While we're on the subject of cops, here's a funny story: I remember covering the opening of Hammond's new police station two years ago. Total state of the art, with Big Brother cameras and everything. I walk into one of the cells, which look like something out of a brain garage, and I see that one bed is a concrete slab, while the top bunk is stainless steel. No pillows, blankets, nothing. Steel toilet, and I don't even think there was TP. So I look at the cops giving me the tour and I say "They don't even get mattresses? Isn't that a little barbaric?"

And the cops look at each other, and then they look me, and they start laughing. Not quite hysterically, but enough that I was like, "What!?"

The one, who just made an outSTANDING arrest the other day by getting a scum-sucking serial rapist off the streets, explained that, well, they can't have things like mattresses or pillows or blankets because there are many ways to kill yourself in jail, and any superfluous items in the cell only heightens the chance that some idiot's going to do something to himself or his cellmate. And anyways, the whole point of jail is IT'S JAIL. It's not supposed to be comfy. Point well taken, obviously.

Next up? The story of when I covered a hostage situation. That was also two years ago.