Region Broad

Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Region-y goodness

Friday, November 03, 2006

Looking at my stats

for the first two days of this month, and not a one of my referrers is a legitimate site. So, like, do all y’all come from pr0n sites?

Posted by Broad • 4:43 AM •

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Vincent!?? Are you KIDDING me!??

’k, guys, the previews for next week’s Nip/Tuck: a mouse growing a human ear so Rosie O’Donnell can get an ear transplant? Bitch, please. This season is waaaaaaay over the top, although I do like how Larry Hagman’s and Brooke Shields’ characters are developing.

Posted by Broad • 3:23 AM •

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Cheesy way to use this grafic

that I ganked from the lovely Bumptious and have been dying to use, but did y’all hear about the 24 morons that got busted in NWI for wanting to have sex with kids?

Without endorsing sex with underage children whatsoever (because I absolutely DO NOT), why would anyone try to solicit underage sex on the Internet? It’s bad enough having to wonder if the person you’re talking to online is actually who they say they are, so why would you compound the anxiety by doing something you’re likely going to get busted for sooner or later!?? Is there some sexual turn-on of which I’m unawares?

My girls’ story after the jump:

Wait ... what!?? …

By Danielle Braff and Christin Nance
Post-Tribune staff writers

Two dozen men from Indiana and surrounding states arrested in the past few days had one common interest: An alleged desire to have sex with children.

Some of them traveled from other parts of the state to do it. Others talked about doing it online. A few brought condoms.

All are accused of using the computer to meet young girls in an attempt to have sex.

The men were arrested in a massive undercover operation in Porter, St. Joseph and Tippecanoe counties. Their stories, detailed in court documents and by detectives, describe the extent the 24 men arrested went to in order to manipulate the children.

U.S. Attorney Joseph Van Bokkelen said the operation involved 29 federal, state and local law enforcement agencies and took place over 21 days ending Tuesday. More arrests are expected in the coming week.

The sting netted Matthew Hensley, a 24-year-old Valparaiso man who formerly worked with girls as the varsity assistant coach for the women’s basketball team at Andrean High School in Merrillville.

In a series of online conversations with someone named jen_indy_13, Hensley told her that even though she was 13, he’d still have sex with her.

He gave her his phone number and promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about their conversations or decision to meet.

Later, he explained to the girl in detail how to have sex. When she didn’t appear to understand, Hensley told her, “I’ll show you when I come over.”

The woman who answered the phone at Hensley’s home declined to comment, as did athletes at Andrean High School.

Another local man arrested offered a beer and a first sexual experience to a child.

“Would you let me play with you,” jackdaniels_19962002 asked amanda_13.2006. “I think so,” she answered in an online chat earlier this month.

JackDaniels turned out to be James Daniel, a 30-year-old from Valparaiso who is nearly 6 feet, 225 pounds with brown hair and blue eyes. Amanda was William McKenna, a special agent with the U.S. Secret Service, posing as a 13-year-old girl who was a virgin but curious about sex.

Daniel was also curious and eager to have sex with Amanda, according to their online conversation.

Daniel allegedly suggested Amanda have a beer before they have intercourse, and he asked that she perform sexual acts on him as well, according to court documents. The two agreed to meet, and Daniel was promptly taken into custody.

Officers posed as underage girls, and sometimes boys who were usually 13 years old.

“They knew that they were chatting with a 13-year-old child; There is no doubt about that,” Van Bokkelen said.

Most of the predators made repeated efforts to meet with the underage female or male for sexual purposes, and 11 allegedly traveled to a location. Those who didn’t travel made numerous sexually explicit remarks during chat room sessions and, in some cases, filmed themselves on Web cams.

The 24 men are charged with using the Internet in an attempt to coerce and entice children to engage in sexual activity. A conviction carries a mandatory minimum of 10 years in prison, with a possible maximum of life in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Van Bokkelen said Hensley was caught when he traveled from his apartment on the north side of Valparaiso to a house the police used on the south side of Valparaiso.

