Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
They’re baaaaaaaaaaack!
Well, color ME naive: The Brazilians are back, and they're stealing more of Joelle's work. How do we know they're the same ones? Well, THE LINKS TO EACH OTHERS' BLOGS might be the first clue.

And here I thought it was all United Nations up in here and that they weren't going to be ignorant anymore and steal people's stuff. What a sap I am. I'm extremely disappointed, ladies. And while you're at it, why don't you tell me about the "ugly Americans" again.
Posted by Broad • 12:20 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, August 23, 2004
Fuck the train; fix the fucking highway
Do you know that it took me a fucking hour to get home from lunch with Tara when it should've taken me only 15 minutes? What the hell, man!?!?! That blew.

I sent the letter today -- certifed it and everything. I know the fam suggested I wait, but honestly, it didn't take a weekend for me to know that I'm not going to put up with her bullshit. So, I'm sure I'll have an update later this week, because if I know my little sister, she's NOT going to go down without having the last word. Sigh.
Posted by Broad • 7:24 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, August 20, 2004
Wookiewookiewookiewookiewookie … shut-up!
Ok, so now I have on this one bra, and my girls? Are in. my. armpits, and I'm fascinated and annoyed at the same time. Yeah, TMI, but it ain't right.

Got a lot dancing around in my head today -- much having to do with the one guy and how much I need to see him -- but there's really no time for mush because THE BAND IS PLAYING TONIGHT! Woo! Kerry won't be singing lead this time, but they're kicking out new jams. And Kaffy and Winston are coming, as are Tara and her man Sean, so the band is like "The girls are back together!" (Tara and I were unabashed groupies back in the day.) Oh, and Greta's coming, too, whether she wants to or not.

Good times, yo.
Posted by Broad • 5:55 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, August 19, 2004
It’s all about meme
Courtesy of Zoot, who I haven't seen 'round these her parts in AGES, I tell you. AGES. Ahem.
Posted by Broad • 11:40 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Now I want my own crib
Or at least some new end tables or something: With Greta getting all kinds of cool antique furniture from Customs in Miller and Tara talking about all the horrors of house hunting, I'm getting this weird urge to own property. It's not going to happen for, like, EVER, and it's not that I really want to move from my present crib, because I like my present crib, and it's convenient for my travels. Perhaps I can talk the landlords into going condo, or at least letting me paint the place anything but freakin' white.

Meanwhile, I'm about to break a story tomorrow that's going to have a certain muni on its KNEES, and I. can't. WAIT. (Get ready, Ogger, because things may never be the same.) It's a lock, too; have the proof and everything, unlike the other story I was so jazzed about. That one hasn't panned out ... yet. But I of course will post this one once it's been published.
Posted by Broad • 4:19 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
The lust that shouldn’t speak its name
So I have talked to Mer a couple times since she got back to Brooklyn; she's fine, although exhausted from a) her visit, b) her winding down from some personal crap she was dealing with before she came out and c) from Rebecca finally moving out and into the downstairs apartment (so it's like she hasn't really left, but at least Mer has her own new furniture in her crib. Meanwhile, Rebecca has yet to call about getting a phone hooked up or utilities switched, so Mer is making sure to enjoy as much air conditioning as humanly possible. Can't say I wouldn't do the same.). The thing that freaks me out? Apparently, the physical relations were such that she actually wants to hit it with our pal again.

(shudders)

Why does this affect me in any way, shape or form? It doesn't; I mean, whatever it takes to get your rocks off, right? And it helped her feel better about her stuff going on at home, so good on him. I'm still just irrritated that he was such a giant jackass to me when she was here that I'm just like, ick. It's like, I set the deal up, so you can at least not a) screw in my house, like I asked you not to, and b) not try to push my buttons over and over and over until I want to poke your eyes out with my pen.
Posted by Broad • 2:39 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
s’Nap time, everyone
I've been up since the literal buttcrack of dawn to cover a story, but it was a cool story, and one that I took photos of (some of which are already posted -- yahoo! photos, "regionbroad711", lookit). Homie needs a nap before she does anything else, though.
Posted by Broad • 5:51 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, August 16, 2004
Man, my boobs hurt
Jeez, you'd think I was knocked up or something. Good Lord. I'm NOT, but ... wow. I liked it better when they were smaller.

The mood is slightly less crabby today -- had a good time at the luau last night (although can I say getting high with your soon-to-be 26 year-old former neighbor that you used to crack upside the head for being a dillhole when you were kids? Tres surreal), got my hair pruned and touched up today and just had dinner and muy strawberry margaritas with Kaffy and her Winston, who was quite lovely and rather hot in a distinguished sort of way. Didn't get to swing home and pick up the camera, so photos of the damn ugliest Hawaiian shirt on the face of the planet (tm) are still forthcoming.

