Somewhere between Bell's Palsy and death

Social comment n' shit

Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Completely flew under the radar
Um, did y'all hear about this!?? Lookit SC told me about it a little while ago.

So where the hell was I that I didn't even know another tsunami wiped out a bunch more people!??
Posted by Broad4:13 AM
Friday, June 30, 2006
They’re crocs, all right—of comfort
So there's been this debate going on in the ether about rubber clogs and whether or not they belong outside of the garden. Well, I don't know about all that, but I'll tell you what: The Crocs flip-flops? Waaaaaay comfy. I bought the brown/light blue ones.
Posted by Broad4:19 PM
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
The Rev. Dr. Leon Finney Jr. is a big fat hypocrite
Do y'all remember when I was going on and on about Leon's Ribs a while back? I got an e-mail from Gwen, the woman who owned the one in Hammond about a week or so ago, and I must confess I didn't get around to reading it until today. And then when I read it, I wish I'd done it sooner, because then the workings of this nematode of the cloth could've been up much longer for the world to see.

Gwen sent this letter to several new outlets; I'm posting it in its entirety:
If there is a spiritual knowledge of earthly matters after death, I wonder how the much loved and respected state Representative Lovana "Lou" Jones' heavenly spirit is reacting to the knowledge that as the Reverend Doctor Leon D. Finney, Jr., was delivering her eulogy -- this “man of the cloth,” who proclaimed to be her friend, had set in motion a state court ordered, forcible eviction of his 65 year-old sister along with her disabled husband from a condominium owned by their father, Leon D. Finney, Sr., of Leon's BBQ fame.

His sister and brother-in-law were literally being set out on the street as “Lou” Jones’ earthly remains laid before him. There rested a woman whose very core -- above all else -- bespoke a deep devotion, respect, and caring for her family. Yet, the Reverend Doctor Finney simultaneously participated in the process of inflicting excruciating pain on his flesh and blood sister, allowing her to be thrown into the streets, thereby causing her and her husband to join the ranks of the “homeless” community of the Chicago South Side.

I find it eerily striking that the funeral celebration and homage paid to this extraordinary woman, "Lou" Jones, took place on the same day -- at or about the same time the Reverend Dr. Finney, Jr., brought to fruition one of the most horrific days of his sister's life; and, while his sister was suffering the sting of betrayal and pain of her brother's contempt -- he was officiating at a celebration of a woman's lifelong commitment to family, to her larger community, and to any and all persons less fortunate than herself. How bizarre!

But, this did indeed happen.

At or about 10 am, on Tuesday morning, May 16, 2006 -- there was a loud banging at the door to Gwen Finney-Wood and her husband, Jim Wood's, 18th Floor apartment located at 5201 S. Cornell Ave in Hyde Park.

Having just finished their morning coffee and about to begin packing to return to their home in Hawaii -- they were startled and terrified by the voices yelling, "open the door, Sheriffs’ department!" -- and were further traumatized when they opened the door to find four, armed, uniformed police officers from the Sheriff's Office standing menacingly at their door. The police officers barged in unceremoniously and demanded the Woods get dressed and get out of their apartment immediately!

With little less than two or three minutes to gather their thoughts, change from sleepwear to street clothing -- they were physically ejected from a place they'd called home for nearly 7 years.

Neighbors, friends, residents of the condominium -- administrative, security and maintenance staff of the Cornell Village Condominiums -- all of whom over the years had come to know the Woods personally -- watched in stunned disbelief as they witnessed the household furnishings and personal belongings of this elderly couple being set out on the sidewalk in front of their very stately building.

News spread fast that this indignity had been visited upon the daughter of longtime Cornell Village resident/owner, Leon D. Finney, Sr.; and, that her brother, the Reverend Dr. Leon D. Finney, Jr., was responsible for the forcible eviction. It was common knowledge among residents of the Cornell Village that Rev. Dr. Finney, Jr., had recently gained personal and financial guardianship of his father's estate after the senior Finney was adjudicated a disabled person due to an advance stage of Alzheimer's Disease.