As Hensley was speaking to jen_indy_13, a Crown Point man was having a similar conversation with another agent posing as a 13-year-old. The two were talking in an online chatroom called Romance by Location, and David Rouhselang, 41, of Crown Point, was allegedly attempting to show the girl every aspect of romance.

Rouhselang told her that as an older man, he’d be able to help her learn about sex. “I could be the TV repair man and visit you when moms go to work,” he told her in the chatroom in an Aug. 3 conversation.

Tim Viertel, of the U.S. Secret Service in Chicago, aired a warning to predators:

“I would say to the bad guys out there who may be watching this, to let you know, you have operated for several years thinking you’re anonymous out there. Well, it’s a double-edged sword; from now on you don’t really know if your dealing with or conversing with a 13-year-old or an officer of Valparaiso Police Department. Keep that in mind.

“That is our duty as law enforcement, to get on the Internet and disrupt criminals out there who would do our children harm.”

Contact Danielle Braff at 648-3079 or . Contact Christin Nance at 477-6015 or

The men arrested:

-- David Rouhselang, 41, Crown Point
-- Clayton McNeely, 25, Monticello
-- Justin Reichart, 22, Fort Wayne
-- Matthew Hensley, 24, Valparaiso
-- James Daniel, 30, Valparaiso
-- J. Anthony Capozzoli, 26, Greentown
-- Travis Springer, 21, Decatur
-- Derek Scott Davey, Berrien Springs, Mich.
-- James R. McManus, 35, of Fort Wayne
-- Matthew K. Toosley, 25, Knox
-- John A. Payne, 29, Plymouth
-- Steven Berry, 46, of Rockville
-- Brian Gladish, 35, Montgomery
-- Charles D. Fuller, 45, Lafayette
-- Jimmie L. Collins, 47, Whiteland
-- David Lohman, 37, Indianapolis
-- Rahus Mannara, 33, South Bend
-- Michael Hackley, 35, Springfield, Ohio
-- Donald Cochran, 47, Rushville
-- Jeffrey P. Taylor, 37, Logansport
-- Thomas Wallace, 35, Anderson
-- Mark Ciesolka, 32, Columbus

Oh, whatEVER.

Posted by Broad • 8:02 PM •

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Slickster

Because the world is small and I never end up knowing who’s going to cross my path, I had the pleasure of talking to a college crush of mine for a story today. He was a rather short-lived crush, at least by my standards (from, like, January to shortly after school let out for the summer), but he was definitely one of the more fun ones—tall, gangly, goofy-looking and a bit younger than me; he was 18 or 19 to my 21? no 22, I would’ve been 22 when we hooked up. He was also the author of one of, if not the only, cartoons we ran in our college rag that wasn’t syndicated, so he ended up spending a crapload of time in the newspaper office with the rest of us misfits. Anyway, my favorite memory* of Slick, as we used to call him, involved the wonder wagon, a fifth of Rumplemintz and a tattoo.

Yeah, I know that has the classic markings of drrrrrrrty, but it wasn’t salacious at all. Seriously.

It was a Wednesday, and Slick, me and another doofus we used to hang out with took off for lunch. We were in my car—the illustrious 1985 Ford Escort Wagon I totalled three different times between 1988 and 1993—and I seem to recall that I was letting Doof do the driving for some reason, or maybe he was driving on the way back because I’d had a few beers at lunch ... Anyway, at some point on the way back, I pointed out to the two of them that I had an unopened bottle of Rumple left over from the Indiana College Press Association weekend from which the paper staff had just returned, and they were all “Sweeeeeeeeet,” so we cracked it open and started swigging.

(I should mention here that this was during the semester I almost drank myself out of college forealz, so that there was an unopened bottle of anything alcoholic in my car is a miracle, especially since ICPA was basically a giant hotel party for college newspaper nerds and my room had the hospitality tub. I didn’t even drink that weekend at all, probably because I was away from home and thus away from my “stress.” Whatever that was at the time.)

