Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Waaah! I’m only 51 percent!
I'm going to have to work on this.
I AM 51% ASSHOLE/BITCH!
51% ASSHOLE/BITCH
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.


Wait a second, isn't "Fuali" the name of that kid Mary Kay Letourneau nailed?
Posted by Broad2:26 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
PreSUMING …!?!?!?!
Pal, lemme tell you something: I understand that you're upset and you need to take care of your deal. But insulting my capabilities is neither going to help your situation, nor is it going to gain you an ally in me. Jackass.*

That is all.



*This is what I wish I could've said in response to something about which I can't be more specific out here in the internetwebnetwork. Those who know, know.
Posted by Broad9:45 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Hey, iTunes, play that song
Have I ever mentioned that I'm a YOOOGE fan of seminal '70s jazz-rock band Steely Dan? I'm rockin' out to "Time Out of Mind" as we speak.
Posted by Broad2:45 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Killin’ time doin’ time (or, “Hey Ma, meet my new boyfriend—in jail")
I haven't mentioned the guy who wrote me from prison yet, have I? Yeah, see, that's one of the bad things about having your name in the paper: People can find you and write you in care of the paper. From prison. I haven't seen the note yet, but Tara tells me that he -- and I'm not going to name him, because it somehow seems wrong -- sent me a Christmas card with a letter in it asking me to help him with job hunting after he gets out or something. As if I would be any sort of expert on the subject. Anyway, he said that he wouldn't bother me again if he doesn't hear from me, but any kind of human contact is greatly appreciated. (I'll bet.)

So, if responding would be opening a can of fucked-up that I really don't want -- and I REALLY don't -- is it wrong for me to feel bad about it?
Posted by Broad2:41 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Party peoople in the hizzie
Since I just figured out how to do a random list in iTunes (a tricky process involving pressing the "Party Shuffle" icon), here's what came up:

1. "The One Thing" -- INXS
2. "Don't Like the Drugs" -- Marilyn Manson
3. "September" -- Earth, Wind & Fire
4. "Blue Monday" -- New Order
4. "Meooooow" -- a thing I horked from mikey
5. "Your Love" -- The Outfield
6. "Just Because" -- Jane's Addiction
7. "Elegantly Wasted" -- INXS
8. "Ultimate Sin" -- Ozzy
9. "I love the Way You Move" -- Outkast
Posted by Broad4:10 PM • (0) Trackbacks
I was really kinda hoping for Stewie, but this’ll do

Which Family Guy character are you?
[Horked from the always lovely Snidge]
Posted by Broad4:44 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, January 08, 2005
I am the super fantastic girl, even if I am poor!
As if y'all needed the confirmation, but we have it, because I sent Manolo a shot of me in my Manolos, and he wrote back and said I am the super fantastic girl! Take THAT, fuckin' Paris Hilton.

So Greta and I, speaking of the super fantastic, were downtown today for one of her foloup Lasik appointments when we drove up to Oak Street, the part of Chicago's Mag Mile where the Prada, Louis, Gucci, Tod's, etc. is. We went there because EWK had given me a well-loved, well-worn black leather swing coat with blonde fox fur collar as a Christmas gift, and I want to sell it to a resale shop, so thinking the fur factor would kick up the value a notch, I picked the swankiest one I could find.

Yeah, no such luck; not only is there not a call for black leather swing coats with fur collars yet, but this one's beat down, and the woman wouldn't be interested in it, anyway. I guess a resale shop in NWI it will be, after all.

However, we did pop into the wonder drugstore of the universe, Bravco, where I purchased myself this for $18.99, and by God, I think we have a wax that will finally keep my hair textured without looking all gummy. Huzzah! And I totally want to go back to Oak Street, if not to just figure out new things I want to start hunting for on eBay when I stop being quite as poor as I am right now.
Posted by Broad6:26 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, January 07, 2005
“We like … soup”
"Sittin' (something something), eatin' soup/(something something something)/Now I don't got my soup no more/Now my soup is on the floor ..." Can I just tell you how awesome that is? Target rocks.

So, excitement for the last day or so? Well, Dell Financial pissed up my rope yesterday when I tried to purchase 512 of ram by telling me that they closed my account in April because of "payment history" (hey, I'm a free-lancer -- blow me), even though I've been paying double payments since then. Yeah, Ok, maybe that's how credit works, but what the hell am I going to do if my computer craps out for real, and I need a new one? Are they going to give me a new account? I doubt it. Fuckers. I don't remember credit always being so draconian.

Speaking of draconian, I can't decide how I feel about the Andrea Yates decision. I mean, I understand and appreciate she was sick and everything, and I don't doubt that living with the truth that she killed her kids is hell on earth enough. But what exactly did they change the sentence to? Does she get x amount of years in a brain garage and then let out? Is she in the brain garage for life? Because even if she was/is sick, she still has to be held accountable for killing her kids. Now, before anyone gets up in my grill about how heartless I am, I saw only that the verdict was changed, so if you want to tell me nicely what it was changed to, I'll appreciate your helping me make an informed decision.

