It was already published at my favorite music site, but I shall reprint here, because it was just. that. COOL.

Before the utterly gobsmacked throngs started filing out of the bar to mob him, and before he had a chance to absorb what just happened onstage, Brian David Blush sat on the hood of a stranger’s silver Toyota, massaging his forehead as if it would make the night’s events sink in faster.

He was a bit embarrassed, too, or a lot to hear him tell it. Just three and a half hours earlier, Blush wasn’t even sure he’d be allowed in to see his former Refreshments bandmates — Roger Clyne and Paul “P.H.” Naffah, the head and neck of Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers – play at the roadside restaurant just outside Elkhart, Indiana. So to have joined Clyne, Naffah and bassist Nick Scropos on well-loved tune “Nada” from their 1996 breakthrough record, Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy, was an event for which he was completely unprepared.

“Whatever you say, tell ‘em I was terrible,” Blush said, rather morosely assessing his first time onstage with Clyne since it all went wrong between them.

This was originally supposed to be a combined review of Clyne and the Peacemakers’ July 2nd performance at both the 30th Annual American Music Festival at FitzGerald’s in Berwyn, Illinois, and the band’s subsequent performance at Mr. G’s in Osceola, Indiana on July 27th.  Anyone who’s ever seen an RCPM show knows how solid and fun they are, even (especially?) as Clyne tosses back shot after shot of tequila. Well, the band didn’t disappoint either time. Particularly heartening was hearing lead guitarist Jim Dalton come into his own, since 2009 was his first year with the band and he was a bit tentative and stiff with the music. But for Refreshments/RCPM fans, hearing three of the original Refreshments reunited for a short, impromptu jam session in front of the lucky 120 who came to the show is, as Veep Joe Biden might say, “a big f’in deal.”

The backstory’s been told a million times: After Fizzy Fuzzy propelled the Refreshments toward epic stardom, their second album tanked, the band lost its record deal and Blush dove headfirst into his already debilitating heroin and pill habit. He got kicked out of the band, and then he sold the Refreshments’ entire catalog – which includes the theme of long-running show King of the Hill — for $2,500 out of desperation. Bad feelings, naturally, ensued; Blush overdosed, then spent time in jail and went through rehab before landing in jail again and finally getting himself off the junk. He now resides in the South Bend area and plays in various bands.<

Which leads the story to July 27th: Blush’s buddy and bandmate, Mike Vance, heard RCPM was playing Mr. G’s and asked Blush if he wanted to go. It’s not that he didn’t, but after more than a decade of anger and resentment, he didn’t know how his presence would be received. Thanks to the Indiana Department of Motor Vehicles, he almost didn’t get to find out; now that Indiana mails residents their licenses and other IDs, Blush didn’t have his new license yet, and the bouncer didn’t accept the photocopy the DMV provided.

Defeated, Blush started walking away when he saw Naffah outside the RCPM tour bus. He walked up, and the unexpected happened: Naffah met him with open arms, and the guys took care of his entry issues as only good friends would.

“They snuck me in through the back door,” Blush said.

Blush sat on the left side of the stage, donning shades and smiling the whole time, even firing up a lighter every so often in homage to his favorite songs. Being comfortable in RCPM’s air space was all he needed, really, but then Clyne came out for the encore and called on Blush to accompany him on “Nada.”

He was overwhelmed from start to long after finish. While neither a perfect version of the introspective song or the final encore, no one dared take away from his elation at playing with old friends.

“Roger Clyne and P.H. Naffah, I came up with them. We were lucky enough to catch a break (all those years ago),” he said. “This has to be the greatest moment of my life so far, and I just came here tonight to say ‘Hello.’

“They affected the course of my life, and I will die being a Peacemakers fan.”

The other guys – Clyne, Naffah and in his own way Scropos – also came away healed. Scropos wasn’t in the Refreshments during the troubles, but he knew enough about it to know there was “weird blood.”

“I thought it was really neat,” the bassist said. “Everyone’s really humbled by the experience, and I’m happy for the guys.”

