Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
More sex tips, please
It seems that the wisdom of The Mighty Wad is good and true: A friend of mine (who has asked not to be named for our purposes here) to whom I described some of his techniques has apparently used them on her loaver to excellent success.

Perhaps we can persude the Wad to impart with more of his sekrets ...
Posted by Broad6:48 AM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
My days of crappy dialup are numbered
Welp, finally made the call to Comcast: as of Friday between 1 and 5, I'll be coming at y'all broadband stylee. Yeah, you're right -- DSL would've been a bit cheaper and would've handled my needs just as easily. Unfortunately, according to the braintrust that is SBC, DSL isn't offered for my number. (Ultimately, that's a happy thing for me since I was trying to put off going back to SBC as long as I possibly could.)

Next up: Vonage for my phone, because my home phoner will port! Woo!
Posted by Broad1:32 PM
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sleeeeeeeeepy, I tell you
What's up with people not letting me sleep in? I have to be at the Proescuting Attorney's office in Crown Point tomorrow at 10 ayem because a group of people are protesting the PA's continuing to pursue the death penalty for a cop killer. Yeah, that doesn't sound early, except it was SUPPOSED to start at 11. Weh ...

Other than that, can I tell you how moist the new MT is making me? No? I can appreciate that, then. But speaking of moist, I suppose I should've told y'all that the title of yesterday's post is actually the title of a skin flick Wad and I laughed about when we stopped by the porno store during our travels Saturday night.
Posted by Broad7:21 PM
Sunday, May 15, 2005
I was tight yesterday
Now that I FINALLY got paid and my bills are (for the most part) caught up, there's going to be some changes here in ol' Chez Broad, the first of which is an MT upgrade that is supposed to keep the spammer dicks from crashing the party. The rest ... well, Christina over at BonaFide and I have been giggling for a couple days now over the possibilities, so you'll just have to wait and see. (As will I, because even though we've been giggling, I told her she has free rein, so I have no idea what she's going to come up with. But gleefully rubbing hands together is always a good sign, in my book.)

Meanwhile, I'm wrestling with great DSL/broadband debate. I know I need to do one of the two, and after talking with EWK, I was all set to hook up to broadband and then do Vonage for my phone. But then Wad and I did our fajita party last night (well actually, it was burritos because apparently, you have to ask for regular fajitas by name at this joint -- and don't even get me started about the MUENSTER cheese (!) topping said burritos, because even though I love me some Muenster cheese, on a freaking burrito!?!), and he said that DSL would work fine for my purposes. So now, I need to figure out what will be cheapest. Sigh.
Posted by Broad8:34 AM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Leave it to a lawyer to piss up my rope
So yesterday brought the end to a case that I had been following for the past year, year and half, and while I wish it had ended differently, I can totally understand and appreciate why they settled.

Y'all recall me bitching about the Town of Schererville, right? Well, among all the other crap, a former employee -- the only woman in the Public Works department -- sued it in the fed for sexual harassment and discrimination. Sounds like a stereotype, right? Yeah, except the woman had NINE YEARS OF EVIDENCE against these bastards -- signed depositions, pictures, journals, you name it. And then after the suit was filed, the town fired her. (Yes, Indiana is an at-will state, but the reasons they cited for her firing were dubious at best.) Anyway, so as the parties were waiting for summary judgment, they attempted to settle, with the town lowballing so bad, it was cute; I mean, they fuckin' fired her after systematically harassing her for nine years, and they're going start the bidding at $20K!??! Please. All she ever wanted was her job back and for them to leave her the hell alone.

