Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Souped-up bitching

Monday, May 07, 2007
“Enraged?” That’d be one way to put it

From my morning journalism newsletter:

The Scripps Howard News Service has, over the last month, been probing how veterans are compensated for injuries and illnesses. In the process of plowing through the databases, Scripps learned something nobody expected—that since the 1970s, possibly thousands of veterans have received millions of dollars in disability checks for venereal diseases they got while in military service. For example, the story tells about a Columbia, S.C., veteran who served from 1955 to 1958 and said he had caught gonorrhea about 10 times during and after his service, which caused arthritis in his left knee. A VA appeals board in 2005 evaluated him as 20-percent disabled and, therefore, eligible for about $200 a month. The Scripps story explains:

Scores of veterans across the country are getting lifetime checks from the government for gonorrhea, genital herpes and other venereal diseases they caught while in the ranks.

The disability payments are made under a little-known provision from three decades ago that entitles vets to monthly benefits for sexually transmitted diseases they contracted, or simply aggravated, while in the service—even if they became infected on their own time years ago.

Under the rule Congress created at the end of the Vietnam War, even genital warts are considered a “service-connected” condition entitling a vet to the same $100 or more a month for the rest of his or her life that those who suffer wounds or battle injuries can receive.

This enrages some veterans of combat in Iraq, particularly those who have had to battle the backlogged Department of Veterans Affairs bureaucracy to be deemed worthy of benefits for clearly war-related disabilities. For them, the fact that the VA’s resources and taxpayers’ wallets are being tapped for such claims is hard to stomach.

“It’s a crock,” said Jerry Yarbrough, a former volunteer fire fighter in Gibson County, Tenn., who suffered major systemic damage from heatstroke as an Army fueling specialist in the early days of the Iraq invasion and continues to fight for full benefits now that he’s “a virtual prisoner in my own home.”

The number of veterans getting benefits for sexually transmitted diseases is unclear. Repeated requests to the Department of Veterans Affairs for that information went unanswered.

But a review by Scripps Howard News Service of more than 60,000 cases under the purview of the VA’s Veterans Benefits Administration reveals that there likely have been thousands of vets since 1972 who, collectively, have drawn millions of dollars in payments for conditions they readily acknowledge came from illicit sexual activity.


Ok, not that living with the chirps can’t be demoralizing, but unless it’s a real live landmine, a soldier sticking his dick in some random hole—be it as an act of pleasure or an act of war since yes, Virginia, some soldiers DO use rape as a weapon—is NOT LIFE-THREATENING and therefore is NOT A HAZARD OF WAR. This is disgusting.

There better be a class-action lawsuit against the government over this, is all I’m saying.

Posted by Broad2:49 PM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Step awaaay from the glowing box, wackos

First, Snidgey has her nightmare, and now, someone’s gotten a hold of Mer’s passwords and started sending people she knows retarded e-mails. (Actually, it happened 10 days or so ago for her.)

Is Mercury out of retrograde yet? Because jeeez.

Posted by Broad10:14 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
It’s raining; I’m screwed

This is my front yard oh, about 45 minutes ago:


And this is a little further down the block:


I was able to get The Pimp to higher ground (aka the back of the apartment), but there’s water halfway up my shin on the driver’s side.


Posted by Broad2:38 PM
Friday, August 25, 2006
Folks is letting me DOWN, man

And I don’t like it one bit.

That is all.

Posted by Broad3:57 PM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Awwwwwww, what’s the matter, Mike!??
Don't like it when I turn on the function that allows me to approve comments before they're posted!?? Because I notice you've STOPPED SPAMMING MY COMMENTS. Fucker.
Posted by Broad7:47 PM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Beware the House of Dada
Don't you hate it when you purchase something online, only to have the seller tell you the item you want is out of stock but that she'll make you a new one and send it out, except she doesn't send it and doesn't answer your e-mails as to whether she's going to send it? I do, too, so that's why I'm going to tell y'all to avoid craft Web site Dadahaus like the freakin' plague.

See, I got the idea to buy something from them from Miss Doxie after she did her splendid recap of all things crafty for Christmas, and so I went there and found a ring with "Wtf?" engraved on it, which I thought would be perfect for our Snidge, right? Well, that was January 19, and the only time I've ever heard from the site's owner, Kelly, was on the 25th when she told me the ring wasn't in stock and that she would make me one and have it to me by the 3rd. It's now the 15th, and no word despite my trying to get in touch with her twice. So then I went to the Dadahaus Web site, and it has some message up about how they've shut the store down to get ready for some crafting expo or something. That's fine, but either ship the damn ring or tell me you can't do it. It's real simple. Anyway, I've already filed a dispute with PayPal to get a refund.