When told that Blush called his own performance “terrible,” Naffah smiled while remembering how self-deprecating his old friend is. He also admitted to being a bit apprehensive at the thought of sharing a stage with him again and was glad it all happened as an impromptu jam, lest everyone be all twitchy about it.

“I haven’t talked to him in years, and nobody knew where he was – the last I heard, he was in Detroit,” Naffah said. “We needed this, though. I wish the guy the best and will jam with him anytime.”

As for Clyne, perhaps the most hurt by Blush’s actions way back when, he was a bit overwhelmed with the moment himself.

“This was the building of a bridge I burned a long time ago,” Clyne said. “Forgiveness is a good thing, and I hope Brian got as much peace out of it as I did.”

A couple funny stories for you that several of you have probably already heard, but you’ll live because to all youse who complain I never come here anymore, I’m writing for the second time this quarter, so ZIP IT and LIKE IT.

STORY NO. 1

A dear friend of mine has a young teenage daughter who, for whatever reason, thinks I’m pretty cool, so the last time I visited I told her I would friend her on Facebook, (Why kids that age find me cool still baffles me—and many do, believe it or not—but all right, I’ll take it.) Now, those of you who’re fb friends with me know that I can be kind of an a-hole with the swearing and the ranting and the so on and so forth, so I promised her parents that I would make sure to lock down my wall and any photos of vulgar t-shirts I might have cached in my photos because, you know, she’s smart, but she’s still a little young to really appreciate the humor in a “Fuck Me I’m Fat” shirt. Or maybe not, but still, that’s not something I or her folks want to find out right now. So I promise her folks she would be on super-sekret lockdown, and that’s exactly what I did ... except I didn’t get it locked down before she saw the pictures from my 40th.

You guys knew I turned 40 since the last time we talked, right? I did, and it was GRAND affair surrounded by my crew, with a limo, all the G-ball I could consume, a riotous performance by the boys and me in a sparkly sequined number and stilettos. Ten hours of nothing but drunken idiocy and mayhem—all of which was seen by the young lady in question because the next time I was over there, she proceeded to tell me how wasted I looked. (You would too if you’d spent 10 hours straight drinking and cavorting.) Well, me looking ridden-hard-put-away-wet isn’t exactly the image I want to convey to the young, but Ok, she’s seen me have a beer or two with the folks, and it was my birthday and I was having fun ... whatever. It’s cool, and her parents weren’t upset by it.

Anyway, so a few weeks go by, and the young lady and I are IM’ing on fb as we do from time to time. I think we were talking about how she was reading The Lovely Bones when all of a sudden, she asks me,

No need to get all excited about me posting twice in one week; I’m continuing a break I’m taking from the mass resort cleaning to which I’ve subjected myself for Cat & co.’s arrival tomorrow. Anyway, she and I were yapping, and she asked me if I’d read an article she sent about Post-Traumatic EMBITTERMENT Disorder, where a traumatizing event such as a death, break-up, divorce, job loss etc. causes someone to get so stuck on their bitterness and revenge that they become depressed and develop an inflated sense of entitlement, among other symptoms. You know, because that’s what kids who get everything handed to them on a platter need: a special diagnosis of their very own to hide behind.

I keed, I keed ... sort of.

I mean, Ok, I get that revenge is a common reaction to sudden, devastating loss; I can think of few times in my life when I haven’t wanted to unleash some diabolical plan on someone who’s hurt me, or at least wished they’d end up dead in a ditch through no fault of mine. And I have no doubt that these feelings are the root cause when someone goes apeshit and murders their family or picks off people at an amusement park because she or he got hired for the chorus instead of Daffy Duck or whatever. But I don’t know about a separate diagnosis altogether, because it seems to me that a lot of this can be placed under PTSD as a subset. What do I know, though? Thoughts?

[UPDATE 5/26: Check it out, yo! I beat the Jezzes to the punch: Lookit]

Things that have struck me dumb since, oh, let’s say Saturday:

-- On tonight’s second Intervention episode, the dude took to drinking foamy hand sanitizer when he couldn’t get out of the hospital quick enough to hit the fifth of vodka he had stashed at home.

