Every four years, the United Methodist Church holds its General Conference, whereby all the Church important people talk about the direction the church is going, set budgets and so on and so forth. Well, at the 2000 conference, the church voted overwhelmingly to not allow gays in the ministry. Not altogether a big shocker, but Kaffy's church, which has a large gay population, remained cautiously optimistic that four years could do a lot in the way of educating and changing the hearts and minds of many.

Think you know where this is going? Betcha you don't, because I didn't see this coming a mile away, and I'm usually good at that kind of stuff.

Well, at the 2004 General Conference held April 27 to May 7, the Church important people voted again on whether to allow gays in the ministry. This time, the measure was defeated by only four votes. Progress, right? Yeah, no, not at all. Know why? Because the Church important people also voted that its official position on homosexuality is that it's "incompatible with Christian teaching." Yup. Not only that, but Church finance people can now cut off funding for any parish that's "promoting the acceptance of homosexuality," unless it has to do with HIV/AIDS or educational events where no one can consider the church pro-gay.

With me so far? Because we ain't done yet: Pastors and other Church leader people can kick you out of the church if you're gay, if you perform gay marriages and any kind of ceremony celebrating gay marriage. Oh yeah, and to even the playing field, you can also get kicked out for premarital sex and-or having an affair if you're married.

Needless to say, Kaffy's church will probably be looking for a new home.

[ED NOTE: If you want to read more, click here.]Oh, whatEVER.