Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Social comment n' shit

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
What about shutting your cakehole? How about that?
Kalisah talked about this load of bullshit yesterday, but since Inside Edition just replayed it, all I gots to say is, "Nicole, be GLAD you got yourself out of that mess, because your ex? Is a fucking fruitbat." Do you even HEAR yourself when you open your mouth, Tom? Because exactly what point of reference do you have that you can tell a woman how she should treat her postpartum depression? Seriously. Until you start crapping out babies and have to deal with fucked-estrogen levels, shush.

Vitamins. Yeah, because the natural route worked so well with Andrea fucking Yates. Dipshit.
Posted by Broad6:12 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
Some really good reading today
Caught this via Gawker today -- wasn't previously familiar with the case, but it's a really well-done article on it.

In the meantime, I could've sworn I saw my brother's car circling outside. I'd have peeked out the window, but I was topless at the time.
Posted by Broad6:52 PM
“Oh, baby, I want to $*%# your #(%&# “
Ok, so after giving Snidgey the lowdown on what prompted my lesson in dirty e-mailing, we've decided that to further help out the male population, we would start a new feature, tentatively titled "What not to say in a dirty e-mail" -- you know, like "What not to wear," only with dirty e-mail. So ladies, please feel free to contribute* the stupidest things you've ever heard a dude say to get you going, and here they shall be featured.

Since we've already discussed the whole "intrauterine" fiasco, I'll get the ball rolling with "I want to f' your clit" (physically impossible, so AGAIN, learn your anatomy, por favor) and from Snidgey, "I want to lick your labia," which just sounds plain WRONG.
Posted by Broad3:33 AM
Sunday, May 22, 2005
You’ll thank me for this one day
For the boys out there (and one in particular) who want to spice up their foreplay with a little dirty e-talkin': It is never, EVER Ok to use the word "intrauterine" in your shtick. NOT EVER. Instead of making you seem erudite and well-read, as you're no doubt going for, you look like a big retard who doesn't know how a woman's innards work. Do you understand me? Seriously, just stick to the easy ones, like "pussy" or "cunt," and you'll be fine.
Posted by Broad9:41 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
This skeers me. A lot
Doing my morning reading today (read: Wasting time before I have to jump into the shower because damn, broadband is just THAT COOL) and I venture on over to Romenesko, the reporter gossip blog, to catch up on all the reading I hadn't gotten done yesterday. And I come across probably the most disturbing thing I have in awhile: Lookit. Seriously, read what this woman said and then the reaction she got because of it.

I don't get it. How could anyone have gotten, "The military is systematically eliminating journalists in Iraq," from what she said. More importantly, when did people stop listening? Yeah, Ok, dumb question, but I mean ... God. That's just over-the-top.
Posted by Broad1:50 PM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Get in the game, everyone
Saw this over at Kaffy the badass' last night and then Mac picked up on it this morning, but our good friends over at Kraft have signed on as a sponsor for the 2006 Gay Games, to be held in Chicago. That's the cool thing. The not-cool? The dolts over at some fundie nut hut (I know who it is, but no face time for them) have called upon their masses to boycott Kraft and its products (which as one commenter over at Mac's put it, "But… if they boycott Kraft, what will they EAT? Everyone knows that people like that make all their casseroles out of a box." Heh. Well done!). Well, we can play that game, too, so here's who you gotta contact for giving the love and support:

Kraft Foods
CEO Roger K. Deromedi
3 Lakes Dr.
Northfield, IL 60093
Phone: 847-646-2000
Fax: 847-646-6005
TOLL FREE: 1-800-323-0768
Or, e-mail them here.
Posted by Broad2:36 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Yeah, because they’re not USING or anything …
If there was every a case to be made for Nicole to get back on the horse, this would be it, because at least then, she didn't look quite so bad.

lohan-richie-starving.jpg

[Image courtesy of Defamer]
Posted by Broad10:47 PM
Done bought into her own hype
So Saturday, Kaffy was having her Roots o' Doom(tm) eviscerated by EWK, and afterward we convened at a local European restaurant to consume more food than humanly possible when the subject turned to Oprah and her ever-changing shtick. Now, I loves me some Oprah, but we all agreed that this weight-loss business has colored her affected more than any other time she's dropped a ton of weight.

I use that to segue into my big issue, which is the way she handled an interview on today's show. Anyone catch it -- the one on women who were involved with child molesters? In the first segment, she talked to this woman, Jody Bowman, who shot dead the pigfucker that molested her child. So Jody retold the whole story -- it'd already aired on Court TV -- and then it was time for Oprah to talk to ask Jody about the signs of molesters living in your crib and what she'd have done differently, etc. Now, I have no doubt that Oprah's staff does big-time due diligence before letting a guest come forward and that when she goes on stage, she's loaded for bear. Also? She has a limited time for each segment. But sometimes, that's the problem with knowing too much when you go to interview and having too little time, because she was clearly leading Jody into the answers she needed to fit her spin. Does Oprah know what she's talking about? Having been a victim herself, yeah, of course. And I seriously doubt that Jody was lying. But I don't think she handled that part of the interview well, because it came off contrived. Watch it and see if you agree.