-- The customer at the restaurant who, when he discovered his order was wrong, said—and I quote—“If I wanted to be treated this bad, I’d have stayed in Afghanistan.” Seriously? You’re really going to equate not getting your burritos grande to getting shot at in the desert? That’s a tad dramatic, n’est-ce pas!??

-- Then pal and co-waitress Double D (as in “Designated Driver,” you pervs) told the douchebag that her brother’s been in the Middle East twice already, yet she still doesn’t get why we’re there. I mean, I love that she said it, but during work where other customers might hear probably isn’t the best time or place.

-- In the first episode of Intervention—and this is one I’ve seen before, so how I missed this, I’ve no clue—the love-interest enabler chick basically just told the world the drunk with whom she’s in love either can’t get or keep it up. Wow. Hope he didn’t see THAT when he got out of rehab.

-- On our way home from the boys Sunday morning, G/BF tells me her latest nightmare (who we now refer to as “Dumbass No. 3,” or DA3 for short) told her if he moves back up here, he would STAY WITH ME so she could feel safe in knowing what he’s doing. O RLY!?? Because I would WANT his dumbass germs contaminating the resort.

-- The blatant homoeroticism of the latest Quizno’s ads: “Put it in me.”

-- Cheeks wearing a blowup doll with an arm-sized appendage on his head. (Ok, that didn’t strike me dumb, but it needed to be mentioned. We have the pictures to prove it.)

Despite all the toy play, I didn’t enjoy the weekend—still felt rotten and had family nonsense, after which I should’ve just taken my ass home instead of forcing myself to be social, because that rarely works and then I end up all fired up about stuff that’s, like, whoa, what the hell are you talking about. But tomorrow, I have a Cubs game with my old boss, so a slight change of scenery should do me good, and she and I always have a good time. Actually, it’s going to be an expensive month: Cubs tomorrow, RCPM Friday, another Cubs game over Memorial Day and possibly Great America at the end of the month to see my niece in her dance recital. Maybe I should start enterprising stories more.

I just retrieved the following off my voicemail from a certain 8 year-old ginger:

Awesome, awesome AWESOME!

Know what else is awesome? Two words: TOOL. ACADEMY. Earlier I fell asleep to “Celebrity Rehab House of Allegedly Sober People” and woke up to this bit of magnificence. People, you must watch it. I know Girlie will fight me to the end on adding it to the Crap TV lineup, but I don’t care. This is spectacular television, and I’ll endure it myself if I must.

One other thing: I’m now coming to you from my new Christmas laptop, of which I seem to finally have fully operational. Remind me to tell you what a nightmare it was trying to get it there. I will say this, though: Vista is an asspain, fer real.

Four forty-two. That’s what time I got home this morning.

No, no. I wasn’t partying up with my crew or getting my junk crunked or anything one would normally assume would be going on at 4:42 ayem. Nope, I was driving home from Area 2, District 5 after sitting there for FIVE HOURS. For nothing in which *I* was involved.

Let’s back the train up, here: 10:30, right as Chelsea starts her monologue. I’m on the can after watching Nip/Tuck (whoa, this season’s going to be fucked UP, people!) when I hear voices (or A voice, as it turns out) in the hallway followed by hysterical knocking. I yell “Hold up! Hold up!” and finish my business, thinking the building’s on fire and how the hell am I going to round up the boys to get them out. The building wasn’t on fire, though; it was my downstairs neighbor, and a cop just called her and said he has her boyfriend, can she come and pick up his truck so it doesn’t get impounded? They’re at the corner of such and such ... on Chicago’s East side. And she doesn’t know how to get there, can I please, PLEASE come with her!??

Now, you might remember such situations as the Sweetest Day debacle that would be reason enough for me not to venture out of the crib where these two are concerned. You might also remember that I’m a big sap. And anyways, she was going to take the long way to get there, and I at least know how to get there quicker.

