I'm an apparently intelligent, liberal, disgustingly generous, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
See how compatible you are with me!
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Oh, whatEVER.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? You're talking to the person who got chastised by her editor for wearing a t-shirt that says "Shut up and drink your beer" to a city council meeting. Do I SOUND like someone who puts out that much effort? 2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Only for redeye. I DID censor a photo last week, but only because it made me look like I was losing my hair. (In actuality, it was because I needed a dye job REAL BAD.) 3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? I got Kaffy e-mailing me all the time, and she's in MENSA, for God's sake, so it's fair to say that I embrace the dork. (mmmmwuuuuah, Kaffy!) As far as creeps go, it depends on the creep's intention. Then I may freak out, especially if they've figured out where I live. 4. Do you lie in your blog? Haven't been blogging log enough TO lie, but honestly, there's nothing in my life that warrants lying about. No, really. I mean it. 5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? There was one day when this twat reporter at work really crawled up my ass, and I put out a little message directed at her. But I was coy about it only because the blog had been up for a few days, and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd gotten to me if she was reading. Otherwise, I tend to be more passive-aggressive in real life, but I'm working on it. 6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? Again, I haven't been writing long enough. If I did quit writing, though, I'm pretty sure having people telling me not to wouldn't be motivation, but it probably would keep me keeping on. I just hope my meds never stop working for that to happen. 7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? My therapy? Effexor-XR 150, Babies. Seriously, I've done the therapy thing four different times in my life with three different therapists, and while all of it was useful, my shit's chemical. 8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? Do people really fake nice comments? Wow. That's some desperation. As far as mean comments, please refer to Mac's fine print. She does a stellar job of handling it. 9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? Everyone's got needs, yo. 10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? Well, the thing is, I tend to write like I talk, so if you can handle reading me, you're not missing much with the live version. I do, however, have a loud voice, and that's off-putting to some people. But I'm not overtly gassy or anything. 11. Do you have a job? Define "job." Do I make money doing work? Yeah. But I'm a free-lancer, so some people don't consider that real work. 12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Absolutely. 13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? Well, I already count Emperor Warrior Kendar and Zog as dear friends, but everyone else on my roll has a standing invite to NWI. Some more than others, but I'm pretty easy to get along with. 14. Which bloggers have you made out with? I'm lucky if I get made out with once a month, never mind by anyone in the blogosphere. 15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? I'm a free-lancer. Nuff said. 16. Does your family read your blog? My crazy aunt and uncle were, but they're temporarily unwired. And I've been debating on whether to let my brother know about it, because I do say some fairly disparaging things about his mother (The BFKAS), and I don't know that he needs that stuck up his ass. But he's pretty smart, so he could be. Otherwise, I don't think the rest of the family's computer-savvy enough. 17. How old is your blog? Went live Feb. 23. 18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care? Definitely not, and no, because a) I get my narcissism fed everyday by the work I do, and b) I'm terrified of the whole bandwidth issue. 19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? No, because there's enough of them out there already without hearing my shtick. 20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? No, because I don't usually have money to spare. Now causes, I might eventually. 21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? It would depend on how much I made and if my accountant thought I needed to. 22. Is blogging narcissistic? Does Christina Aguilera look like she reeks of ass? 23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? Yeah, because the whole purpose of me starting the blog was to force my non-reporter voice out of bed, and I can't do that when I'm laying on the couch watching Fox. 24. Do you like John Mayer? I LURVE John Mayer, despite the fact that he has a reputation for having let success inflate his head. 25. Do you have enemies? I suppose I do, but for the past few years, I've been trying to let go of the crap and forgive -- not because they necessarily deserve it, but because I'm tired of thinking about it all the time. It's even kind of working. Sort of. 26. Are you lonely? The one guy and I were talking about this very thing this morning, in fact. I'm sure I'll get to the point where I REALLY must have an SO in my life, but really? It's easier on my soul if I have a place of my own in which to retreat. 27. Why bother? Mother, is that you? And when did you learn how to get online?
Oh, whatEVER.

I've called him and left him messages, like, twice this week so far about just how gorgeous my hair is. He probably thinks I'm nuts.
Oh, whatEVER.

Happy Mother's Day, yo.
Oh, whatEVER.

Anyone who's read mikey knows that he has a normal, healthy affinity for porn -- no more or less than the average dude, as far as I can tell -- as well as quite a few pornstar friends. In fact, I probably got the 411 on the whole thing from him or someone I traveled to from him, but anyway ... so I read about the whole thing, thought it sucked, whatever. Then I saw the whole thing about Jenna Jameson and her husband putting together the telethon or however they want to raise the funds for their colleagues in porn and ... thought nothing of it, really. I mean, you know, cool, good for them, whatever.

So then tonight, I cruised on over to another linky friend of mine, Kim, and saw what she had to say about it. And now? I'm ... kind of on the fence.

I do agree with Kim ... to a point. Why these people haven't used condoms (especially the female kind, which can be inserted prior to doin' it and, I imagine, hidden by good camera-ing if you don't want to kill the illusion) is pure stupidity. Yeah, I know they subject themselves to testing every month; yeah, I know they say they're careful; but no, there's no excuse that's going to satisfy me on that. Condoms don't even protect you from everything, anyway -- and I know of what I speak -- but it is 100 times better than catching HIV. So in that respect, if you're not going to take responsibility for your actions, weeeeeeeeeeellll ... you own that and what comes with it.

That being said, no one deserves to die, either, which will likely happen if anyone gets sick and doesn't have a health plan to help cover the thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars it's going to take each month to buy the medicine that keeps the viral load down -- IF it does at all, because seriously? Most people cannot tolerate most HIV protocols, so they'll be spending money that they don't have and aren't going to be able to make. Therefore, if Jenna and Co. are wanting to help in that respect, I think that's cool; really, how much different is it than people walking for MS or breast cancer? Or bowling for diabetes? (Of course, I'm not sure they're even thinking that far ahead based on what I've read, so to that I say, if they need to get a job at Wal-Mart in the interim, we all do what we gotta.)

Many of my friends are outraged at the whole porn/lad mag/stripper industry, and I'm not. I don't think it's a good choice of careers, and certainly wouldn't want my daughter hanging off the pole, but I can't stop other people from doing it, just as you can't stop a person from working in a building full of asbestos. I guess that's the risk you take.

[Full disclosure: No, I'm not HIV positive, but I had the great fortune of seeing Jim Thode of the NWI Aliveness Project give a talk about HIV/AIDS a couple years ago, and I've never forgotten much of what he said.]
Oh, whatEVER.

Now, I have many feelings about this Iraq business -- the short version being that we shouldn't have gone back there until we had a reason -- but God help the person that would ever blame the soldiers for doing what they have to do. My prayers are with them.
Oh, whatEVER.