SHIT!  I am dying! 

I must call you soon for the details on this.

I’m a big fan of a man who can give good email.

Wow.  Nothing like sounding like a gyno!  Ew.

So things like “cocksocket” are OK while “ mons veneris” is right out? What’s your take on “pudenda”?

Yeah, I was also thinking someone is dating a gyno.  Very sexy

I had a roommate once (not Weas) who was a networking geek and used to sweet talk his conquests using computer terms.

“Let me stick my hard disk in your mainframe”

“Come sit on my user interface”

Why he bragged about such things, I’ll never understand.  Oddly though, it seemed to work for him.

Personally, a pig has a better chance of flying across town to watch an amoeba calculate pi to 1,000,000 places than I do of understanding women at times.

Go figure,
Dix

Ok, Dix, see, we’re talking about NON-geek folk and the types of things that couldn’t be hot for ANYONE. And I can see a specific sector of geek girl getting off on his lame attempts.

But the Weas? Don’t make me go there, dude. Please.

Yes, I’ll thank you to not share any of the Weas’ trademark pillowtalk with us.  I understand it’s illegal to utter in 27 states and lethal to the inhabitants of Tau Gamma 7.

Vogon Master Poet,
Dix

yeah, there’s definitely nothing sexier than using gyno terms while you’re trying to sweet talk someone…

Hahahahaha! Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

Yes, dear, I have finally found your blog.  Are you happy?  You know you are.  Tell David you’re happy.  :D

See, here’s the problem we guys have with naughty emails: how to sound intelligent, get the girl (or guy..or [insert species] if you’re Prince) hot, and NOT sound like the guy who assaulted her last time she was online with “I bet you get complimented on your tits all the time.”

My rules for sexy, erotic electronic communication? 

1. Personalize: If you know what she likes, use it.

2. AVOID THE WORD CUNT.  If she likes the word, then use it.  But only after she does. 

3. Even if you do it a billion times a day, references to anal sex are so difficult to put into words.

4. If the word “pussy” weirds her out..move on.  She’s a strictly missionary girl..::sigh::

5. [just added] Avoid “intrauterine”

6. Remember what you promise/put into her head: 9 times out of 10, you will get asked to back it up.  And if she doesn’t ask you to, she’ll LOVE YOU when you do.

OK..that’s my two cents.  We love your show..you’re #1 on Hamilton Street!

YES, David. I’m VERY happy. (rolls eyes and smiles)

Good advice, however.