But crabby's crabby, so I'll leave you with a song:
Posted by Broad • 1:24 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, August 15, 2004
The one where God hides my cell phone
It was in my purse, and then I when I put my purse down, I heard the phone fly out in to the back seat. But then, when I went to retrieve it, it was no where to be found -- not under my seat, not in the shoebox, not in the bag in which the shoebox was, not in the pants tangled up back there (a couple pairs of pants I've been meaning to return, so relax, man), not on the seat, nothing. Still haven't found it, and probably because if I did, I would want to call the one guy and tell him stuff.
Posted by Broad • 5:54 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, August 14, 2004
It just keep growing and growing …
A quick shout out to three more homies hooked in at Chez Broad: We got Amy over at Fish Out of Water, Rin over at Southern Bitch and, since I haven't figured out what she wants to be called, "Snidge" over at Snidget. Welcome to the party, y'all.

Speaking of parties, I have to pound out two assignments before Greta and I go to my oldest and dearest friend's pig roast tonight. AND I have to take Mother to lunch. Since I know y'all will want to see the damn ugliest Hawaiian shirt on the face of the planet (TM), I'll do some lovemaking and phototaking with camera (since the other lovemaking? Not so much, and I'm sure I'll be ready to share that whole mess later).

Mahalo, yo.
Posted by Broad • 3:04 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, August 13, 2004
What’s a Broad gotta do?
All the talk here about sex, booze and pills, and all I get is a 1 percent increase in the Gematriculator thingy? What a screw.
Posted by Broad • 1:58 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Hate it when that happens, pt. 65
Don't you just hate it when you get up in the morning, and you know the first thing you usually do before you trudge to the can is take your meds, but then an hour later, you forget whether you did or not, because there are some days when you don't take them just because? And then you can't really take another because going to 300 mgs from 150 might put you in the brain garage or worse? Gah.

Yup, got a bit of an edge to me today; it's probably just PMDD or During-MDD or whatever we call it when our hormones go batshit, but I hate it. Oh, and Mother wants to hang out with me today. Again, I say, "Gah."
Posted by Broad • 1:32 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Shed the skin you’re in
Surprise, yo! I was going to wait until my six-month anniversary on the 23rd to trot out this here new skin, but once Joelle showed me the mock-up, I totally couldn't resist. And once again, I gave her a set of retarded instructions (well, at least they were slightly less retarded than last time -- she had something to run with, at least), and then she came up with the rest. She's brilliant, and I lurve her mad genius.

And hey, if you're still digging the other skin, party on with it. It's your eyes, man. But I'm going to be digging this one for awhile.
Posted by Broad • 11:51 PM • (1) Trackbacks
See? And y’all think I’m crazy
In my mail today:
Hi,

Nice blog site and resume! I'm writing because of the toothpaste commercial you referenced. I'm trying to track down the truth regarding that toothpaste commercial you mentioned. I'm like 95% positive she says "pink in the stink." I've even closed my eyes and looked away in order to listen closely, and I'm convinced that the producers there are slipping something through for our comedic edification. Am interested if you've heard any more about it or have seen the commercial again. Take Care,
(Name withheld by request)
Huh!?! HUH!?!?! See!?!?! I'm not the only big perv in the universe.
Posted by Broad • 7:51 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Fire and cold water? Don’t mix
Who knew that, when you pour cold water in a glass bowl over a lit candle, the glass bowl would crack!?!? I should've, because I drove around with a hillbilly windshield for years on the Snowball that happened because of a crack that grew from the weather running moderately to ass-cold. But I clearly forgot, because I just cracked the oil infuser I just bought the other day, too, from one of my favorite little shops, Customs Imports in the Miller section of Gary. (I also picked up a really cool antique Chinese rice bucket that I'm using for magazines.) Damn it. Ladies, y'all know what I'm talking about, right? Anyone know where I could find another little glass bowl for it? Because I've got this awesome Aromatique mango oil that's making me very happy right now on a day that didn't necessarily start out that way. And I still haven't heard from Mer, and that bothers me, too.

But on a funner note, my column about bad dressers at the fair ran today, and that was cool. I set my sights on this woman who was not only wearing a skirt and club top, but 4-inch pink and aqua stiletto mules. I mean, who wears that to the freakin' fair!?!?! But I suppose it could be worse, like the co-worker of Kaffy's who saw a chick riding the rolly coasters at Great America without unnywears under her skirt (shudders).
Posted by Broad • 2:19 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 69 of 87 pages « First  <  67 68 69 70 71 >  Last »
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].



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