The whole family somewhat-reconciliation thing has brought a new level of paranoia up in Chez Broad here, namely that the potential for them reading me and what I have to say has risen exponentially. And a lot of that stuff, especially when it comes to them, is not what one would call complimentary. (Yeah, I know. Shut-up.) Not that it has to be or even should be, because there was -- and still is -- a lot of hurt and anger on my end, and I don't forsee that changing anytime soon. The thing is, these people don't have the best track record with understanding things from my point of view, and I'm freaked the fuck outconcerned that if they were to see me calling BFKAS a fucking bitch (as I have several times) or even calling her "BFKAS," the wolf pack is going to turn on me yet again, and I'm just, like, (shudders). Of course, my panic could all be for nothing because they could conceivably know about Chez Broad already, and that wouldn't necessarily surprise me, though what would is that they haven't said anything about it. Seriously, I just don't see them getting what this is all about. Maybe B-Dubs would, and CA knows about it, but that's about it.

Last week when I was chatting with Julie about getting my vanity site back up, I asked her to upgrade me to MT 3.2, which has a password-protection script for it so if I decide to put one on some of the F-ed up Family entries, I could. I haven't decided if I'm going to yet. I mean, if I do, am I censoring myself? Would I scare off potential readers? Or would I be making an already paranoid bunch even moreso (after all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)? I don't know. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

The bullshit has started already, though: The other night when I was talking to CA, she asked me if TOG has said anything about my brother-in-law lately, as if I didn't know that if he had and I told her, she wouldn't go back to BFKAS. No, he hasn't said anything, but if he had, the only things he tells me are things that anyone off the street could (i.e. any one of the colorful fights my sister and BiL have had, because they usually happen around at least five other people that could just as easily tell me). When it comes to the scandalous, though, like if my BiL was having an affair or changing his gender or any other personal thing that boys talk about, he's NOT going to tell me; he values his friends' privacy. More to the point, he also knows I wouldn't be able to keep it quiet. So no, I'm not a secret conduit here, and frankly, it's better that way, because again, wolf pack.

Speaking of, TOG was over last week. He's doing all right; he talked a little bit about Mikiko, but I tried to steer him away from it because it didn't feel to me like he was ready to go there.