The details of the Finney family saga pales in the face of the humiliation, hurt, and pain a purported “Man of God” chose to inflict on his own sister as he hides behind the guise of protecting his father's financial interests. However, this situation is perhaps all the more disgraceful because given the hypocrisy and demonstrated cruelty Rev. Dr. Finney, Jr., exhibited toward his own flesh and blood -- he exposed himself as an absolute antithesis of what the beloved “Lou” Jones represents to those who came together on May 16, 2006, at his historic, Metropolitan Apostolic Church, to honor and praise her.

Shame on you my brother, Leon, Jr., for your heresy and disrespect of a life that deserved far more than you brought to the pulpit.

Gwendolyn Finney-Wood


I called Gwen a little bit ago, and amazingly, she and her husband are in fantastic spirits. The sheriff who came to evict them, upon hearing the circumstances under which the eviction was happening, said, "You guys take as much time as you need to pack your stuff. It's cool." So, they're packing their valuables and memorables and moving back to Hawaii, where Gwen's family is, and they'll start a barbecue joint out there. Sure hope they can ship, because I will NEVER, EVER, go to Leon's Barbecue in Chicago EVER, and I would ask that y'all do the same.
Posted by Broad8:21 PM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Skeletor gots issues
Couldn't happen to a skinnier, nastier bitch: Lookit
Posted by Broad11:56 PM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
All right, I’ll talk about the Oscars, then
Nicole Kidman: Loved her look, even with the blonde hair and the massive forehead.
Jon Stewart was entirely too hip and smart for the Oscars. Bring back Steve Martin.
Charlize: Whose idea was it to take the big-ass bow off the butt of her dress and put it on her shoulder? Seriously.
Jessica Alba: Needs a sandwich.
Rachel Weisz: Why did she have velcro straps around her arms?
Jennifer Garner: Hasn't weaned Violet off the boob yet, in case you couldn't tell.
Keira Knightley: Eh. She looked all right. She's got a big ol' moon face.
Three-six: Holla!
Naomi Watts: Couldn't find a seamstress to fix her dress after she got part of it caught in a paper shredder.
Michelle Williams: Is my new Emmy Rossum. And nice red lipstick with the canary yellow dress.
Rachel McAdams: Putting a '40s 'do with a '60s frock doesn't work.
Jennifer Lopez: Usually I hate some aspect of the looks she goes for, but she was dead-on this time. Loved her dress, loved her hair, everything.
Felicity Huffman: Looked like used the double-sided tape for more than just keeping her dress in place.
Reese: Fine, but too conservative for my taste. Also, I didn't take her "real women" comment as a slam against Felicity playing a transsexual, but apparently others have. Who knew?
Dolly: There are no words for glammed-up trailer trash. It just kind of speaks for itself.
Ziyi Zhang: Gor-JUS.
Uma: I think she looked all right. Better than that other crap she wore a year or two ago.

Your turn.
Posted by Broad4:41 AM
Monday, March 06, 2006
Y’all are slipping
Ok, so where are all the Oscar fashion entries? I'm dyin' over here.
Posted by Broad7:10 PM
Friday, January 20, 2006
Last words
Still no official word if Maust is dead dead or not, but here's the suicide note as reprinted by the P-T. It's really very sad.
Posted by Broad1:27 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Truncated thoughts on the Golden Globe fashions …
Is it just me, or does anyone else want to pop actress Emmy Rossum in the face!?? I swear, every time I see her, I just want pummel her and smash her stupid little head into the ground. Don't know what it is.

Geena Davis -- A vision in red. HOT.
Marcia Cross -- Coral does NOT go with your coloring, no matter what your stylist says.
Who punched Scarlet Johanssen in the mouth!??
Alanis makes enough money, so what was up with the see-thru burlap sack? (and where was her hot fiance!?)
Posted by Broad5:33 AM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Oh, Oprah. How utterly disappointing
Got to reading the whole James Frey-A Million Little Pieces controversy yesterday -- if you haven't read it, here t'is: Lookit. Well-executed, if lengthy, piece of investigating journalism. If you're not familiar and don't want to read the whole thing, here's a rundown: Frey wrote this book about his drug-, violence- and booze-addled life; it became a huge best-seller and eventually got the coveted Oprah seal of approval. Thing is, there were several passages that fell into the whole "if it seems too unreal, it probably is" scenario, so TSG investigated. The verdict? About the only thing they could prove true was that Frey spent time at Hazelden. According to its account, Frey even admitted to TSG (off the record, natch) that a lot of the stuff was written with dramatic license, even though to the outside world, he pimps it all as 1 million percent true.