Meanwhile, in an example of better customer service, my hair has been fixed and is now presentable again. Did I tell y'all about how last month I strayed from EWK and had a girl at Mother's shop cut my hair? Well ... the good news is, she made it look different, which is what I wanted. The not-so-good? She cut my sides straight instead of at an angle, giving me what looked like earmuffs. Not at all pretty, despite Poppy's attempts to tell me otherwise, bless her heart. Well, he redid my highlights a week after the cut and said that he would fix it if I wanted, but that I should let it grow and do its thing so he can fix it next cut. Tonight was that cut, and all's right with the world. Now, I just have to keep myself from going after my bangs, which are longer than they've been in YEARS ...

[UPDATE 2/17: Kelly wrote back and refunded my money -- said there's been a family circumstance. That's cool, but Snidge sure did like the idea of that ring ...]
Posted by Broad4:55 AM
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I shaved my legs for this!??
I'm guessing you want to know about my meeting with John the gardener.

Yeah, don't be too jealous, because it wasn't nearly as good as it could've been.

When I got to Blue Chip, I parked like a jerk in hotel parking, and security whisked me through to the crowd of at least 1,000, who were all crammed in the pavillion waiting to get in. I crawled (sometimes literally, as there were all these rope blockades all over the place) among the crabby masses to get to the press area to see the end of Bill Boyd's speech (and get my first glimpse of Jesse, who is HOTT but NOT TALL; if he 5'9, I'd be surprised). Then the PR person whisked us back to a craps table, where Jesse threw out the first dice. So we all stood there and took pictures of his hotness, then the P.R person herded all the press people back to the media room, where we had continental breakfast and waited to get a tour of the boat. Jesse, in the meantime, was NOT brought back to the media room, and we have no idea where he went. So, no Jesse and his hotness for me, which positively blows since I looked pretty damn hot yesterday, even going so far as to put on my damn suit and Tod's loafers.

Below, the shots I got of Jesse. To think I was only a craps table-length away from his beauty ...
Posted by Broad4:25 AM
Friday, October 28, 2005
It takes just one to ruin it for everyone
You know those people -- and I know it can't be just me that's surrounded by them at every damn turn, so please tell me you feel me, here -- with whom you try to establish boundaries, but they don't abide by them, because whatever THEY got going on is so much more important to ending world hunger and creating world peace? Yeah, when they tell you they're sorry for stepping over the boundaries, they're really not. What would be really refreshing, though, is if they would just say, "You know what? I don't care enough about what YOU need to get through the day to put my bullshit aside." Seriously.

[Amended to say: See, because if they did that, there wouldn't be any question as to whether you would tell them to stick it up their asses.]
Posted by Broad3:22 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
They’re all stars now in the freak show
So youda thunk there'd have been more goons during the first round of AI auditions, but in a sea of 10,000+, there was only one that I physically saw: a dude who showed up in a Dorothy costume with a blonde Pippi Longstocking wig, a 5:00 shadow and combat boots. He compared his look and tactic to that of William Hung, and I was like, "All right there, pal. You go," when I was really thinking, "Yeah, but see, the difference between you and William Hung is that he was at least sincere. You, on the other hand, are a fucking fruitbat." Nevertheless, if you see a dude in a Dorothy costume with a blonde Pippi Longstocking wig, a 5:00 shadow and combat boots during the initial AI shows, you'll know I met him and that he's an insincere, fucking fruitbat. Otherwise, there was a chick who channeled her inner Tina Turner -- right down to the crazy hair and a white fringed mini dress -- that everyone seemed be amused by. Here I thought the whole point of AI was to be original, at least while you could before they suck your soul out of your assholemake you into a STAR, but what do I know, right!?? Anyway, although I'm sure there was a dearth of colossally bad singers, I didn't hear 'em. Wish there was more to tell, Mac. I keep trying to publish the story, but I seem to be having trouble with my extended entry.

Wonder how that happened? Because I wasn't having trouble with it Friday. Curious.

Today was the cool stuff, however; I covered IndiaFest, which I was totally hoping I would because everyone there is super nice and would give me the world if I were allowed to take it (reporter's rules and shit). So they had me volunteer for the sari-wrapping deomnstration, right? Yeah, they ended up GIVING me the sari to keep. It's freaking GOR-jus, a light brown with gold trim and black fringe with a black petticoat. I'm SO going to find an excuse to wear it. Pictures tomorrow (if I can figure out what the hell's wrong with my MT.)

