Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Thursday, July 22, 2004
The one where Broad wears the wrong someone else’s panties
Have I mentioned how much I love my job? Especially when my assignment tonight? Included a wine tasting and hors d'oeuvres. SPLENdid.

But as I was putting on my unnywears after my shower? I couldn't figure out for the life of me why I couldn't get them over my legs. I mean, I was so excited to find that Old Navy made comfortable bikinis for chicks with big butts that this was just unfathomable, or else what the hell did Greta do to my wash!?!?! Did she really shrink them that bad? (Note: I do my laundry over at Greta's, and sometimes she finishes up for me.) But I squeezed them on and rushed off to my assignment (with other clothes OVER them, of course).

But as the night wore on, the unnywears were cutting into my skin, and I was becoming increasingly unhappy. So after the assignment portion of the evening, I rushed off to the ladies room to figure out what was going on. Wouldn't you know, they weren't even my unnywears; they were Greta's. How could I have NOT noticed this, you ask? Well, we both shop at Old Navy and probably bought the same ones, only in different sizes, and she thought they were mine.

Well, now that I had that figured out, what was I supposed to do about it? I mean, even though they were clean, there's still something kinda weird about wearing someone else's unnywears for ANY reason, plus they were still cutting into my skin. What's a broad to do, right? This broad decided the best thing to do would be to take them off and put them in the inside pocket of her jean jacket.

I'm not sure how I'll feel if Greta wants them back after this.
Posted by Broad7:53 PM • (0) Trackbacks
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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