Well, after Frey figured out that the TSG homies were sitting on his funeral pyre with a blowtorch, he freaked and sicced his lawyer on them, and then like a big dumbass posted on his Web site TSG's response to him -- which enumerates their off-the-record conversation in detail -- on his Web site, effectively ruining any defense he had about keeping stuff "off the record" in the first place. What posessed him to do that, I don't know -- perhaps he thinks because all these people bought the book and therefore bought into the lie, they won't buy stone-cold evidence.

But I digress.

I wish I would've watched Frey's Larry King interview last night, because according to AP, l'Oprah called in and stood by him, saying the only relevant point on which the masses should focus is that Frey was a drug addict who overcame his drug addictness. NOT that he wholesale fabricated or embellished to the nth degree THE ENTIRE BOOK and claims it's his life song-and-verse, but that he's a survivor.

I don't know how it is that I keep being amazed by the lengths in which people will go to protect their almighty dinero, but Jesus Christ, man! I mean, if it was mere getting facts wrong or that he pimped it as a work of fiction like he originally tried (but publishing houses wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole), that's one thing. But HE LIED. How could Oprah think it's a good thing to come out and support this guy!?? Is she screwing him or something? Because that's insane.

If you got the time, read TSG's report -- especially the part about how he took credit for a fatal accident in which he WAS NOT INVOLVED EVER. Un.real.
Posted by Broad9:49 AM
Friday, November 18, 2005
More marketing moronity
Driving to Poppy's yesterday, and what do I see but a big fancy white Hemi truck with its business advertising all up on it. The name of the business? "Rolling Stone Masonry." "Clever," I think, for an NWI business.

NOW IF ONLY YOU HADN'T GONE AHEAD AND ADOPTED THE ROLLING STONES LOGO AS YOUR OWN AND EMBLAZONED IT ON THE SIDE OF THE DAMN TRUCK, I COULD'VE LET IT GO, DUMBASS.

My editor's going to send me the story I did on what happens to businesses who don't do their due diligence before choosing a company name, but basically, if you get caught using a company's name, likeness or anything about it, it's called trademark dilution, and you're screwed: Lookit. And the penalties ain't cheap. At the very least, the Rolling Stones could send a "cease and desist"; if he's smart, homie would change his truck, letterhead and all other facets of his business -- a huge expense, as the subjects of my story found out. But we've already established he's not by virtue of using the trademark in the first place, so if he doesn't get rid of it, the fines start about $250,000, as I recall.

I wish I'd gotten where this cat's out of, because I'd have no qualms sending him a letter instructing him of his dumbass-ness.

[UPDATE: See story below.]
Posted by Broad4:45 PM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Jeezy Creezy, behold this marketing nightmare
Going through my e-mail this morning, and I took a gander at Al's Morning Meeting, like I'm wont to do. (AMM, for those who've never been, is a journalist newsletter that provides topics from all over the country.) The first topic this morning was about how these t-shirts with a snowman on them are getting banned in schools; this rapper inexplicably named Jeezy uses them as his logo. Thing is, "snowman" apparently means "drug dealer" in certain circles, so schools are all freaked out about it.

The following is what Master Jeezy said to Mtv in defense of his logo:
'You gotta understand what it symbolizes,' he explained. 'It symbolizes a young hustler. If a cat goes and gets fresh, hits the club or goes to an event and he has a Snowman shirt on, it's almost like a white tee. You can throw on a white tee and G your way through the party. You might have a Snowman shirt on and it's all good. Everybody can't afford the Gucci and everything. It's the next best thing, the Snowman.

'Snowman is a cool dude,' he continued. 'He's a gangsta too. There's a Snowman in every 'hood, several Snowmen in the 'hood. You gotta be that dude to look up to with the car and the girl. Whatever you do, be the best at it, because that's what the Snowman is going to do.'

