But not before I say this: Those bastards at M&M Mars? Have made an orchestrated version of that vile, hateful, horrible "Color My World" commercial that I hate so much. Between that and "A Focus and a Dell/A FOCUS AND A DELL," someone needs to get hurt.
I was 19 or 20, and my best friend at the time and I were at the mall, doing some shopping at the Limited, when it was just starting to pick up momentum as a cool clothing store. There was a super-long line at the check-out, so she and I were standing there kibbitzing with a couple of the sales clerks, who were still in high school. It turns out these girls went to the high school that the mother of this dude I went out on a date with was a counselor.
Now, the dude in question and I have been friends for years since that first date and, you know, we were freakin' kids, so what did we know about being cool, right? But lemme tell you, that first date? Eeeyeah, not pretty. Not the WORST date I've ever had, but still. I mean, the guy made a big production about how much the bill was, fer Chrissakes. Never mind that I spent much of the evening yammering on about how crazy I was about my college boyfriend, because THAT was perfectly acceptable, but ... I digress. S'anyway, not a good date, and upon hearing that these girls went to school where his mom was the counselor, I launched in to how much of a dork I thought he was and how his fascination and sympathy toward anyone who was into genoicide was ultimately what turned me off -- oh yeah, and the incessant calling me every. single. night. didn't work in his favor, either.
Well, I went on and on and on and on, thinking I was quite the comedian, when my friend and I got up to the cashier, and the cashier proceeded to tell me that the woman standing a couple people up front? Yeah, that was HIS MOM.
What especially kills me about Saturday and that chick was that if I'd have gone up to her and told her," Hey, shut your gob, because you look like an ass," there's no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't have cared. Hell, I'm sure if/when her manager said something about it, the point was totally lost on her. But I know that that day in the Limited, I'd never been so put-in-my-place in my LIFE.
Now, wanna hear about the time that I started talking about my former roommate, not realizing my cell phone had redialed to her, and she heard the whole thing!?!?
Oh, whatEVER. 
