Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
There’s a joke about unlodging jammed objects somewhere

Tomorrow is Mother’s last test to determine what, if anything, is wrong with her (physically, anyway, since we already know the mental part). And except for an annoying call a little earlier, she’s been a million times better than she was a month ago, and like I said a few days ago, that’s been a fantastic turn of events—definitely easier on me, anyway. And she’s actually been pretty zen about the test itself, which is a miracle considering.

But now—and this just hit me in the last hour, so I’m not processing anything at the moment—I’m the one that’s freaked out about what it might find. Googling colon cancer just now didn’t help; turns out that some of the symptoms she’s been having are in fact indicative of colon cancer. Not going to tell HER that, of course, but ... then again, her doctor said her lower stomach didn’t feel lumpy or hard, and that was a good sign, and nobody’s talked about her being anemic. Still, I’ve spent so much time focusing on her mental health (which, make no mistake, I was absolutely correct to do so) that I haven’t really thought about what a cancer diagnosis would mean. Selective thinking at its finest, right? But here it is, and I don’t like it one bit, especially the part about how it would affect me. Yeah, no need to pile on about how shitty it is of me to think that way; the Catholic guilt and I already have that covered, thanks.

The test’s at 9 a.m. Don’t know how much we’ll know immediately after.


Posted by Broad8:25 PM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
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Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.

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