It's official, yo: On July 31 -- that would be one week from Saturday -- Meridith will be arriving at 1:23 p.m. to O'Hare from LaGuardia, and this? Is going to be fucking great. Now, having lived with Rebecca for 2 months and two weeks longer than she can handle, she says she'll be perfectly happy just sitting her ass on the couch drinking and doing nothing, but I had three words for her: LAKE. COUNTY. FAIR. And that's all it took. "4-H!?!? Ohmigod! The last time I saw live cows was in the Old Country! Bwaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!" [Note: Have I mentioned that Mer spent four years living in a Slovenian Gypsy village? I could've sworn I did, but I can't seem to find anything about it. But yeah, she went there because she wasn't ready to hold a 9-to-5 and she was interested in charitable missions. Once there, she ended up marrying a Gypsy, who she eventually divorced once they got back to the States.][Sidenote: Ohmigod, this toothpaste commercial was just on in the other room, and I could've SWORN the woman said "When I saw pink in the STINK ..." Whoa. Where's MY brain!?!?!]

Anyway, it's going to be a blast. Now, I just have to clean the crib ...