Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Dad

Friday, May 21, 2010
Spambots gave me an epiphany

E! Channel’s been playing The Craft for the last few weeks, and I gotta say, I really dig that movie. To me, it’s a smarter, better version of Heathers, and I’m sure my angsty-cool card has been revoked for saying that, but seriously! Fairuza Balk BURIES Christian Slater in terms of over-the-top nutjobs. Just LOOK at her. Anyone who can have cockroaches crawling out her jacket arms? Is badass. Plus, she was hot in it, and all the other performances were nicely low-key for such a campy flick.

Those of you who still blog, do y’all still get spammed in your comments every so often? For as long as I can remember, I’ve been closing out my comments after 48 hours or so, but somehow they figure out how to get through and leave their droppings, or else the comment expire I put on expires or something, I don’t know. But anyway, I got a shit-ton of spam last week on entries I hadn’t thought about in forever, so I took a peek down Memory Lane as I zapped the spam. And as I was doing this, a particular entry grabbed my attention pdq:

“i’m not in the mood for your bullshit. leave me alone.”


That particular entry was about the e-mail the one guy sent me after Cat and I showed up at a party to which we were all invited; problem was, since the party was thrown by HIS friends (and God forbid I have anything to do with HIS friends because, well, they were HIS friends first), he was unhappy, and that was his response when I called him out on it (read: asked him nicely, like a sucker, why he was so rude to me at the party, because he not only didn’t talk to me the whole night, but he stayed directly across from me AT ALL TIMES, as if I smelled). Now normally, TOG doesn’t exist in any meaningful way for me anymore, but seeing that hed made my blood run cold.

But what REALLY kicked in the flop sweat was I wrote after it: I said I admired that he was able to protect his widdle feelings from my harshness (!) and that I would rather he be an asshole to me than ignore me, more or less. Just so I’m crystal here, let me break that down: I said in so many words that I was Ok with this guy treating me like shit—well, maybe not OK ok, but clearly Ok enough to not kick his stupid ass to the curb.

For all my bravada, that right there was—and still is in many ways—me. That scares me.

My issues with anxiety and depression aren’t exactly a secret to y’all, so it was about two weeks after my birthday that I fell into a sinkhole I haven’t experienced since after Dad died. Not sure if my meds stopped working or other external factors played into it, but it was bad enough that my peeps were begging me to get thy flat ass to the brain garage for a tune-up. The episode lasted a good month, month and a half, but for the moment I’m stable, in no small part because I’ve consciously started paying attention to and embracing the nurturing relationships I have and eschewing the ones that aren’t. The endeavor has and hasn’t been easy, but it is what it is, and I’m all right—horrified by what I’ve allowed myself to endure, but getting better.

In other news, Mother turned 75 this week. Do you believe that shit?


Posted by Broad6:24 AM
Monday, September 12, 2005
Ain’t no smilin’ faces lyin’ to the races
I've been informed by a certain wad that I need to be updating more often. Sorry -- long week, sort of.

Last year, I'd wanted to post the whole "where I was when the planes hit on Sept. 11" like many in the blogosphere were doing, but I didn't. Can't remember why -- perhaps it was because by the time the day came and went, I didn't want to look like a tool posting it after "the day." Anyway, I was covering a 9/11 ceremony at our County Government Complex Friday when one of the commanders for one of the Legion posts asked participants if they remember where they were when it happened.

I remember it like it was yesterday ...
Posted by Broad12:18 AM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Another ecosystem bites the dust
From the time I was a wee broad, Mother told me the story of how the summer before she and Dad got engaged, he hightailed it to Alaska. Apparently, the pressure from both sets of parents -- "But he's not Catholic, Anka!" "I want you to marry a college girl, Lee!" -- was bumming him out, so he split. Obviously, they got back together (after Mother gave him 10 kinds of hell for a month or two), but he always talked about the amazing beauty of Alaska: the wildlife, the mountains, the tranquility, but especially the wildlife.

Don't know whether he ever got up to the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge, but in February I covered a talk about it. Below, the article:
Peter Solomon is not what anyone would call a political activist.

A widower with three sons living in Northeastern Alaska as part of the Gwich’in Indian tribe, Solomon feeds his family by hunting and fishing off the coastal plain of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, a giant piece of wilderness shared between Alaska and Canada. But their lifeblood could soon be decimated by oil drills if the federal government has anything to say about it, he told members of the Izaak Walton League of America Monday night.

If oil development is allowed on the plain, the 8,000-member Gwich’in tribe stands to its way of life for the past 20,000 years. For example, caribou, which return to the plain on Prudhoe Bay each summer to give birth, would likely suffer decreased herds because of displacement from drilling, thereby cutting off the tribe’s food supply. Plus, the nature of drilling would destroy acres upon acres of an untouched ecosystem.

”There’s a 65 percent unemployment rate in most of Alaska,” Solomon said, “But as long as we have the right to hunt and fish on our land, that doesn’t hurt us in any way.”

Lenny Kohm, a wildlife conservationist and photographer who spent more than 15 years lecturing about the Gwich’ins’ plight and spends most summers among the tribe, said that the amount of oil that the government hopes to harvest from the plain is about 3.2 billion gallons, or a six-month supply based on normal American usage. And that number can’t be proven.

”There’s a 20 percent chance of (the oil) actually being there,” Kohm said. “When (Spanish explorers) came through Mexico, they destroyed the Aztecs and Mayans, because they needed the gold. Then 150 years ago, we ran the Native Americans out, because we wanted the land. Now, we’re getting ready to do it again, because we need the oil.”

The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, considered a prime piece of land for drilling since 1925, was declared as such in 1980 by the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act by former President Jimmy Carter, Kohm explained. Because the Coastal Plain has always been a target for drilling, however, Carter classified it as a study area until such time that it would be used for other things.

In order for the plains to receive refuge status, a bill before the House of Representatives, H.R. 567 will have to pass. It may not have a shot, however, since President George Bush in his budget for 2006 has earmarked money for the Open Up Arctic Refuge.

”It’s not even a budget item, but he knows that as a budget bill in the Senate, it can’t be filibustered,” Kohm said.

Kohm, along with Kim Novick, Great Lakes Organizer for the Alaska Coalition, pleaded with League members to contact Sen. Richard Lugar to vote against the budget. For his Alaskan Indian “family,” he prays the efforts will work.

”If it passes, that first drill is going to have to come right through here,” Kohm said, pointing to his heart.


Well, now I find out from Rude that it passed 51-49 to drill up the ANWR for oil they can't say for sure is even down there. Big oil (and the Republicans who support it) say that it can be drilled with minimal effect to the environment. Do you buy that? Do you really think that bringing heavy equipment to an area that;s never been exposed to it is going to survive and multiply? Do you think the birds and animals are going to want to come back to that shit every year? And once again, for oil that may not even be there.

Look at those pictures of the ANWR and tell me if you think that's right.
Posted by Broad2:14 PM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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