Oh, and yeah, I would be remiss in not mentioning that I hooked up and had a lovely time with him, his lovely wife and another friend at OktoberFest downtown Friday evening after I finished with the AI stuff. I also came to the realization that 1) I'm getting too old for that thing they call distance walking, and 2) I've become a total slob since I left Chicago. Going to have to work on that a bit.
Posted by Broad2:52 PM
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Not sure if there's going to be posting at all today; got a buttload of assignments to finish, plus I'm still sick and really, REALLY angry about some stuff that I hope will be worked out. (And no, it's not for public consumption, so don't ask. I'll probably chew off your head and shit down your neck if you do, anyway.)
Posted by Broad5:02 AM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Get out. I’m shocked. Shocked, I say. Yawn.
Just got off the phone with the detective, and he talked with my aunt. According to him, she acted like she didn't know what he was talking about at first, but then she copped to it when he told her that I said I left a message for them. So she tells them they're going on a family vacation (which they are) and that when they get back, Crackhead will certainly talk to them. He made a note to call them on the 13th.

Posted by Broad4:31 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Monday, June 06, 2005
People couldn’t suck any harder if they…
well, I don't know, but I do know they suck pretty hard, and not in a good way. I mean, shit.

First, I call Cingular this morning to find out whether any calls had been made from my cell after June 1, which was when the online bill thingy said. Alas, there were NONE, so unless someone has a real creative way to make nonworking numbers magically appear on caller ID (and can that be done?), SoC was told to cover for Crackhead. And yeah, I suspected from the get-go that that was going to happen, but I guess it sunk in today that man, that's some BULLshit.

So then I tell Mother about it, and she tells me that my cousin called her last night asking all about the break-in. That particular cousin is Timmy's mother and the sister of Cousin the Rich One, and she hasn't spoken to me since Cousin the Rich One and I started our battle -- except, of course, when I called her at the hospital to make sure she and the little guy were Ok -- because I was clearly in the wrong about the whole thing. Even if I was, it didn't have anything to do with her, but you know, whatever, right? So she said to Mother how I was lucky that Crackhead didn't attack me and so on and so forth, and I was like, "Wait a minute. After I worried that she was going to lose her son, she can't call ME to find out how I am!? FUCK. HER," and I told Mother that from here on out, I don't want her talking about me to any one of them, good bad or indifferent.

So to recap, two sides of my family suck hairless worm dick (as opposed to hairy worm dick. I know). Now, allow me to regale you with the continuing saga of DtR
Posted by Broad10:21 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Mac, you done with my new bag, yet?
It's 4:49 a.m., and I just got off the phone with Mother, of all people, because I was pissed and needed to vent. Why? Because my crackhead cousin broke into my crib and stole my purse. While I was in the crib.

I'll let y'all ponder that for a moment.
Posted by Broad7:03 AM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, April 22, 2005
To the person who ripped off my safety pin
Yeah, you know, the giant Risdon safety pin I've used as my key chain forever? See, when I was, like, 8 or 9, my dad got it from one of his students, and he then gave it to me. So it's been mine for more than 20 years, and it has a lot of senitmental value. I don't expect YOU to understand that since it was so easy for you to GANK IT OFF MY KEYS, but that's the story.

I sincerely hope your children are born with herpes and that the damn pin gets stuck in your eye when you get hit by a bus. Jackass.
Posted by Broad1:09 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
The philanthropy? Stops here.
You know, I KNEW this was going to happen, and yet I get involved anyway and it ends up being my fault.

Oh yes, the china cabinet sold and it sold for $1,181.56, right? A good, healthy price considering I started the auction at $200 and similar pieces with "Buy It Now" prices of $1,200, $1,500 weren't getting nary a look. I mean, I thought so. I was thrilled that it did so well, in fact.

Crazy Aunt, however, does NOT, and is now upset because she was told the cabinet was worth at least $2,000, EVEN THOUGH this appraisal was never put in writing and she TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY that she wasn't sure the $2,000 appraisal included a table and chair set or not.

You know, it seems to me that when you have absolutely no money and don't seem to be trying very hard to get it, you shouldn't be biting the hand that feeds you. But what do I know?
Posted by Broad4:49 PM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...

The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:

Save the Net Now

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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.


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