Well, last week, the offer reached $85K just as she and her husband won summary judgment on most counts, but then the town said at the pretrial yesterday that it would file a motion saying if she won any less than $85K from the jury, she would be responsible for paying the town's court prep costs -- and the judge said he would grant it. He also told them at the hearing that while he was sure they had a case and was perfectly ready to hear it, they were taking a tremendous gamble; he's heard cases that he was SURE would come back with a just award that came back with a big fat nothing. Long story short, they decided to settle, which in the big picture, I don't blame them. But I SO wanted her to bring those assholes to their KNEES, because they're a shitty bunch who've been abusing the town and the taxpayers for years. Not that this decision doesn't, necessarily, because it's the second time in two years that the town has had to settle a wrongful dismissal case against an employee, and the attorney fees the taxpayers are still paying, and going to pay, are astronomical. But me, I'm all about the humiliation factor -- especially since it was the fucking town attorney who was behind the majority of the decisions in handling both cases. The guy's a nimrod.

Which brings me to why I'm pissed: After calling the attorney who would've TRIED the case and being told that she was referring all inquiries to the town attorney (she's the attorney for the liability insurance), I called Nimrod, and he said the town would be issuing a release "shortly" after first playing dumb as to what I was asking about (jackass), and then asking me how I heard about it already (keeping in mind there's NO GAG ON IT, so the parties could scream it from the rooftops). Well, that release never came to the office, and it sure didn't come to my e-mail, so my story probably looks one-sided, which doesn't bother me since I know what went down, and he's just being a jerk. But a "release" means the town issued it to the competition, too, depriving me of my "scoop." THAT irritates me.
Posted by Broad5:17 AM
Friday, May 13, 2005
Once again, Snidgey and I are twins
Posted by Broad1:20 PM
Shoes! Glorious shoes!
Guess where I'M going tomorrow!?!? No idea? Well, I'm going to interview shoe designer Michele K, who's a native of the town where I spent my formative years. The best part!?!? SHE'S GOING TO BE AT NORDSTROM'S! In the SHOE DEPARTMENT! BECAUSE SHE HAS HER OWN SHOE LINE! (spins gleefully in her office chair).

I'm apporopriately moist in all the right places! Wheeeeeeeeee!
Posted by Broad7:26 AM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Get in the game, everyone
Saw this over at Kaffy the badass' last night and then Mac picked up on it this morning, but our good friends over at Kraft have signed on as a sponsor for the 2006 Gay Games, to be held in Chicago. That's the cool thing. The not-cool? The dolts over at some fundie nut hut (I know who it is, but no face time for them) have called upon their masses to boycott Kraft and its products (which as one commenter over at Mac's put it, "But… if they boycott Kraft, what will they EAT? Everyone knows that people like that make all their casseroles out of a box." Heh. Well done!). Well, we can play that game, too, so here's who you gotta contact for giving the love and support:

Kraft Foods
CEO Roger K. Deromedi
3 Lakes Dr.
Northfield, IL 60093
Phone: 847-646-2000
Fax: 847-646-6005
TOLL FREE: 1-800-323-0768
Or, e-mail them here.
Posted by Broad7:36 AM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Yeah, because they’re not USING or anything …
If there was every a case to be made for Nicole to get back on the horse, this would be it, because at least then, she didn't look quite so bad.


[Image courtesy of Defamer]
Posted by Broad3:47 PM
Done bought into her own hype
So Saturday, Kaffy was having her Roots o' Doom(tm) eviscerated by EWK, and afterward we convened at a local European restaurant to consume more food than humanly possible when the subject turned to Oprah and her ever-changing shtick. Now, I loves me some Oprah, but we all agreed that this weight-loss business has colored her affected more than any other time she's dropped a ton of weight.

I use that to segue into my big issue, which is the way she handled an interview on today's show. Anyone catch it -- the one on women who were involved with child molesters? In the first segment, she talked to this woman, Jody Bowman, who shot dead the pigfucker that molested her child. So Jody retold the whole story -- it'd already aired on Court TV -- and then it was time for Oprah to talk to ask Jody about the signs of molesters living in your crib and what she'd have done differently, etc. Now, I have no doubt that Oprah's staff does big-time due diligence before letting a guest come forward and that when she goes on stage, she's loaded for bear. Also? She has a limited time for each segment. But sometimes, that's the problem with knowing too much when you go to interview and having too little time, because she was clearly leading Jody into the answers she needed to fit her spin. Does Oprah know what she's talking about? Having been a victim herself, yeah, of course. And I seriously doubt that Jody was lying. But I don't think she handled that part of the interview well, because it came off contrived. Watch it and see if you agree.

