don't.
Posted by Broad3:49 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, June 18, 2004
Sheeeeee-it, muthafucka
For Kaffy, who's been having a bad couple of days:
Posted by Broad8:36 PM • (0) Trackbacks
No. Get out. Imagine my surprise.
Al Qaeda strikes again. [Courtesy of USA Today]
Posted by Broad9:58 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 1 of 4 pages  1 2 3 >  Last »
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.

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