In other events, Cousin Gary's memorial is this evening, and Mother is already calling me to ask me if the sweater she's wearing is a cowl neck or not. Because that matters.
Posted by Broad6:20 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Assburger Syndrome, indeed
No, you big pervs, that's not what it looks like. It is, however, an example of what happens when a reporter decides to rely on phonetic spelling and the desk doesn't question it. (Legend has it that editors are supposed to be able to look at a hed or sentence, and if they can get a double entendre out of it -- even if the hed's, like, "The dog is dead" -- it must change. Don't laugh; that's an important talent to have.) No, that reporter was NOT me, thankyouverymuch (and God); I may not know nothin' about no assburger syndrome, but I'm quite familiar with APSBERGER syndrome; it mimicks autism, but not really. Anyhoo, I can't believe Tara FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT ONE, because I would DIE if I were the reporter who fucked that one up. Literally curl up and die. Fer real. I feel for ya, pal.
Posted by Broad1:24 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Hey Fox Broadcasting! Over here!
Covered a meeting last night and didn't get to see "Who's Your Daddy?", and I'm not seeing that anyone else did. (You bet I would've watched it. Are you kidding me!?!?) But why do I get the feeling that all the men TJ had to choose from were all successful doctors, lawyers, businessmen? And really, what fun is that? Now, if that were ME on the show, we'd have at least one candidate who's a 300-pound, marginally employed dope smoker, and with my version of getting potential sperm donors, we'd have at least two or three rotten-livered alcoholics and some dude who shot his paw. And how could THAT not be more titillating or, at the very least, more painful to watch since that seems to be more of what reality shows go for!?!? Seriously. The drama of finding out the dude who sired you is a two-bit loser who doesn't want to know they have another kid floating around? And -- and! -- the idea that the dude or I could walk away $100K richer for it? Emo porn at its finest. Where do I sign up!?!?

Meanwhile, out of meds again, but at least the paperwork is in this time as opposed to last time.
Posted by Broad3:39 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, January 03, 2005
Dammit, Snidge!
She made me cry with the following. I hate that. (Crying, not the following)
Posted by Broad6:02 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Is that all there is?
Well, I just returned from three-plus hours of my life that I'll never get back.

Last night, the one guy called, and we had a nice long talk reminiscent of the talks we used to have back in the day. I was kidding around (sort of) about how I wanted an invitation to come out for a drink, and he said that there's always an open invitiation for everyone to join him at his usual haunt. So, I decided I would take him up on it and come out tonight. Actually put on eye makeup and everything.

And got ignored for the most part.
Posted by Broad3:53 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Shhhh!
Don't tell any of my editors this: [Horked from the always-darling Headcase, who's up awful late tonight]
Posted by Broad5:19 AM • (0) Trackbacks
(Re)learn something every day
Did y'all know that in order to record mp3s on a CD and have them play on an outlet other than your computer, all you need is a CD-R, and then you can use any CD burning program without having to buy their special package? I'm sure I did, too, at some point, but between then and now, I've wasted several of my pretty blue CD-RWs trying to record Mer's birthday present, a collection of old favorites from our youth as well as some Romani folk tunes I found and tunes of which I'm particularly fond, like "Ciao!" by Lush and the Cristina version of "Is That All There Is?". Her birthday's in July, and she was here in August.

(flips hand at shoulder, making retard yeti noises)

Today was one of those days spent either at the computer or in front of the tube just chilling with the rest of the wine I didn't polish off last night (yeah, I know -- guess I just wasn't in the mood). Found out Cousin Nancy ended up in a fight with Loser Sid's new scumbag last night but that Nancy righteously beat her ass. Hey, if the bitch -- who, by the way, is over 18 and therefore could get tried as an adult -- was stupid enough to throw the first punch (which, according to Nancy, she did, and I'm inclined to believe Nancy's telling the truth based on what transpired earlier in the week), she deserves what she gets. That's not to condone violence, but I'd never tell anyone to take a dive, either ... unless they were going to get a shitload of money to do so, of course.

Anyway, tomorrow is Hair Party Day, where the Emperor Warrior Kendar, Ms. Kaffy and I sit around and giggle while EWK makes us pretty. I saw this really cute bobbed style on a hairdresser at Mother's shop when we stopped in to get her some hairspray Friday, so I'm thinking I might try to grow the mop out a bit. Now, since I've been known to stick paper clips in my hair when it gets too heavy, the chances of me getting through a month are probably slim-to-none, but I'm up for something different. We'll see.
Posted by Broad3:43 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Another Auld Ang Syne
Hot shower? Check.
Scratchy exfoliating mask? Check.
Hair air-dryed into 1970s-feathered goodness? Check.
Hickory Farms regular Beef Stick and pepper cheese? Check.
A whole bottle of Yellowtail shiraz to myself? Aw, yeeeeeeeeeah.

Now, if y'all don't mind, the boys and I are going to settle in with Reeg and kiss 2004 the hell goodbye. Wishing everyone a Happy, prosperous and creative New Year from NWI, this is Broad, signing off for the year (unless, of course, something really cool happens. But I think it's just going to be quiet, and that's coo.)
Posted by Broad1:48 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Page 59 of 87 pages « First  <  57 58 59 60 61 >  Last »
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.

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