So the ride there was listening to her manically flit from one topic to the next, but the gist was the cop didn’t tell her why they had him and that she’d talked to him an hour earlier, and he’d said he was sleeping. (I, in the meantime, had decided it wasn’t a cop that called her but an “associate” who was going to pop a cap in her head as soon as she got out of the car, but I digress.) We get to the intersection, and sure enough, there’s his truck and an unidentified cop car behind it. She parks, throws her emergency lights on and then tells me to follow them to the station, but doesn’t tell me how to turn her emergencies off, so there I was driving like an idiot in a 2009 Camry with emergencies, blowing stops and shit just so I can keep up because it’s been waaaaaay long since I sowed oats on the East side. (Yeah, I was hardcore back in the day. What!?) Our destination: 111th and Cottage Grove, also known as Area 2, the place where telephone books are never wasted.

I think I told y’all once the lesson I learned about the penal system and how it’s not supposed to be like Momma’s house in order to keep criminals from coming back, right? I can tell you with utmost authority that Calumet Station? Not so much with the amenities. Thankfully, it didn’t smell like urine a la the old Gary HQ, but man! Imagine taupe and burnt sienna colored floor tile that’s kinda coming up in spots but not really, gray walls, block glass surrounding stairwells with primary yellow painted railings and brown gates separating the lobby and the rest of the facility, then take away any joy or hope you’ve ever had in your life and throw four homeless people sleeping outside, and there you go. Oh, and let’s not forget this art ... thing suspended between the two buildings that looks like a big chunk of ceiling tile held by 100 little wires and any manner of sketchy hooligans wandering in and out, especially the one woman who kept railing at the “pussy-ass po-lice” for arresting her brother or cousin or whoever—THAT was fun to decipher.

We’re there about an hour when the other arresting cop comes out and tells her his prints have come back fine and that whatever it was he was doing (and I do know, but for privacy reasons I’ll keep it to myself) wasn’t serious enough for the cop to pursue it but that the boyfriend WAS arrested and would be released at, oh, 3 a.m. “Well, hell, (neighbor), why don’t we just go home and he can call you when he’s done? We’re not that far from here for you to come back.” She told me I could take her car home, but like yeah, I’m going to leave her in the middle of the ‘hood by herself all geeked up on adrenaline and suspicion. That’s never a good combo for ANYONE. At that point, she says let’s take his truck and get something to drink.

And that’s when she started the recon.

We’re sitting there in the parking lot, she with her coffee and Red Bull (and for those like T who know my neighbor, they know that’s a baaaaad combination) and I with my Sierra Mist Cranberry, going through his immaculate vehicle looking for evidence. This, I had mixed feelings on. I mean, I’m no stranger to the recon and am pretty darn good at it—please—but. It’s all about what you’re going to do with the info once you have it, and I knew she was going to do exactly what she did—call the woman—and really, when the relationship is as bad as theirs, there’s really no point in getting all up in the other woman’s biz; let the other one deal with his stupid ass, right? Turns out, though, that that woman isn’t the woman he’s cheating with; it’s ANOTHER one. (FABulous!) Anyway, whoever it is doesn’t matter because now she knows, and hallelujah! she wants to leave him there—except we CAN’T, because she can’t just leave his keys at the front desk for him, say the officers.

SIGH.

So, we go back out to the truck for awhile before coming back in at 2:55 because he was supposed to be let go at 3, remember, and I’m starting to reek because the temp in truck was like 80 and who knows how hot it was in the station, and I was wearing sweats that should never leave the crib, clean or not. 34:10 rolls around, and we ask again what the holdup is: The officer said there was a “mishap”; the cleaning ladies said someone threw up and peed all over, and until THAT was brought “under control,” no one was leaving. FINALLY about 34:20, he came out. I thought she would just hand him his keys and leave with me, but no, she wanted to ride with him, so whatever, I didn’t have to listen to it. I got in her car and drove the hell home.

Earlier this evening, I was on the horn with Mother when I started hearing what sounded like caterwauling until the caterwauling started forming words. I look out, and the boyfriend is walking up to the door with a bag, then he goes back to the truck and PULLS her out of it. I stood there and waited for her to throw herself in front of the vehicle, but thankfully that didn’t come to pass. Haven’t heard anything since.