So we get back to campus, and Slick decides he needs to have his tat re-inked. I, needing very little in the way of excuses to ditch class, decided I was going to go with because I’d never seen a tat done before, but Doof had Calc or something that he just couldn’t miss (which I wasn’t the least bit upset about because, hello! Crush!). It was just me and Slick and a bottle of Rumple, of which he maybe drank the equivalent of the bottle neck while I pounded the rest. In about an hour. And I lived to tell the tale, without throwing it back up or anything. I remember being in the tat shop and watching the artist hit his tat with purple, of all colors, and going, “Wow. If I weren’t so drunk, I’d be completely freaked out by that.” I also remember stopping at the corner of Ridge and Wisconsin in Hobart and calling the newspaper office from the payphone while Slick threw some gas in the Wonder Wagon’s almost-empty tank. We just drove around all afternoon, talking and laughing about whatever. Of course, when we got back to campus, everyone knew what we were doing because I smelled like a giant candy cane (Tara can attest to this). And then I went out to Wad’s Wonder Wagon and started crying hysterically about something, and I sobered up. The end.

Slick’s a commercial painter now who focuses on high-end remodeling jobs, happily married with three or four daughters. Good for him.

Wait ... what!?? …

Posted by Broad • 9:41 PM •

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Bitter? I hardly know her

Is it entirely too cynical of me to think that, as I watched this group of kids at a school board meeting defend a program that's undergone big funding cuts, that they were just dorks looking for a place to belong*!?? Or am I merely observing the fact that of all people under the age, say, 18, one-millionth of a percent of them aren't completely socially retarded!??

Wait ... what!?? …

Posted by Broad • 3:46 AM •

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Figures I miss the best part of the whole evening

Found out yesterday that the best part of the ball happened just as I was making the mad dash to my car.

Each year, the chamber gives out "of the Year" awards to cops, paramedics and firefighters, and the dude who took over the Lake County Convention and Visitors Bureau, Speros Batistatos, was chosen to hand out the firefighter awards, right? Well, I'm told by several people that as ol' Speros took the stage to annouce the recipients, he scolded attendees who were still browsing at the silent auction table to sit down and that "wasn't going to tell (them) again"; after all, these men deserved everyones' full attention. That's right: He got up on stage with a microphone and scolded grown men and women to sit down. Needless to say, the grown-ups didn't take too kindly to being scolded at an event for which they paid $100 per couple.

Wait ... what!?? …

Posted by Broad • 12:07 AM •

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Pr0n purveyors resist union advances

I was dying to tell y'all about this yesterday, but I couldn't since it didn't run until today. Living proof that I have the best job in the universe at times. (Since we didn't update the paper's Web site last night, the stuff in brackets are edits I suspect were made.)

No, I didn't get to see any of the, ahem, merchandise, but is it necessary for me to tell you that I basically choked on my own tongue trying not to laugh while I interviewed the GM?

Wait ... what!?? …

HOBART � Three former workers for a local warehouse that distributes adult-oriented entertainment and products claim their employer fired them for wanting to unionize its workers.

More than 40 Teamsters have been picketing all week in front of Leisure Time Entertainment, [address redacted], for what they say are unfair labor practices on behalf of Leisure Time and its general manager, Cara Jacques. No current employees are on the picket lines, according to Les Lis, trustee and organizer for Teamsters Local 142 in Gary.

Workers approached Local 142 to be its collective bargaining unit, and he instructed them to organize on their own time, Lis said. The workers approached others during break time to sign petitions to form a union.

During one of these times, a unidentified man came into the break room, grabbed the petition, made a copy of it and returned a copy with a few of the names crossed off it, Lis said.

Eric Rogers, of Gary, was one of the names. He was fired first.

�They said it was for solicitation during work hours,� Rogers said.

Clyde Byndum and Anthony Brown, both also of Gary, had also signed the petition, They, too, were fired.

�They got me because of �points,�� Byndum said. �We�re allowed 10 points before we get fired, and one day, I couldn�t come in to work because I had to put a new starter on my car. They let me finish out the week, and 10 minutes before quitting time, they came down with four different citations and fired me.�

All three of the firings violate the National Labor Relations Act, Lis said, because they speak to unfair labor practices. The local has since filed its petition with the National Labor Relations Board in Chicago.