OR watch it anyway, because it really was a good show.
Posted by Broad8:48 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Well, isn’t THIS odd!?!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

[Hey Snidgey -- I think we've just found where we're not the same, no!?]
Posted by Broad8:40 AM
Monday, May 09, 2005
“Bad Titty!” and cock rings
Because THAT won't attract the spammer dicks or anything.

So yeah, pretty provocative title, right!?! Well, tonight was cheap beer night at the Amarillo Roadkill, a Monday-evening tradition the Wad and I are trying to establish with some sort of regularity, and while I've been sworn to secrecy as to the nature of our conversations amid the sanctuary of the Roadkill and authorized to use the above in title only, it's NOT -- I repeat, NOT -- what it looks like. (I mean, for the love of God, people. It's the Wad, fer chrissake.) Rather, think of it as an inside joke that wouldn't be funny to anyone unless you were there at the time. It's a shame, however, that I've been sworn to secrecy, because tonight, the Wad reminded me of why it is I wish he were my real baby brother. Again, I know I'm not being specific, but trust me when I say that he amazed me with his insight, especially when it comes to the SoW. (For those of you not familiar with the Wad lexicon, that would be "Spawn of Wad.")

Anyway, so the latest in Chez Broad other than my fer-real crackhead cousin showing up on my doorstep last week? Notta lotta, but I suppose that's a good one to share, right? Yeah, I get home from a drive, and I'm walking out of the can half-nekkid when my buzzer goes off. I ask who it is, and she announces herself, and I'm like, "Who!?!" because it's like, why the hell would she be at MY crib. So I peek out the front window and sure enough, there she was, looking healthier than the last time I saw her, but still, my crackhead cousin was on my doorstep -- how does one handle that!?! If you're me, you let her up for a couple hours, allow her to fix a couple Jim Beams and Pepsi and hope that the time she spent in jail actually sunk into her head like she swears it has (not to mention check the ring thingy in your can that holds all your precious jewelry to make sure she hasn't horked anything). Of course, if your other cousin is correct, all the stuff the crackhead says about jail fundamentally changing her is a load of crap and she was probably sucking the glass dick in the can during the three or four times she went in there, but you know, you keep hoping she would at least have the sense to not bring that crap into your crib. Besides, it's not like I can prove that she was or wasn't because allegedly, crack doesn't smell.

But what really scares me even moreso than the fact that she may have brought wack crack into the crib is her mad lying skillz; like the Boy Wonder, she's one of those that concocts the exact blend of truth and bullshit to get away with just about anything, except she's MUCH better at it than he is. That's what scares me the most. Good thing I used my head and, save for the family stuff that I thought her dad, my cool uncle, should know, I kept my yap shut about the personal stuff.
Posted by Broad7:35 PM
Another butt-crack of dawn assignment …
This time, at a local hospital for a surgical procedure. Should be interesting.

Back later.
Posted by Broad2:34 AM
Friday, May 06, 2005
Me. Spiritually

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative
















What is Your World View?
created with

[Horked from everyone's favorite bitchy badass, who so wants to kick YOUR stupid ass, too. WORD.]
Posted by Broad4:01 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
More hilarity from Bensonhurst
I'm in therapy for having bad taste, (Broad).

--Mer on the state of her affairs
Posted by Broad3:44 PM
Page 2 of 3 pages  <  1 2 3 >
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

/> Wanna make a bunch of money doing what you're doing right now?

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The Affiliates Program is a great way to make money with your website. All you have to do is place links on your site to When your site visitors click on your links and make purchases at, you earn 25%-30% of the sale. Sign up today!

Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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