Calling in the middle of the night for a piece when I could just as easily be substituted with a fresh corpse or really any other inanimate object with marginal pliability does NOT turn me on. It makes me want to shit on your car.

Let’s hear it for my evil overlords, who’ve once again screwed up my paycheck and left me in the red during the holidays!


Boo-urns

Rather than bitching about the inevitable, however, I’m instead going to tell you about my awesome weekend and how I should never, EVER be allowed to drink hard liquor again.

It all started Friday, when my seester came in for a quick visit. Now, as a SAHM with a hub who travels for work 50 percent of the time, she doesn’t get out much, which is fine with her most of the time. So after we got the kidlets situated, it was going be dinner, shopping and meeting one of her girlfriends out for A drink, since she had to get back home and I had to be up at the ass crack to cover the FUTURE OF NWI(tm).

Three a.m. and three glasses of Riesling later, the only thing that got Ms. WOOOOOOOOO! to leave the second bar of the night was the snow, because she had kind of a haul to get back to her dad’s. It was nice to see her relaxed and having grown-up fun, though, so I didn’t mind my head being pudding during my assignment in, oh, five hours, plus I’d had only two fluffy martinis (read: $8 sweet drinks in a fancy glass), so I was fine. Cutest moment: Earlier in the evening, my niece Lulu was doing a kind of jump-wiggle around the living room with this little satisfied grin on her face, like, “Yo, wut up.” Eight hours later, my seester was doing the same thing at the bar, same look and everything. God, I love those two. I even ended up talking to this idiot, but that was HER fault since she decided to give him a ride to the other bar.

Then Saturday, after a series of schedule changes that would’ve normally pissed me off (and kind of did until I discovered things actually worked out better), was the Bang Bang Christmas Extravaganza. The apertifs du soir: Peppermint martinis made with Ciroc, peppermint schnapps of some sort and a hit of gin, maybe? I don’t know, and SHINER BOCK! of which Ben bought by the metric shit-ton for his lady. As I was feeling rather festive (and wired since I hadn’t slept much), it was going to be martinis for me, no skimping on the sticky candy-cane rim coating, barkeep.

Sometime after the second one, I think, it was time for me to find something to eat since I hadn’t eaten since lunch, and there on the buffet was a gorgeous cheese plate—with neither tongs with which to pick it up nor plates on which to put it, as I would discover AFTER I tried to take one or two pieces of round, thinly sliced cheese but ended up having to take FIVE because cheese sticks together, and it’s not like I can just leave it there after my hands have been all over it. So I improvised and grabbed a styrofoam cup for my cheese.

Around my fourth peppermint martini, Girlie said I was quite the sight trying to carry on a conversation with Sensei Massey with my cup o’ cheese, martini (hands sticky from the rim) and candied pretzel sticking out of my pinkie; to hear her tell it, there might’ve been cheese crumbs expelled in some fashion. It was then that I switched to PBR.

The fun didn’t end there, however. It was time to head to our next destination—a place in Hammond where NASCAR lovers go to die—to catch the Leprechaun Virtuoso filling in for one of the 17 bands he plays in, but not before we hit McDonald’s for double cheeseburgers. They were mighty tasty, those cheeseburgers, but not quite as tasty as the chicken, mostaccioli and mashed potatoes Danny was eating when we got to the bar. So tasty were they, I not only ate off Danny’s plate but got up and helped myself to more, not giving any thought to the fact that he got the food from a wedding reception being held there.

It might not have gone exactly like this—the person who put up the video needs the page views so s/he disabled embedding—but close.

The NASCAR bar was too much for us, so I inhaled my ill-gotten fourth-meal and we set about our way when 1) I got the heel of my boot caught in the hem of my cashmere dress coat trying to get in the party van (I yanked it out), and 2) Girlie got pulled over, and I had to be told several times to STFU because I was rather loudly telling my sister of the night’s events. By the time we got back to the shop, the party had wound down—probably for the better.

