1) That her perfectly abundant, perfectly permed hair wasn't held back by a banana clip, circa 1987;
2) that she wasn't wearing a hot pink shirt with sparkles and things hanging off under the arms, circa 1992;
3) That she wasn't driving in a late-model, black Trans-Am with the license plate "4Mikey" (no offense, mikey), circa 1985, and -- AND
4) that she wasn't wearing HEAD GEAR, circa 6th grade.
Aren't there laws about that stuff? I mean, wow.