’k, guys, the previews for next week’s Nip/Tuck: a mouse growing a human ear so Rosie O’Donnell can get an ear transplant? Bitch, please. This season is waaaaaaay over the top, although I do like how Larry Hagman’s and Brooke Shields’ characters are developing.

Is it entirely too cynical of me to think that, as I watched this group of kids at a school board meeting defend a program that's undergone big funding cuts, that they were just dorks looking for a place to belong*!?? Or am I merely observing the fact that of all people under the age, say, 18, one-millionth of a percent of them aren't completely socially retarded!??

Seems I can't go anywhere anymore without someone whining to my editors about it: I was covering a Lake Station Council meeting the other night, and it was running rather long. What do I mean by long? It started at 6 p.m., and when I left at 10 p.m., THERE WERE STILL TWO ITEMS ON THE AGENDA. Well, as I left (and I'm sure shortly before while I was sitting there), I let out more than a few disgusted sighs in protest. And a couple people who my editor swore she wouldn't divulge (though I bet I know who they are) called to complain that my behavior was "inappropriate."

Hmmph.

First of all, my editor and I laughed about it before I promised to refrain from showing my disgust at meetings, so please don't think that calling them will get me in trouble; in fact, if anyone details my behavior to them, it's usually ME, so really, you're just wasting your breath. But let's look, shall we, at the councilmen's behavior for a moment -- is it really appropriate for them to call a 35-minute recess during a meeting already in progress so that two of them can go to another meeting that they said was going to take only 15 minutes!?? Is it also fair of them to belabor a point for 10, 15 minutes on the money for the park equipment during the meeting, when they could, oh, I don't know, wait until it's been adjourned!?? Keep in mind, folks, that I wasn't the only person waiting for them to finish the hell up -- hell, the mayor herself left at 9:45 p.m. because she's diabetic and had to get something to eat. And let's not forget when one of the councilmen asked the council president to explain something he'd said and he, out of frustration with having to repeat for the fifth or sixth time, told her to "get the cotton out of her ears" right there in front of the public. But they're going to complain about me expressing my disgust!?? Ooooooo-kaaaaay. You do that.

So yesterday brought the end to a case that I had been following for the past year, year and half, and while I wish it had ended differently, I can totally understand and appreciate why they settled.

Y'all recall me bitching about the Town of Schererville, right? Well, among all the other crap, a former employee -- the only woman in the Public Works department -- sued it in the fed for sexual harassment and discrimination. Sounds like a stereotype, right? Yeah, except the woman had NINE YEARS OF EVIDENCE against these bastards -- signed depositions, pictures, journals, you name it. And then after the suit was filed, the town fired her. (Yes, Indiana is an at-will state, but the reasons they cited for her firing were dubious at best.) Anyway, so as the parties were waiting for summary judgment, they attempted to settle, with the town lowballing so bad, it was cute; I mean, they fuckin' fired her after systematically harassing her for nine years, and they're going start the bidding at $20K!??! Please. All she ever wanted was her job back and for them to leave her the hell alone.

Well, last week, the offer reached $85K just as she and her husband won summary judgment on most counts, but then the town said at the pretrial yesterday that it would file a motion saying if she won any less than $85K from the jury, she would be responsible for paying the town's court prep costs -- and the judge said he would grant it. He also told them at the hearing that while he was sure they had a case and was perfectly ready to hear it, they were taking a tremendous gamble; he's heard cases that he was SURE would come back with a just award that came back with a big fat nothing. Long story short, they decided to settle, which in the big picture, I don't blame them. But I SO wanted her to bring those assholes to their KNEES, because they're a shitty bunch who've been abusing the town and the taxpayers for years. Not that this decision doesn't, necessarily, because it's the second time in two years that the town has had to settle a wrongful dismissal case against an employee, and the attorney fees the taxpayers are still paying, and going to pay, are astronomical. But me, I'm all about the humiliation factor -- especially since it was the fucking town attorney who was behind the majority of the decisions in handling both cases. The guy's a nimrod.

Which brings me to why I'm pissed: After calling the attorney who would've TRIED the case and being told that she was referring all inquiries to the town attorney (she's the attorney for the liability insurance), I called Nimrod, and he said the town would be issuing a release "shortly" after first playing dumb as to what I was asking about (jackass), and then asking me how I heard about it already (keeping in mind there's NO GAG ON IT, so the parties could scream it from the rooftops). Well, that release never came to the office, and it sure didn't come to my e-mail, so my story probably looks one-sided, which doesn't bother me since I know what went down, and he's just being a jerk. But a "release" means the town issued it to the competition, too, depriving me of my "scoop." THAT irritates me.

Pal, lemme tell you something: I understand that you're upset and you need to take care of your deal. But insulting my capabilities is neither going to help your situation, nor is it going to gain you an ally in me. Jackass.*

That is all.



*This is what I wish I could've said in response to something about which I can't be more specific out here in the internetwebnetwork. Those who know, know.

No, you big pervs, that's not what it looks like. It is, however, an example of what happens when a reporter decides to rely on phonetic spelling and the desk doesn't question it. (Legend has it that editors are supposed to be able to look at a hed or sentence, and if they can get a double entendre out of it -- even if the hed's, like, "The dog is dead" -- it must change. Don't laugh; that's an important talent to have.) No, that reporter was NOT me, thankyouverymuch (and God); I may not know nothin' about no assburger syndrome, but I'm quite familiar with APSBERGER syndrome; it mimicks autism, but not really. Anyhoo, I can't believe Tara FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT ONE, because I would DIE if I were the reporter who fucked that one up. Literally curl up and die. Fer real. I feel for ya, pal.