�The boss isn�t even supposed to know who�s involved in organizing, so who�s this guy giving them the information?� he said. �(The firings) puts a scare into the other people, but all they want is a livable wage, respect on the job and just cause for termination.�

[Before they were fired, Rogers and Byndum were making $9 per hour. The company offers health insurance "which we can't afford," according to Rogers, and a 401K plan.]

Jacques said her attorneys are waiting for the petition to be filed; otherwise, she couldn�t speak to anything other than the employees are trying to organize.

Leisure Time Entertainment also has [branches in Las Vegas, Louisiana, West Hollywood and Canoga Park, Calif. Workers in at least one of the California branches aren't unionized].

Oh, whatEVER.

Posted by Broad • 1:54 PM • (0) Trackbacks

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Another Kennedy conspiracy

Most mornings after I wake up, pee and feed the boys, I start my day by jumping online and checking to see if any of my stories made it to the paper's Web site, and then I check the competition to see if whoever was there from them wrote the story better than I did. So, I'm perusing the competition today and I see the headline "Controversial sign in Hobart to be removed." And immediately I froze, because I just knew that somehow, someway, one of the one guy's idiot friends was involved. Sure enough, I wasn't wrong.

Wait ... what!?? …

I won't link to the story because, well, it's the competition, and we didn't have anything on it in today's edition. But since I'm covering the folo on it Saturday, here's the scam: The friend in question -- and I do consider him a friend, even though he is the one guy's best friend, which somewhat limits my claim to him -- is a rather talented artist who specializes in recreating antique-looking signs; he and the one guy had a business in New Buffy, Mich. a couple years back, in fact. And when they closed the business, Friend brought back a bunch of the signs he created and hung them on the front of the crib he rents. One of the signs, put up on his front porch's roof, reads "Texas School Book Depository" in big red letters.

Now, Hobart, for those not in-the-know, is a small city southeast Gary known for producing steelworkers and a once-phenomenal high school football team. It's the kind of place that, if you don't look like you belong, people make it known that ya ain't supposed to be there. I mean, you can have purple and green hair and wear your jeans down to your ass cheeks and be one of them, but they know when you're not of them. Like, I'm born and bred in these here parts, and I still get the hairy eyeball from people who don't know me when I go there to drink or visit family. They must be able to tell each other by smell or something, and I must not smell like I'm from there, because they just know. They hide their predjudice and narrow-mindedness behind middle-class ideology, and they're really patriotic: The All-American town. Think of the movie "All the Right Moves," except cleaner and with slightly bigger, more opulent houses in some parts, and you're just about there.

Knowing Friend like I do, I can guarantee you he never gave any thought to why he created the sign or why he hung it up where he did; if he gave it any thought, the sign was something interesting to recreate, and the roof was the only place on the front of the crib that it would fit. Unfortunately for Friend, however, he lives on a main thoroughfare through town, and people took offense to it. Yes, yes they did. They took offense to a sign that depicted the place where Lee Harvey Oswald turned President Kennedy into brain pudding some 40 years ago. And not only did they take offense to it, they complained to their councilman, who wrote Friend and asked him to take it down.

So, you'd think that he would be sufficiently outraged and would climb up to the rooftop screaming "FREE SPEECH! FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION! I'm SO getting the NEA up y'all's asses!" But he's not. Instead, he's going to take the thing down and hold an auction for it on Saturday, sort of like the dreaded Bartman Ball. I hope there's burning involved.
Oh, whatEVER.

Posted by Broad • 4:03 AM • (0) Trackbacks

Friday, March 12, 2004

Shameless product pimping, pt. 1

Another thing I'm really not supposed to do as a reporter is be a mouthpiece for products, because that shows bias, implies impropriety, blah blah blah and so and so forth. Well, since I a) already wrote the story, and b) made no secret of accepting the case of potato chips given to me because I went straight into the office and shared it, I have absolutely no compunction in saying what I'm about to say:

BUY PEERLESS POTATO CHIPS!

Wait ... what!?? …

Posted by Broad • 12:21 AM • (0) Trackbacks

It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving? The frigging church. My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know. I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment! I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.

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