Posted by Broad2:09 PM
Friday, November 11, 2005
“Children are our future, but today belongs to ME!”
Watching a bunch of middle-aged teachers trying to learn West African dancing tonight was pretty damn hilarious, I must say. Different syncopation, my ass -- even I could figure out how it went. Or maybe it's just the repressed drummer girl in me.

So, did I tell y'all about taking Mother to get her flu shot a week or so ago? No no, nothing particularly remarkable about it except for these two Mexican women who brought a Satan spawn of hell into the waiting room. Now, I'll point out that we had to be up early to get Mother there for me to work the rest of the day, so clearly my happy wasn't firing on all pistons. But these two started chattering away loudly in Spanish, and the kid started screaming for whatever reason. Well, you'd have thought someone was stabbing me in the head with a spoon, because I'm quite sure my blood pressure went up and I had steam coming out of my ears. I tried shushing them first, and that worked for about two minutes before the brat started howling again. So after giving them the hairy eyeball for awhile, I made a production of getting up out of my seat and moving to the other side of the waiting room, and that shut them up long enough for Mother to have gotten her shot.

The reason I bring this up? Chicago trixie moms are having a hemorrhage at a bakery/coffe shop owner for putting a sign up in his shop that asks them to make sure their children are using their "indoor voices": Lookit.

Now, when I was a wee broad, it was tradition that on Fridays, the folks would pick me up from school, then pick up my grandmother (the one I hated, of course, and who hated me back with equal ardor) and we'd go to Baker's Square when it was known as Poppin' Fresh, or perhaps Steffie & Joe's in Highland, which is now a parking lot on the corner of Highway and Kennedy. So we'd go and enjoy our dinner, and in order to keep me quiet, the folks would allow me to make "lemonade" with the water (read: pour as much salt, pepper, sugar and lemon into my water as possible. It was pretty). Either that or they'd let me bring in a book of some sort, but there was no crawling under the table or looking over the side of the booth at the neighbors or any other such nonsense; if there was, I'd have had a foot up my ass. So would someone like to tell me why it's so offensive to ask these parents to control their children? It's not like the guy is even being a jerk about it, but here are all these women talking about boycotting the joint. I don't think it's too much to ask that if you're child is acting a fool, get him or her out of the situation.*
Posted by Broad2:34 AM
Monday, November 07, 2005
Have I dated that guy?
If Mother is difficult to deal with when I'm firing on all pistons, believe me when I tell you she's downright unbearable when I feel like shit warmed-over. I take her to Strack's to get some groceries, and this woman came up to me and started making polite conversation in the deli line. Well, Mother, who was previously in the bakery line, comes barreling up and talking right over the woman about how she wants "five slices of chicken roll" and how "Wait, chicken breast isn't the same thing as chicken roll!" and ohmifuckingGOD, will you stop behaving like an 8 year-old already!?

Not sure if any of y'all pay attention to New York media like I do, but there's a story out about a free-lancer who's been arrested for impersonating a firefighter and sexually assaulting a co-worker of his ex-girlfriend for 13 hours after setting a small fire in her apartment building and holding her hostage: Lookit. Authorities have pegged this guy, whose star once shone bright but then hit the skids, right? Well, this guy's got a rap sheet, and on it is how he stalked and tormented his former girlfriend for, like, two years. Even better? He kept a couple blog-like up things about it -- cleverly hidden in a Web site about a play he'd written. Here's one of them -- Lookit -- and on it is the link to the other one. Just ... wow. If the guy wasn't so fucked up, you'd almost have to admire his writing. Goes to show you what too much intelligence can do to a person sometimes.

[Link via Editrix]
Posted by Broad10:05 PM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
When parenting goes horribly, horribly wrong
The horror that is David Maust, behind perhaps the most notorious murder in Northwest Indiana, has finally come to an end, it seems; he took the plea and will now serve three consecutive life sentences at an undisclosed prison for the murders of Jimmy Raganyi, Michael Dennis and Nick James.

