If Mother is difficult to deal with when I'm firing on all pistons, believe me when I tell you she's downright unbearable when I feel like shit warmed-over. I take her to Strack's to get some groceries, and this woman came up to me and started making polite conversation in the deli line. Well, Mother, who was previously in the bakery line, comes barreling up and talking right over the woman about how she wants "five slices of chicken roll" and how "Wait, chicken breast isn't the same thing as chicken roll!" and ohmifuckingGOD, will you stop behaving like an 8 year-old already!?

Not sure if any of y'all pay attention to New York media like I do, but there's a story out about a free-lancer who's been arrested for impersonating a firefighter and sexually assaulting a co-worker of his ex-girlfriend for 13 hours after setting a small fire in her apartment building and holding her hostage: Lookit. Authorities have pegged this guy, whose star once shone bright but then hit the skids, right? Well, this guy's got a rap sheet, and on it is how he stalked and tormented his former girlfriend for, like, two years. Even better? He kept a couple blog-like up things about it -- cleverly hidden in a Web site about a play he'd written. Here's one of them -- Lookit -- and on it is the link to the other one. Just ... wow. If the guy wasn't so fucked up, you'd almost have to admire his writing. Goes to show you what too much intelligence can do to a person sometimes.

[Link via Editrix]