And THAT, my friends, is why I don’t drink hard liquor as a rule. Thankfully, no one outside my crew saw how badly I was behaving.

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention to my fb tweets, I’m currently in the market for a new smartphone since the wonderful Palm Pilot Baby Brudder bought me a couple years ago died a noisy death over the weekend. The debates have been many: Blackberry or Palm Centro? Because the Blackberry is super-cute, but all my stuff will transfer to the Palm the easiest even though it’s not as cute as the Pearl ... anyway, so I’ve been scouring eBay for a Centro, and I’ve found a couple that I wouldn’t feel bad shelling out the money for, right? (And no, I will NOT buy one from my wireless provider, deals be damned, because they won’t let me get one without a $30 data package, and as much as I would love to be attached to the Innerbunny 24-7, adding an extra $30 to my budget when I technically can’t guarantee my job from month-to-month doesn’t sound like the brightest thing in the world to do.) I go to my bank account and see that I have plenty of cash to drop around $175 for it ... but that money could ALSO go toward the other half of my rent and utilities should my check not show up tomorrow, as it’s wont to do every so often. So what’s a girl to do?

Would you believe that I closed my eBay tab and decided I would cover rent and NIPSCO first?

Who am I, again!??

Went to the eye doc today—first time in, oh, four years, because if my eyes aren’t bothering me, I just don’t give it much thought. The bad news: My frames aren’t made anymore and haven’t been for two years, which sucks because I LOVE my frames deeply and flipped at the idea of having to find new ones as cool as these. The good news, however, is that my eyes haven’t changed significantly, so new glasses aren’t necessary. But I bought some anyway, because I’m a girl who’s easily excited by the idea of having TWO pairs of glasses.

So Mother and I are sitting at dinner last week when out of the blue, she hits me with this:

Last night, the boys and I settled in for the night with jammies and blankies and stuff when I promptly fell asleep after watching the first half of SNL (yeah, I know, missing two of the best skits, but I already caught Mary Poppins, and that one’s tons better than Lawrence Welk. I about died with that one). And then I woke up about 1:45 a.m. to what I thought was the sound of someone knocking on my sliding door.

Which leads out to my balcony.

ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE BUILDING.

But I wasn’t sure until I heard it a second time, and yeah, it was distinct knocking followed a few seconds later by a kick to the window, maybe? So I did what any normal person would do and FROZE THE FUCK UP ON THE COUCH FOR AN HOUR, not moving a muscle because both my phones were out of reach, and since the blinds to the balcony were open, I didn’t want who- or whatever was back there to see me. So I waited patiently for doom to fall when tired got the best of me and I got up and went to bed, where oddly enough my window was opened and I can usually hear what’s going on in back WHEN I’M AWAKE. But there was nothing, and I fell asleep after an hour of wondering if it’s illegal to get my hands on some barbed wire to wrap around the balcony railing. Oh, and wondering why, if the person didn’t know me, they would knock (unless they DO know me, in which case, I would think she’d have learned that yes, I DO call the cops on family members).

Now, I’ve got the blinds closed and everything on extra-super lockdown, which I hate because it makes me feel closed in. Seriously, though, who the hell would knock on the door of the person they’re trying to rob or worse!??

Would somebody like to explain to me how it is that, barring external factors like absence, if a man and a woman of the same intelligence level take the exact same classes in college; or take the exact same training program for their companies, the WOMAN is the one who needs “more training?” And if the problem is “Well, the women have FAMILIES to raise, so they can’t be there for all the classes,” wouldn’t the more effective (read: fair) solution be “provide better affordable child/elder care so women can complete the tasks with which they are given?” Just curious.

And I wish I could take credit for this question, but I shall post it here in case, by some twist of fate, someone with any means to get it to the proper channels sees it:

E! Television declared depression as the No. 1 SHOCKING MENTAL DISORDER EVER, apparently because Kirsten Dunst checked herself into Le Cirque to get her head screwed back on.

Well, shoot. Had I known, I might’ve demanded a cookie or something.