Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Two Aquarian peas in the pod, and you get this

While I’m off chasing the latest storm to hit NWI, I leave you with the comments my small brother just left, because I love his voice and think he should be blogging his own damn self, but why would he listen to his older, wiser (snerk) sister?

oh my gosh.  your brother is a complete fool. or a complete hero.  as *fate* would have it, last night on the way home a homeless black man (he would be white, well maybe in the next life) came up to me and asked me for food because his family got displaced by a fire.  he had this story that seemed sincere, asking for assistance because he had 2 kids, and that the fire had broke out and that he had tried all of the different shelters and they refused him because he had a house to live in.  I wasn’t too sure about his story except it made sense to me that if he had tried the different places out, they would possibly turn him away.  He asked for “cerial” only.  He said he would get cerial and milk because it would last longer if he did.

Me, being the freshly laid up guy with the rotten day thought *well, my finances aren’t THAT bad, and this guy DOES have 2 kids, and I know what it’s like to be displaced from MY home and what it feels like to rely on someone for HELP and how people in chicago will turn you away because they think you might be crooked and trying to cheat. and he WAS asking for CEREAL.

I took him to walgreens. he shook my hand, was one of the nicest guys in the world.  I bought him Cerial, milk (*thinking IM A SUCKER*) , and then microwavable items.

Then I started noticing something .. he was buying some of the most EXPENSIVE stuff in the store.  Huge .. like 6 or 7 dollars an item.  The price kept going up and going up and I had a train to catch.  Once he got about 3 days worth of items (TOILET PAPER, some fried chicken. Don’t black guys like Fried Chicken?  Well, I guess any family that is BROKE and has no FOOD could like fried chicken and little WHITE CASTLE MEALS TOO!).  Toilet paper, some crackers, and stuff like that.

no LIQUOR, no CIGARETTES, nothing that dosn’t seem out of the originary.  (Damn, I feel bad even questioning the resolve of this, but geez, $66.90 dollars later and I’m wondering if I got HAD).

So I took the guy up to the thing, payed 66$ for him.  Sure, you might think what a stupid idiot he is for doing that for that man.  What if he REALLY WAS DISPLACED.  We all need to WIPE our ASS, right (did I fail to mention he bought two huge rolls of toiletpaper)?

He’s about to leave with 4 bags of stuff from Walgreens (all I could think about was what a nice thing I was doing for this man!) and the guard there that monitors walgreens goes “who be buyin that for whom?”

i said, “im buying it for this guy.” he looks at the poor homeless man and says ‘i fiddin you ain’t gonna be sellin, eh?’ he goes “man, why you gots to be that way?” the guard goes “yea, man, i see it all the time.” and the guy, who didn’t offer any explaination of his situation with his family simply said “man, you ain’t THERE. you ain’t even THERE!” my anger swelled. so i turn to for an explaination and it dawned on me. you been either tricked, and you too STOOOPID to figure it out, or it just melts your heart so much to think that this is possible that you don’t want to admit it.


this poor poor man is an entrepenuer!  he is taking my items from my pocket, that i have worked just as hard working for in my construction business, and he’s opening his own business. he could be selling the items on the street, he could be providing for his family, but dang nammit he is using this for a GOOD PURPOSE. just think.  he is getting business SKILLS.  he is learning ECONOMICS.  he is even avoiding TAXES (like rich people) and he is pretty much making a SHITLOAD of cash.

*at whos expense*.

I offered out of the kindness of my heart.  and besides, he COULD indeed have a family to care for.  We never REALLY established that he did or didn’t, because I had a train to catch in 5 minutes.  On the way into Walgreens, he mentioned a name of his daughter, 6 years old (of course, her name was like 12 letters long, and he kept repeating it as if he was proud of being about to spell it).

it rained. it poored. i went away mad, and then felt agravated that i just spent $60 on a lesson i could have learned in high school.

my dad would kill me if he knew that i was stupid enough to participate in this learning experience.  the fact is, i can’t tell if it was real or not.  the guy could go sell my stuff for crack.  i once had a crack addiction, and i stole for it too.  anything for PLEASURE in the brain.

but then again, providing for your family by asking for help from someone elses’ kindness is not really about pleasure, but about SURVIVAL.  Yet, when we look at this man and examine his reasoning for his actions, we think that we should IMPAIR his ability to do what he does because it helps you sleep at night or because it someone reinforces our own emotional or moral wellbeing.

even if he was a crackhead, i am helping keep the economy running for a human being who is trying to survive.  call me mother theresa for crackheads, but another person who found out about being “HAD” at walgreens by the guard, might have KILLED him, riped out his organs and sauteed them in a pan.  (a delightful stirfry of homeless people sounds like it needs a DASH of salt or pepper to taste).

How quickly my generosity turns to ANGER. Turns to FRUSTRATION. Turns in on myself. and the punchline is.. it might be real. and I feel this way, simply because I offered to help.

Posted by Broad3:07 PM
It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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