OR watch it anyway, because it really was a good show.
Posted by Broad3:48 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Don’t try suicide; no one cares (Isn’t that a Queen song?)
A close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless for our purposes here) was dating this dude, and dude turned out to be BatShitCrazy -- like, as in, she had a law enforcement pal look up the deets on this guy to find that dude had stalking and battery charges all over the Midwest, right!?!? Yeah, so after blowing him off all weekend, he calls her earlier this week to give her the guilt about not wanting anything to do with his sorry ass, and what does he do? The ol' suicide bit, which she didn't buy into, obviously, because this is a conversation she had with another one of her friends about it:
CFoM: Yeah, so anyway… it was like 2:00 in the morning and he kept going on and on… and finally I just said, Look, I’ve only got four more hours before I have to get up to go to work. And then he said, well I’ve only two more hours before I have to kill myself.
Her pal: You should have said, “man you better get some sleep, too then!”

To which we laaaaaaaaughed and laaaaaaaughed ...

Now, I've had people in my day try to pull that with me -- one a particularly odious little troll who had pretty bad renal disease, the others a close friend from high school and Mother (!) -- and I used to get all freaked out about it; I mean, they say you can't tell when someone's really serious about doing it, so you shouldn't take any chances.

Yeah, well, in my experience*, you CAN tell when someone's not serious about it. Know how? When THEY'RE TRYING TO GUILT YOU INTO TALKING THEM OUT OF IT, that's how. There's a reason people who're grieving suicide victims say they never saw it coming -- because the victim never let on that they were going to do it. If you've got someone flaunting it your face, they got problems, all right, but the will to live ain't one of them.
Posted by Broad8:35 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
A word about the Schiavo case
Now that the guvmint boneheads have gotten it this far, I hope every family that's in this situation -- whether it's gone on as long Terri's or not -- implores Congress to afford them the exact same privilege over and over and over again so that they'll be soooooo tied up with this, they won't be able to focus on anything else ever again. Qu'est-ce que cela va dire, You reap what you sow!?!?

That is all.
Posted by Broad3:28 AM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Another ecosystem bites the dust
From the time I was a wee broad, Mother told me the story of how the summer before she and Dad got engaged, he hightailed it to Alaska. Apparently, the pressure from both sets of parents -- "But he's not Catholic, Anka!" "I want you to marry a college girl, Lee!" -- was bumming him out, so he split. Obviously, they got back together (after Mother gave him 10 kinds of hell for a month or two), but he always talked about the amazing beauty of Alaska: the wildlife, the mountains, the tranquility, but especially the wildlife.

Don't know whether he ever got up to the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge, but in February I covered a talk about it. Below, the article:
Peter Solomon is not what anyone would call a political activist.

A widower with three sons living in Northeastern Alaska as part of the Gwich’in Indian tribe, Solomon feeds his family by hunting and fishing off the coastal plain of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, a giant piece of wilderness shared between Alaska and Canada. But their lifeblood could soon be decimated by oil drills if the federal government has anything to say about it, he told members of the Izaak Walton League of America Monday night.

If oil development is allowed on the plain, the 8,000-member Gwich’in tribe stands to its way of life for the past 20,000 years. For example, caribou, which return to the plain on Prudhoe Bay each summer to give birth, would likely suffer decreased herds because of displacement from drilling, thereby cutting off the tribe’s food supply. Plus, the nature of drilling would destroy acres upon acres of an untouched ecosystem.

”There’s a 65 percent unemployment rate in most of Alaska,” Solomon said, “But as long as we have the right to hunt and fish on our land, that doesn’t hurt us in any way.”

Lenny Kohm, a wildlife conservationist and photographer who spent more than 15 years lecturing about the Gwich’ins’ plight and spends most summers among the tribe, said that the amount of oil that the government hopes to harvest from the plain is about 3.2 billion gallons, or a six-month supply based on normal American usage. And that number can’t be proven.

”There’s a 20 percent chance of (the oil) actually being there,” Kohm said. “When (Spanish explorers) came through Mexico, they destroyed the Aztecs and Mayans, because they needed the gold. Then 150 years ago, we ran the Native Americans out, because we wanted the land. Now, we’re getting ready to do it again, because we need the oil.”

The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, considered a prime piece of land for drilling since 1925, was declared as such in 1980 by the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act by former President Jimmy Carter, Kohm explained. Because the Coastal Plain has always been a target for drilling, however, Carter classified it as a study area until such time that it would be used for other things.

In order for the plains to receive refuge status, a bill before the House of Representatives, H.R. 567 will have to pass. It may not have a shot, however, since President George Bush in his budget for 2006 has earmarked money for the Open Up Arctic Refuge.

