-- Me and him discussing the relative merits of this one Web site that I'm SURE he'll mention because he wants me to have that kind of crap coming here.

that my tub of Vaseline is sitting on my desk, when it's usually in my linen closet. And my cousin and her boyfriend were staying in here.

(shudders)

Hey, everyone! Mac's hosting a coloring contest, so get your faux Kevyn Aucoin on and play along!



Here's the deets, and here's the pic.

So much so, it's scary ...

[Begotten from the hot and spicy bitchbook]

Not only did the women judging the "Pretty as a Picture" pie baking contest this morning NOT let me talk directly to the judges, but they DIDN'T LET ME HAVE ANY PIE. AND they were mean.

I was promised pie, yo.

Did y'all see this about how Marilyn Monroe REALLY died, allegedly?

Lookit

Pardon the pun, but holy shit.

Just got a call from Tara: Her father-in-law died today. From what they can tell, Mr. Kingston went out to the garage about 4:30 this afternoon to get something, and it happened then -- either he fell or had a heart attack or aneurysm or whatever kills people all sudden-like. When Sean found him, he was blue.

I was over at Tara's and Sean's last night; his older sister had a Tastefully Simple party, and we were hanging out and wrapping it up when Mr. and Mrs. Kingston stopped over on their way to church. We walked upstairs and complimented Tara on her redecorating acumen with the bathroom and laughed at how Sean is quite the redecorator himself with his direction in the Master bedroom. Then we came downstairs and, as Mr. K was pulling out his wallet to pay the sister for the stuff Mrs. K bought, I went up to him like, "Hey! since you're giving it away over here ..." And he laughed and gave me five, and then did it again to make 10. Then they went to church.

Needless to say, Sean is a basketcase right now, and Tara's not doing too much better.

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.

What pisses you off?
Created by ptocheia

-- Another from the hip and Sassy Rebel

-- Snidgey upon hearing I was going to the Lake County Fair to cover the squash weigh-in today.

I mean, Christ on a cracker, yo. What's a broad gotta do to get some action up in here!??! It's like, you can't still be pissed at me, right!?!? It was just a party, and now it's done. Can we PLEASE move on and get back to the hot monkey sex?!?! PLEASE!??! I'll beg if I gotta.

Oh, and then? My replacement cell phone lost a hinge, so now, I can't answer it like a normal person. So that makes TWO cell phones I have to replace. Sigh.

-- Mer on Rebecca's mental state

From the lovely Col:

for my girl Snidge? Today's a rotten day, so she could use some of it.

Just when I thought I wasn't going to have talk about Crackhead anymore, I get this: Her one dealer friend? Wants to shut me up.

Like that?

The story goes that Crackhead said the guy "heard" from his "cop friend on the force in which I live" that I was asking about him, and that if she didn't shut me up, he'd have to "take care of it." Well, she was like, "I don't even talk to her," but she saw to it that I got word. Translation: When I reported the burglary, I told the detective that the reason she was even out here in my area is because she was hanging out with some dude in town. So, the cops probably came to his house looking for her, and he got pissed and bitched at her about it. I mean, seriously, the town force here isn't that big that it would likely even have officers in cahoots with dealers. What the fuck is she talking about?

Yawn.

Nevertheless, this guy allegedly called my uncle/her dad looking for me, so I'm going to talk to my uncle tomorrow and see if he brings it up. If he does, I'm then going to have him call the cops and verify it so I can file a complaint. That way, if I end up dead or beaten within an inch of my life, it'll be less work for them.

Just kidding. Sort of.

Although, I'm probably a little more twisted than la Snidge: