Nicole Kidman: Loved her look, even with the blonde hair and the massive forehead.
Jon Stewart was entirely too hip and smart for the Oscars. Bring back Steve Martin.
Charlize: Whose idea was it to take the big-ass bow off the butt of her dress and put it on her shoulder? Seriously.
Jessica Alba: Needs a sandwich.
Rachel Weisz: Why did she have velcro straps around her arms?
Jennifer Garner: Hasn't weaned Violet off the boob yet, in case you couldn't tell.
Keira Knightley: Eh. She looked all right. She's got a big ol' moon face.
Three-six: Holla!
Naomi Watts: Couldn't find a seamstress to fix her dress after she got part of it caught in a paper shredder.
Michelle Williams: Is my new Emmy Rossum. And nice red lipstick with the canary yellow dress.
Rachel McAdams: Putting a '40s 'do with a '60s frock doesn't work.
Jennifer Lopez: Usually I hate some aspect of the looks she goes for, but she was dead-on this time. Loved her dress, loved her hair, everything.
Felicity Huffman: Looked like used the double-sided tape for more than just keeping her dress in place.
Reese: Fine, but too conservative for my taste. Also, I didn't take her "real women" comment as a slam against Felicity playing a transsexual, but apparently others have. Who knew?
Dolly: There are no words for glammed-up trailer trash. It just kind of speaks for itself.
Ziyi Zhang: Gor-JUS.
Uma: I think she looked all right. Better than that other crap she wore a year or two ago.

Your turn.