I'm proud to say that I was the one who broke the story to the world when it happened in December 2003; a source of mine called me to tell me that the Hammond Fire Department was going to the Ash street house to follow up on a suspicion that bodies were buried in its foundation. I immediately called the paper, and they ... gave it to staff writers to write, which is what they do on huge stories like that. But, since I was the correspondent who gave them the tip, they were cool and threw me a bone: Find the kid with a common Mexican surname in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood who was with Michael Dennis the night he decided to run away from home. I did it, too, on the first try, and that's still one of my best reporting memories -- that and the fact that I was the only correspondent the paper allowed to work on the story.

So anyway, I've worked on the story since then, covering vigils for the boys and whatnot. But reading the way this ended has made me incredibly sad, not for the kids' parents, because I've been sad for them since it happened. I'm sad for Maust. Seriously.

The following is taken from Post-Tribune crime beat correspondent and homegirl Ruthann Krause:
Posted by Broad1:33 PM
Friday, October 14, 2005
Looking at the world (from the inside of his ass)
Once again, the cleanup has begun at Chez Broad for the impending arrival of the Snidge; this time, she's bringing along her baby brudder, and we're going to see this massive hunk o' musical genius at Park West Saturday night, to which I've never been. Save for Roger Clyne this summer, it's my first real concert in a long time, so I'm pumped. And thankfully, the crib still is in pretty good shape from when she was up here for the races in September. Could it be that I'm becoming less of a human pig?

(snicker)

In the meantime, I'm taking a break from picking up, and I check the competition's Web site to see what they've got going; it's something I do to a) see if we've been scooped and b) compare stories with the reporter I covered something with. So I scroll down to the columnist section, and I see this one columnist has a new one up about an incident that happened last Wednesday near East Chicago where this pigfucker named George Soltis made a couple homeade bombs and took his soon-to-be ex-wife Dora on the ride of her almost-death. By the grace of God, Dora was able to jump out of the moving vehicle, but not before pigfucker beat the will to live out of her with the ass-end of a .357. As well, pigfucker called Dora's son to tell him his plan to blow the two of them to kingdom come, and the boy was able to call police, who then found the two, arrested pigfucker and detonated the explosive devices.

[A side note: This all happened not more than five minutes from Chez Broad, and I DIDN'T HEAR A DAMN THING. I was home all night, too. And not drunk.]

Naturally, the event was front-page news with the requisite photos of a badly beaten Dora, so the columnist wrote about it and how yeah, it was great that Dora escaped from the pigfucker alive, but you know, she saw the signs that the guy was bad news. Why didn't she get out sooner!?? Or why did she go out for that one last dinner with him!?? And I thought to myself, "You know, [name redacted for not wanting to pimp out the competition, plus this guy's a jerk], methinks that you're spending too much time in the casinos observing people's behavior -- to which you devoted a whole column -- or you've forgotten the time you spent over in the Balkans covering the war, or you're just not getting a whole lot of real-life assignments, because you really don't have a clue, do you?"
Posted by Broad4:19 AM
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It is the job of a good person to be honest. To be self-aware. To deliberately explore the fault lines of your character and try desperately to not inflict suffering in this strange, ghost-ridden world of worked and fabricated objects. Sometimes the jobs of writer and good person coincide. But more often they don’t. There are way more writers in the world than there are good people.

100 things
Info meme #1
Typelogic says I'm an INFP.
Check my weekly astrological groove here.

Give it to me, baby.

Pssst ... My birthday's Feb. 3, and I want this, and this, and this ...


The Make-Believe Oral Cancer Foundation (M-BOCF) is now accepting donations on my behalf. Won't you please help those of us who jump to hideous conclusions regarding our oral health and help me get a root canal or two!??:



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Broad said: Like I said, my feelings are complicated on the matter, so ... I’m interested, however, in Her Highness’ thoughts on… ...[go].

Caterina said: ARGH!!! Not to deny you your goddess-given right of reflections and wishing what might-have-beens, but this guy was straight up… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, guess who was most nasty about the charitable giving?  The frigging church.  My church and my mom’s… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: By the by, I’m not the only one I know.  I have friends who work at soup kitchens because they’re… ...[go].

Wholovesya? said: As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment!  I have… ...[go].

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This explains that large bit of type at the top.

Tagline by Ben F'in Mollin, talking about those times you wake up still drunk from the night before.

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