”It’s not even a budget item, but he knows that as a budget bill in the Senate, it can’t be filibustered,” Kohm said.

Kohm, along with Kim Novick, Great Lakes Organizer for the Alaska Coalition, pleaded with League members to contact Sen. Richard Lugar to vote against the budget. For his Alaskan Indian “family,” he prays the efforts will work.

”If it passes, that first drill is going to have to come right through here,” Kohm said, pointing to his heart.


Well, now I find out from Rude that it passed 51-49 to drill up the ANWR for oil they can't say for sure is even down there. Big oil (and the Republicans who support it) say that it can be drilled with minimal effect to the environment. Do you buy that? Do you really think that bringing heavy equipment to an area that;s never been exposed to it is going to survive and multiply? Do you think the birds and animals are going to want to come back to that shit every year? And once again, for oil that may not even be there.

Look at those pictures of the ANWR and tell me if you think that's right.
Posted by Broad2:14 PM
Monday, February 21, 2005
Guck fucked up
Anyone been following the Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert/White House debacle? What I want to know is, how is this different from Bill and Monica in terms of hurting the country's credibility? When it comes down to it, all Bill and Monica ultimately did was hurt themselves (and, of course, Hillary and Chelsea). This jackass, on the other hand, put into question the White House's whole press set-up -- giving it an air of dishonesty worse than it already has -- PLUS he's gay, which, you know, we're not supposed to like. So lessee here, a oversexed lothario diddling some chippy just like many other politicos in all parts of the great US of A and the world, for that matter vs. a political plant in the press corps purposely allowed to pimp one side of the coin

So please, someone spell it out for me: How is it different, other than it's your candidate's policies getting scrutinized? Oh, and if you're going to tell me that Kos, Aravosis and their ranks violated this 'mo's privacy, stick it up your ass; nothing was done that the right wouldn't have if the tables were turned.
Posted by Broad2:36 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Anything to get some attention
Is it just me, or does Maya Keyes' coming-out speech sound disingenuous?
My parents don't approve of what I'm doing at the moment.

I mean, sure, I admit I might've heard that out of context, but it just sounded to me like the polite version of, "Ok, I'm really not sure if I like box or dick, but box sure is fun, and look how MAD it makes my dad! And I STILL get my Ivy League college for free! Look at me! Woo!" And honey, if that's your shtick, you're NOT HELPING. Again, I'm all about it if she's gay. I'm just saying if she's not, this is a shitty thing to be doing to the rest of the community.

While I'm on my social soapbox, did y'all see this? Got it over at Mac's. Someone please enlighten me, because that? Is bullshit.
Posted by Broad3:40 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Dark days indeed
Back in my college days, I used to write a column called "Sayeth the Mighty One" (as in "The Mighty Quinn" -- yeah, we were pretty clever back in the day), and I wrote a column on abortion. And it was plum-full of references to middle-aged men making choices for us when they have no right to do so, but one of the things I tried to do was compare abortion to prostate cancer. I did this by saying that if there were an experimental drug that would cure prostate cancer, the male heads of guvmint would waste no time in passing it, but when it comes to women's health issues? Fuck that. (I'm paraphrasing, of course -- not by much, but I used to be a lot bigger a blowhard. A LOT.) It wasn't a great analogy, but then again, I'm not sure there is one.

This that I got this over at Mac's today is awful close, though. If you're a woman, you need to read it, and then you need to read it again. And again, and again until it sinks in this is what it's going to come to if we don't pay attention.
Posted by Broad6:46 PM • (0) Trackbacks
Friday, January 07, 2005
“We like … soup”
"Sittin' (something something), eatin' soup/(something something something)/Now I don't got my soup no more/Now my soup is on the floor ..." Can I just tell you how awesome that is? Target rocks.

So, excitement for the last day or so? Well, Dell Financial pissed up my rope yesterday when I tried to purchase 512 of ram by telling me that they closed my account in April because of "payment history" (hey, I'm a free-lancer -- blow me), even though I've been paying double payments since then. Yeah, Ok, maybe that's how credit works, but what the hell am I going to do if my computer craps out for real, and I need a new one? Are they going to give me a new account? I doubt it. Fuckers. I don't remember credit always being so draconian.

Speaking of draconian, I can't decide how I feel about the Andrea Yates decision. I mean, I understand and appreciate she was sick and everything, and I don't doubt that living with the truth that she killed her kids is hell on earth enough. But what exactly did they change the sentence to? Does she get x amount of years in a brain garage and then let out? Is she in the brain garage for life? Because even if she was/is sick, she still has to be held accountable for killing her kids. Now, before anyone gets up in my grill about how heartless I am, I saw only that the verdict was changed, so if you want to tell me nicely what it was changed to, I'll appreciate your helping me make an informed decision.

In other events, Cousin Gary's memorial is this evening, and Mother is already calling me to ask me if the sweater she's wearing is a cowl neck or not. Because that matters.
Posted by Broad6:20 PM • (0) Trackbacks
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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